how can i teach my mum to knock on the door before she comes into my room? she just wont do it. ive told her over and over again but she doesnt seem to even TRY to remember. its drives me mad cos i dont want her to see what im doint on the internet, not that its porn or anythin but just, like,..when im on EC or even just onf acebook whatever, i dont want her to read my private messages. so either i just quickly shut my laptop which makes her kind of suspicious, or i leave it and she can and actually DOES stand behind me and just reads what im doing! when i tell her not to do that she goes like "what, i wasnt looking" which is clearly untrue. it just pisses me off that she seems to not even try!! my dad "tries", but he just goes: KNOCK-ENTER, without even leaving me time to answer. at least he tries tho. thanks
Give her a treat everytime she does it right? In all seriousness, she is your mother and if she thinks your searching something bad (and shes going to if you quickly shut your computer) then she will only do it MORE. First off, try turning your computer around so that it is not visible from the door area. When she walks in use alt+tab to discreetly shuffle through the windows you have open to make something else pop up on your screen and then you dont have to shut it and she gets less suspicious. Then, try and ask your mom to knock on your door using logic. Give her reasons why you want her to. Make up stuff about how it would make you feel more comfortable and you want her to respect you and blah blah. Just make sure your not going "MOM! GEEZE! KNOCK before you enter next time!" and getting all flustered. Thats going to show you have something to hide. If you talk to her in a calm way and lay down some reasons as to why you want her to knock, you stand a much better chance.
Been there! I tried asking my father if he would knock first since it really startles me to have the door open suddenly (really, it was for the same reasons as you), and he removed my door the next day and never put it back on. Thankfully I moved out! My mom was more chill with the door-thing. I just asked her one day to knock first since I believe 17 is a good age to have some responsibility, and it's not as though I'm doing anything wrong in there. At very least, she knows I'm far from being the type to look at porn or prostitute myself online. By the end of summer, she'd still walk in, but at least give me a moment to compose myself. Lesson learned: dorms are amazing because no one can walk in.
well, thanks, i'll just keep trying to tell her. the thing is, when i'm sitting at my desk whoever stands in the door has a full view at my computer. oh well. maybe she'll understand at some point. but just today again, ive told her like, 5 times? and everytime again, she just won't knock...
have a different 'innocent' tab open always and whenever someone walks in quickly and surreptitiously press control 'w' to close the facebook or EC or whatever tab is you're reading/posting leaving only the innocent tab open; obviously you would have to get used to hitting control 'w' quickly and without looking but yeah. To reopen the tab when they leave, control shift 't'.
wow i just told my mom that i don't want her to walk in on me masturbating and that stopped that.......
^ Haha, brilliant!! Do you have a laptop or a desktop? When I have a laptop, I like to just stick it in my lap and turn my chair around sometimes so no one can see what I'm doing. As for desktops... If you can't stop the coming-in-without-knocking, it may work to dim it and tilt it so it's hard to see from other angles. That may help in the short term.
The fact that you've repeatedly told her and she refuses to honor your request shows this to be a boundary issue. Your mom (and to a lesser extent your dad) has crappy boundaries and either doesn't understand your need for them, or doesn't care. I have two suggestions. First, you might go up to her when you're both in the living room or kitchen or somewhere and, separately from the moment where she's busting in on you, just explain that it feels like your personal space and privacy is being violated every time she opens the door without knocking and waiting, and that it is hurtful and upsetting to you. If you put it that way, she *might* get it. If not, you can try adding "How would you feel if I simply barged in to your room while you and Dad are having sex?" and hopefully that would get the message across. You could also, in addition, post a "Please knock first and wait for a response" sign on your door which will serve as an added reminder. The second solution is to get a new doorknob with a lock on it. They can be had for about $8 at Home Depot and in most cases it takes about 5 minutes to install if you buy one that's the same type as what's on there now. Or just get a janky gate hook and eye (about a buck) and put that on the inside of your door, but if she doesn't take the hint and pushes hard on the door, she'll just rip it out. And I must say I love Beachboy's response but dunno if I would have had the balls to say it when I was his age
Well sweetheart, you dont If she choses to do so or not is entirely up to her. Your a minor living under your parents roof. I doubt your in a position to tell her what to do in their own house, especially the Lady of the house. Mothers also have the right to search your possessions which is a common misconception people have. You can't afford anything for yourself and i am sure 80% or more of whatever u have comes from ether parents. So when u look at it, we are in no position to tell them what to do, we can only request and hope they conform to our wishes. I come from a diplomatic family, so I am lucky enough. IDK about you. Lots of teens arn't s lucky. But you can try just leaving your door open or putting up a sign. "Knock and wait for an answer" that should get the message across clear.
There's a huge difference between legal rights and healthy boundaries. Yes, a parent has a legal right to enter a child's room, search it, etc. But it doesn't make it right, nor does it make it emotionally healthy for a teen. Parents with good boundaries understand and respect their childrens' need for privacy and honor it by knocking and waiting. As such, it is absolutely normal and reasonable to have a discussion and ask one's parents to respect their boundaries.
Lock the door, and when they struggle to open it just wait and see if they remember to knock, my friend locks his door all the time and has the same thing, so maybe when they struggle opening you could just pretend like they are knocking so just ask what they want then unlok it
This is actually the thing that stopped my parents from just opening my door and walking into my room :lol: Of course it wasn't until just "AFTER" my mom opened the door and found me "doing" the nasty with myself :roflmao: (thank gawd the cute boy next door wasn't in my room at the time)(!)
:roflmao: Love it! My mom used to knock, slightly open the door, and then shout, "PUT IT IN YOUR PANTS! I'M COMING IN!" zoeee, I think calchip gave you the best response so far. Just have a serious talk with her about it, let her know it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you can make a compromise and you won't close the door all the way if she'll knock every time. I don't know. I've fortunately never had this problem, so I don't have much advice to offer. Good luck.
I think you should try to talk with your mom and say, that your privacy and personal life is important to you. And that it annoys you every time she comes in without knocking on your door.
Be nude. When I was a teen my Dad never knocked before coming into my room. So, when I was in there I would take my clothes off and walk around nude. It only took 2 times of him walking in on his naked son for him to start knocking.
When I tried that my mom just kept forcing the door open "Hmm something's blocking the door!" "God dammit, knock before you enter!" The thing is, she had a tendency of knocking as she was opening the door, which is of no use.
I sat down and had a talk with my mom. I explained that it's an invasion of privacy and I feel violated like I don't "have any personal space" or even "my own room" when anyone can walk into my room 24/7 like that. I told her this calmly and that if she wouldn't let me put a lock on the door, to at least please have the curteousy to knock and ask if she could come in before entering after I replied with a "yes". Yelling doesn't solve much otherwise parents will think you're a "whiny teen with no right to earn rights"
