I've recently had a falling out of sort with a friend of mine. About a week or so ago, she was telling me about this girl she knew. I guess we'll call the girl Amy and my friend Liz. So anyway, Liz said that Amy was always depressed and really upset over really stupid and pointless things (in other words, what's commonly referred to as "emo") and she said Amy had been obsessed with her for years. At first I just assumed she was venting about the fact that this girl had annoyed her for a while. But, then Liz told me about her "perfect plan". Even though Liz was currently seeking the affections of a girl from school, she was going to tell Amy that she had loved her all along, and pretend to date her and other such things. I was kind of appalled by this, and told my friend that I didn't think it was a good idea. She said it was for Amy's own good. We got into discussing manipulation of other people, and having recently been used and thrown away by a guy who couldn't get what he wanted, this wasn't a very easy subject for me. In the end she just told me "Jacob, I'm a monster. Get used to it or distance yourself." I haven't talked to her since then. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I'm not really sure I want to be friends with someone who justifies playing with people like that so easily. >.< I know no one's perfect, but it's the fact that she's so proud of manipulating people, and so confident in the lies she tells. She reminds me exactly of the guy who used me, and I don't think I can watch her do that to someone.
You are easily in the right here! Small lies can be good and helpful but lies and manipulation of that magnitude are horrible, especially with someone who is depressed. You may want to rethink the friendship with Liz and tell Amy of Liz's plan becuase Liz's plan may end up making Amy much worse. If she was proud of her manipulation that is not good at all. She even says "i'm a monster". Her plan is dangerous and she needs to know that.
I've never been in that exact situation but I've seen a friend of mine going literally crazy. She was obsessed with this guy who was gay, and she was determined to do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to get him. Last March, I went out with her once and she said things that made me think that she needed urgent professional help. So, I distanced myself from her. To make things worse, in April I met the guy and I, um, kinda fell in love with him... and we had sex. A while after, he was so annoyed with her insistence that he told her that we had had sex. Then she hated me, until a couple days ago when she decided to "forgive" me. She is not a horrible person, but she can be a monster when she has an obsession. The only solution I found was distancing from her. It hurts - I've known her since we were toddlers - but sometimes she does more than what I can handle. I think that "Liz" has some problems of her own that she probably hasn't shared with you. Like my friend has. She only shared her problems with me (anorexia, low self-esteem, etc) years after they had begun and after I had known through my mother, who is a close friend of her mother's.
The problem is though, the only person I could ask for Amy's e-mail is Liz. I don't actually know the girl myself. Liz also dated a friend of mine, and she lied a lot. Not only to my friend, but she told her friends that my friend was abusive and things. I think that this could be a friendship I'd be better without. And thank you for the reply. ^_^ Edit: Awwh, I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your friend! But I guess sometimes there's nothing else you can do. I know it's not the same, but I used to have a friend who was hopelessly obsessed with a celebrity, and she maintained that she was going to marry him. She insisted that they shared a spiritual connections and she used to write out conversations between the two of them during class, saying she was talking to his spirit. It was hard to handle at times, but she also tried to force her religion on me. Anyway, again sorry to hear about what happened.
Liz sounds like a bad person and I think you and Amy would be much better off without her in your lives. Maybe Liz dating Amy would give Amy a chance to see how bad she was and for Amy to distance herself from Liz. Warning Amy seems like the best course of action. See if you can get a hold of her email address, even from Liz if you have to. Liz's "ends justify the means" attitude seems dangerous.
Yes, I saw it as dangerous right from the beginning. I've been afraid she's going to drive the poor girl to kill herself! My friend that Liz used to date might have the girl's e-mail address, and I'd much rather ask her for it. I'll see if I can get it next time my friend's online, though I don't know when that will be... I just hope Amy will be okay. But there's another problem. If Amy really is obsessed than what's saying she'd even believe me? But of course, I'm not going to let that stop me from trying.
Thats a good plan of action. You might want to try and get the girl Liz used to date to talk to (or email) Amy as well. Amy sounds like she needs help and that is something Liz can not give her.
No, I don't think Liz could help her at all, and definitely not how she's planning on doing it. I don't see how she could honestly think that would help, but if I can I'm going to stop it from happening.
