wish i could have kids.

First off, welcome to EC.

Secondly, gay =/= infertile. It's possible to have your own kids even if you were in a relationship with someone of the same sex, like with surrogacy and such. And also, with adoption, just because the kid isn't biologically yours doesn't mean that you can't love him or her as if he or she was.

Personally, I would most definitely give adoption consideration in the future when I'm capable of raising a child.

 

You're still young, you've got plenty of time, and like vic said, you have plenty of options. For now you can relax, safe in the knowledge that if you ever really want to have children, you can =)

 

Adoption is possible, even with babies. There are so many babies and young kids out there needing good loving homes it's not even funny. So if you could save and raise one or more of them you could better the world.

Surrogacy is possible. Hey, look at Clay Aiken. He had a good female friend do it for him and he's gay.

It's not just the gay dudes with the problem if us lesbians decided we were ready to have kids.

 

I struggle with this as well. I've always wantes kids. Twins to be exact LOL. Don't ask me why it was twins, but it's always me wanting twins. I've been depressed about this before because I know I'm gay and I have accepted that. My parents do foster care and I see all of these kids come in and out of the system and I feel sorry for them. Sure, I'd love to have my own blood children, but what about all of these others out there that need parent's already? Something to think about, I know.

 

This alone is one of the reasons it's taken me so long to accept being gay. I desperately want to have children one day.

Depending on how things work out, I want to try adopting before I try for a surrogate.

But, being gay is definitely not the end of the world in terms of having children.

 

It's weird.. Kids for me would be nice to have, but not right now. I want to live life with my partner first, travelling around the world and spending romantic evenings alone. Maybe a few years after that we can have kids, but give me my honeymoon first.

 

I'm actually the last male in my family, so everyone's depending on me to carry on the name. They're gonna be disappointed. :lol:

I definitely want kids one day. I'm a little sad that it won't be my own legitimate child, but one day, I'm hoping I'll reach the state of mind where it won't matter at all.

 

I plan on surrogacy, it's just something I'd like to do. But really it's more like I want one surrogate child, and one adopted child. That way I get to help a child who needs a great home, as well as a child that is my own blood. One question I have though for people who possibly know it. If when I'm ready for kids, I adopt a baby, can I still name the child or do I go with the name they might have? I always was curious about that because obviously a child who has lived with their name for a while you wouldn't want to change their name, it'd be mean and confusing, but if it's a baby?

 

I think it would depend on the arrangement with the parent. Usually infant adoptions are worked out before the baby is even born, so the name would likely be negotiable.

(Sounds terrible using that wording, but a birth certificate is a legal document...)

 

You will be able to nae the child what you want. There was a couple here who adopted two little girls. One was 7, the other was 6. Changes their First, Middle, and Last Names.

 

Nowadays there are a lot of options to get kids, if you want to. Youll just have to take some more effort than a lot of straight couples have to do! Of course, the plus side is that your kids are really a conscious choice, which you can prepare for in detail.

Personally, I would like kids one day. Preferably two.

What to go for would of course need to be negotiated between me and my partner. I'd really need a partner for this, as I'd rather not raise them alone.
Both surrogacy and adoption are possible options.
I would go with two adoptions or two surrogacies, though. Either we each get our own genetic kid, or not at all, to avoid any frition arising from that.

Though, again, it really would also depend a lot on the guy I would be doing the raising with...

 

Well, then the same advice I often give applies...

Accept the things you can not change,
change the things you can,
and figure out which is which.

Until you accept your situation as it is, you're not likely to be happy.

For me, I'm not sure I ever 'wanted' kids. I was just 'going with the flow' when I got married. I'm glad to have my two little girls, and I know that my life will be richer for having them. But there are other ways to enrich your life. You just need to look for them.

 

The only problem with with surrogacy is that it apparently is quite expensive...

 

Yeah, it makes me mad that if I meet a woman that I want to have children with (I know that I'm only seventeen, but it feels like I've met her already... a platonic friend) I physically can't. And I don't want to be the second pregnant man. (ew.) I'm already struggling with this crap, but I know that there are millions of kids out there waiting to be adopted by someone that will love them, and since I was adopted, and realize how crappy my life would have been if I hadn't been, I really want to adopt/ be a foster parent.

And about adopting kids, you can change their name whenever you want, but I'd say after they're a year old you'd want to keep the name they know themselves as. As for me, I was adopted at six weeks old, and my parents changed my name. My birth mother named me a really gross name, and my birth parents had a freakin' awesome name.

-Miles

 

I find it strange that no women have replied to this post, I think you girls need your say so.............. here is your chance!

 

adoption is always an option. I know it seems steriotyplical, but if you love kids then you have a chance to give some a good home.

 

Aw... yeah I want my own kids too .. they are sooo~ cute!

 

ha i've gone through the whole, well i'm gay that means i'll never have the whole normal family experience, but i eventually realized that you can if you want it enough, with gay marriage and adoption there are plenty of gay ppl that have the whole normal family thing, so i wouldn't worry about it, and i know adoption isn't exactly the same as having your own kid, but i think i could love an adopted kid just as much as one that shares my blood, and like what has already been said you could give a better life to a deserving kid, just don't steal kids from Africa like Madonna!