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How to start a relationship but not want anything sexual for a while?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by justinishere, Oct 11, 2009.

  1. justinishere

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    So I have been "out there" looking for potential boyfriends :lol:

    The thing is with me still being young, I really want to experience "love" and not have something just sexual come out of it. I know hormones are going crazy but how do you have a relationship and have the guy know that you don't want anything sexual for a while... I mean really like a month or two of getting to know each other before going all the way.

    Thanks! You all are the greatest! :slight_smile:
     
  2. Nicvcer

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    I admire your conviction! I would say be honest, but I haven't really had any relationships, so I'm not the best advice on this. I did have one boyfriend, and I told him the same thing. Well I got two weeks to get to know him, and well, I didn't really think I could ever fall in love with him and we broke it off. So, at least in that example, honesty was the best policy! We're still friends.
     
  3. GoBabyGoGo

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    Good luck with that.

    Ive been through that stage. Ive never had a boyfriend and next year ill be packing for uni. Im just really hoping i can find someone there. Its tough, but just think how much more special it will be when you eventually find someone :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  4. AllSmiles

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    Good luck! I think you should say that you want to get to know the person at first. If he can't respect that, I don't think you should to have something with him.

    I've never had a boyfriend myself, but I think that it should be someone, who respects me and my choices. If he can't do that, I don't think he's a guy, that I would like to be with.

    Good luck and I wish the best for you :kiss:
     
  5. Davo

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    As others have said, be honest. I told my boyfriend that this was my first relationship I wanted to take each step carefully, and enjoy our time together before we embarked on a sexual relationship... as there are plenty of other ways to be intimate that I wanted to explore first. My boyfriend being the amazing guy he is was perfectly fine with that, and was so understanding as he felt the same way, that sex is an expression of how we feel for each other.

    Be clear about what you're looking for, and don't be pressured into doing something you don't want to. The right guy will understand
     
  6. justinishere

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    That's so sweet :slight_smile:

    Thanks for the example, hope it works out just like it did for you! :slight_smile:
     
  7. Become friends first. Get to know what they're really like and be able to be comfortable around them. If you find out that you like them, then go for the relationship. One of my best friends went straight into a relationship with a boy he barely knew, and had sex within the week, and he really regrets it. So your idea to wait a while is great! :thumbsup: Just make sure you know who they are and what they like and don't like, and then, if you like them, go for it!
     
  8. quicksilver1814

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    Be true to yourself, if you dont want to have sexual related things yet, you shouldnt. Your bf will have to respect that.
     
  9. Possibly Maybe

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    I think this goes from person to person, the way they view intimacy and sex. Some people jump at it, others don't. I would advise you to be honest from the start with the person, and take it from there. They can't force you into anything you don't want to do, and vice-versa. They should respect you and care enough to get to know you :slight_smile: good luck!!
     
  10. justinishere

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    Thank you everyone! I love you all! :slight_smile:

    So another problem I am having is that every guy I crush on in real life, as time goes by I find out those things that I don't like about them. Example: friends are jerks/bullies, bad attitude about simple things, etc.... Help again! Please :slight_smile:
     
  11. s5m1

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    There is no such thing as a perfect person. Each of us has personality traits that someone will consider flaws. If you hold out for someone who has none, you will live a lonely life. I suggest you should look for someone who has the qualities that you like and not get hung up on the parts of them that you do not like. Give them a fair chance and get to know more about them, as a whole. You may find that the good makes the less good worth it. You may find it doesn’t. If not, move on. But, you need to give people a chance before you make that decision.
     
  12. justinishere

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    That's really good advice! Thank you! (*hug*)
     
  13. malachite

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    I think waiting a month or two is reasonable, so just tell the person. Anyone who breaks it off because you want to wait a lousy month or two before doing the matress mombo is someone who you don't want to waste your time with.