if everyone would please read...

Well first off, welcome to EC. :smilewave

And don’t worry this feeling of questioning and confusion isn’t all too unusual. It could be a phase of curiosity you’re going through, or a new discovery of feelings you have had all along without knowing. Just ponder it; there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Think and reflect over your new found feelings, give them time and accept them. Don’t be in a rush to declare yourself exclusively attracted to guys or girls, sexuality and attraction are bigger than all of us.

 

It sounds that you may be bisexual. There is nothing wrong with that, and there are many bisexuals that prefer women then men and there are bisexuals that prefer men than women. You said you felt no homosexual desire in the past, perhaps it was there all along but you did not notice it and it was in the unconscious mind. According to Freud the largest part of our mind is the unconscious one. The unconscious mind is the source of our motivations, sexual desires or desires for food or drink.

I would suggest further reading topics on psychoanalysis theory especially by Sigmund Freud.

 

Well, what your describing may be a 2 or 3 on the Kinsey Scale.

Most people are not 100% straight or 100% gay. You may just have some bisexuality in you. It may not be strong or present enough to ever get you to fall in love and have a relationship with a guy, but it can still arouse you. This can really bother alot of guys and gals who otherwise would call themselves "straight".

But - you said you just recently started having these feelings. The fact you dont like seeing two guys kiss the same as two girls or the fact you cant see yourself in a relationship with a guy *can* just be the sheer fact our society is so heterosexuality dominant that its deeply ingrained in your mind to be straight. That fact alone can cause you to deeply repress any homosexuality for years. If this is the case, i would say give it time. You will know for sure if your feelings start to change. For alot of people its starts with gravitating to the gay porn more often, then looking at guys more than girls in public and having day dreams / dreams about guys increasingly.

The fact these feelings and bothering you enough or strong enough to get you to sign on to this forum is a sign that its not just some phase though. That can be scary, but dont worry (*hug*) EC and much of the LGBT community is very welcoming. If you have issues or questions this is DEFINITELY the right place to be!

 

welcome to my world dude!!!

Your first ever post is REALLY similar to mine. i LOVE chicks... but dudes... have a certain allure. I'm more attracted to women... but guys... there is something....

For me, attraction to guys is a completely different dynamic to attraction to girls. Lemme find you my first post....
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27622

are you able to find guys hot? Check these ones out, lemme know what you think. http://www.afterellen.com/blog/malinda/top-10-lesbianish-men

I'm with you in one regard... the idea of getting down and dirty with a guy still terrifies me a little. But i know i would enjoy it if i could relax enough to let it happen.

 

:lol: WOW
I welcome to EC lad!

To be honest, your words leave my mind very puzzled. I have never seen anyone on this site so confused in the years I have been here (not much anyways, but still)
I agree with dude99 about the Frued theory. I did a bit of reading about it while doing Philosophy 101, maybe it will better help shed some light on the psychological aspect of things.

In my opinion though, I think your just straight. Its not unnatural for a straight guy to be turned on by seeing homosexual activities. Being bashful or scornful of it does not make you hetero ether. Just makes you bashful and homophobic. Get what I am saying? Being homophobic does not make you straight or vise versa.

Its no phase. Its just again goes back to psychology. And drawing reference to what Greggers said, society plays a huge part in your questioning. You find yourself doing something that is "gay" that is stereoscopically(for not all gay porn models are gay anyways) "gay" you are obviously going to start thinking your "gay".

My dad once told me. "Oh nothing is better than the smell of a woman, and the softness of her bosom my son ^_^" ...which I think he purposely did that because he knew I was about to come out to him that night. But nahhh! :lol: I kept my big mouth shut and left him saying that. you and him will probably get along well in that department.

Nonetheless, I also agree with those who say its too soon to start determining your sexual orientation for sexuality is above all of us. In fact, you can only imagine never being with a guy. But you can't say you will never be with one or most common "but, but, I dont like men! D; "
Thatsssss just a load of crap. I always say to people, dont say you dont like what you have never tried before. (note)Thats my philosophy.

-Besides, I am in a relationship with a guy who is predominantly heterosexual and incidentally homo....I am the only guy who he has ever or ever wants to be with....or so he says anyways :dry: So I can in some ways relate you to him as he tells me similar things you speak of in relation to the porn and women(smell) thing minus the physical feelings part.

I do wish u best of luck though mate. Honestly, you should not be troubled by this. Keep going out with ya chicks, keep jacking off to gay-straight porn, keep doing ya thing. Your sweating it and your ranting about sweating it but WHY are you sweating it?

Its kinda like a research paper. Hehehe *gigglesness*(Thank God I am leaving college soon, its rubbing off on me hard) you have to lay down your proposal as to why, who, whenever and how. Once you answer those, u got your answer. I think we got everything already, just you and ONLY you, can figure out why your so troubled by it. All we can tell you is our moral opinion on what your doing.

Alex.

 

Hi! and welcome!

The thing about being bothered by things is sometimes that it feeds on itself. In the end, you're already getting riled up because you fear getting riled up!

And sometimes the things that attract us in porn aren't the sexes of the performers. I'm predominantly gay. The idea of kissing a girl turns me off (let alone the idea of doing more than kissing ). Yet, I have no problem getting off to straight porn (I don't really look at it for the kissing parts, though :icon_wink). Sex just looks differrent between two men vs between a man and a woman. And even though I have no real desire to exprience it with a woman, I still enjoy looking at it every now and again.
Now, what does this say about me? I don't know, really. Maybe I can fall in love with a girl, but it's just more difficult to find the right girl. I'm guessing I'll cross that bridge when I get to it though.

So the best course of action would be to not get too caught up in questioning what this means about your sexuality. You could just accept it as a fact, enjoy the occasional gay porn to get off on, and live your real relationships with girls. It's really not that different from people who enjoy watching BDSM porn or other fetishy stuff, while having no real inclination to try it out for themselves.
But if you need additional help or thoughts, don't hesitate to come here!

 

strange world we live in... i dont get off on gay porn at all, i need a vajayjay... but i'd still do shit with dudes!

 

I think that you should wait and se. Sometimes we realize things, if just let them happen without interfering.
And regardles of what or who you are, you shouldn't be ashamed of it, be proud of it :icon_bigg

 

I forgot to add; I can be walking on some street and then some girls comes up. Then I can think "wow, she looks hot" without considering myself as bi. You know, even gay guys know when a girl is hot, and I expect it works the same way around

 

:lol:Your not alone in that boat buddy.

Number 4, Brad Pitt. Eww! Puts a bad taste in my mouth. :dry:

 

You beat me to it lol I was just about to post that Freud was even more screwed up than anyone else. I know because I had two years of Psychology, so i really know what I'm talking about.

As for the original poster:

Hello there! Welcome to EC!
I thought that maybe you would like the female point of view on this 'problem' of yours. I, like yourself, started to question my sexuality at the age of 21, a rather late starter, really :dry: but that's another story.

As I see it, I think that the human mind is turned on by various things, not only what society tells us that is 'right' or 'wrong'. In the end of the day sex is sex, and visual stimuli is always going to turn you on to a certain point.

I think you're straight, and just having a normal response to what you see. And if not, then probably placed between one and two in the Kensey scale, and that's totally fine was well :icon_wink

 

Hi and welcome to EC! I can relate to what you're saying all too well.

I was around 20 years of age when I stumbled upon some gay porn (it was in a magazine - I didn't have internet access back then!) and was aroused by it. But if the thought ocurred to me that I was gay, I very quickly pushed it to the back of my head and didn't consider it again for another 15 years. But I continued to use gay porn.

During that time, I met my wife (my only serious relationship), bought a house, got a dog, and had two kids. THEN my orientation forced itself to the surface and into my consciousness again - and it wasn't a pretty scene for quite a while.

So I'm thrilled that you are thinking about this and questioning yourself, and that you're aware that there is more than one way to be (as opposed to me never questioning that I was straight and would get married, have kids, etc.). Take your time. Keep doing what you're doing. Eventually you'll figure it out.

 

I am kind of in a similar position as you are. Being with girls always felt natural to me. I am even currently in a 6 year relationship with a girl. I was about five years ago that I really started to notice guys and I noticed them more and more as the years went on. I think alot of my "thinking" I was straight was me suppressing all of of my feelings and denying who I really am. It wasn't until this past summer that I realized that I just cannot hide who I am anymore. I came out as bi to my girlfriend and three of my closest friends(although two of them pretty much know I am gay). For me it was something that I kind of thought of from time to time, but now I know I am for sure gay.

I think that its different for everyone. Some people know from a very early age, while it takes others a while to realize or are able to come to terms with their sexuality. Now I am not saying that you will be gay, because it is very possible that you are bi, but only time will tell for you.

 

My story has been told about a dozen times in this thread so I'll keep it short.

What finally solved the conflict for me was when a friend suggested,

"why don't you just spend a few days identifying yourself, in your head, as gay? Just look at things and pretend it's always been that way. Don't change anything on the outside, just think like you're gay.

By noon the next day, I knew it. I was very, very gay.

What tore me up was just how beautiful women are to me. Curvy, soft, and inviting, I just couldn't stop myself from looking.

But the moment I tried looking at a man like that, It wasn't about polite eyes, it was about keeping myself from jumping his bones.

How do your parent's view sexuality?

 

Sounds like me, but opposite

I'm in love with Megan Fox, and Sasha Grey.... and Lindsay Lohan.

and women who resemble them.

 

Dude you sounds just like how it happened with me, your not alone

 

Sounds like you're bi-sexual. The reason you feel "off" about watching guys kiss is that this is new and confusing. You want it, but some part of your brain is telling you it's wrong, which it isn't.

Give yourself time with this. You don't have to have everything figured out by a certain time.

And welcome to EC.