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I'm curious...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MLCarr, Oct 18, 2009.

?

What do you think: Are gay/bi girls drawn to gay/bi guys to date?

Poll closed Nov 17, 2009.
  1. Most definitely.

    2 vote(s)
    8.7%
  2. No, that's a myth. Sorry.

    3 vote(s)
    13.0%
  3. I'm not so sure...but it does make sense...

    8 vote(s)
    34.8%
  4. I have no idea.

    10 vote(s)
    43.5%
  1. MLCarr

    Full Member

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    Do you agree that girls who tend to date gay guys are looking for the feminine side and tend to turn out gay themselves?

    I have a friend, Eric, who just came out as gay yesterday. Now, my good friend (and current crush that's driving me nuts) Kristen dated Eric and another guy who I forget the name of who is also borderline gay, just not out yet. I have had this idea that Kristen isn't completely straight since I met her. At the same time though I hesitate because, since I like her, I could have a clouded sense of her. *sigh*

    Basically I know what i need to do to keep her as a good friend and just wait and see, I was more curious about the turnout of the above question. If you have anything to say you're welcome to add it!
     
  2. ADTR fan

    ADTR fan Guest

    i actually don't know that many gay girls, so i'm not sure. but in my case, i'm usually attracted to gay guys before i find out their gay :grin:
     
  3. Paragon

    Paragon Guest

    i dont know if i agree but its a very good point, i think girls may date feminine or gay guys because they may sometimes be nicer to them than straight or masculine guys.

    as for your friend, you could always ask her, assuming she would answer honestly
     
  4. AtomicCafe

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    Most of my male friends are gay, and I prefer their company over that of straight men because they're funnier, kinder, and usually more sympathetic when I'm down. Can't necessarily say this relates directly to their being gay since I've met plenty of gay men I've disliked.
     
  5. Camman3

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    1) Bi girls could be attracted to other bi guys because LGBT people generally have a better understanding of the "fluidity" of sexuality - gives them common ground, so it's possible.

    2) Girls could be attracted because some gay/bi guys are "nicer" (I'm not going to go into the whole stereotyping/generalising theme - I'm sure you know what I mean).

    Those are my thoughts anyway =)

    Oh, and as for gay girls going for gay guys... lol not happening ey!
     
  6. Numfarh

    Numfarh Guest

    Yes yes yes. Or at least it's true for me.
    I date effeminate men all the time. And a handful of the guys I have dated have also turned out to be gay.

    Also, I guess it doesn't help that I love men in drag.
     
  7. ethelred

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hmm, I don't know exactly. I mean one of those 'textbook' red flags for gay guys is a history of having ALOT of friends who happen to be girls. Most of my people in school have always been girls. Why? They're easier to talk to, and they 'get it,' whatever that means. Frankly, I don't understand why guys have so much trouble talking to them sometimes, or even understanding them.

    Of course, I'm not trying to go out with them, so that makes it easier. That may be why girls like gay guys, because they seem more genuine and neutral. By the time you're out, you've probably dealt with most of that cultural macho bullshit and dismissed it as silly, so there is no desire to prove yourself as the stereotype. Plus, it is easier to talk to guys who may seem less daunting when they seem less 'masculine'.

    Now, does that make them gay? Unlikely. In middle school a chunk of the girls I hung out with apparently had crushes on me, and only one turned out to be gay, and even then she was only a lesbian in high school. Come college she started dating a dude, which i assume means she is actually bi as she had first assumed in middle school.

    Lastly, let me state that in no way I am meaning to say that being a gay guy inherently makes you less masculine, though I think it may seem that way since the macho stereotype is so identified with manhood that anyone who violates it or ignores it will be labeled as feminine.
     
  8. GhostDog

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    I dunno! I prefer the ladies, but I have to say, I often find I have a soft spot for bi guys (also, transvestites). Most of my crushes on guys growing up were on really effeminate dudes. And I can think of several who were gay, and one who was bi. I dunno what it is, but if I find out a guy who I thought was straight is, in fact, bisexual, I find him a lot more interesting. Maybe queerness is just hot to me. =P But the guys I find myself interested almost always lack a sense of being macho or aggressive or anything overly "masculine". (Even though I find a certain amount of that hot as hell when it's a lady! Go fig.)

    But I have only dated once, and it was with a guy who was none of those things and it didn't really work out so well, so, uh, I may not be the best source, haha.
     
  9. Greggers

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    Ive heard that alot of girls who go after gay guys do it because they are afraid to commit or afraid of rejection or just have little self-esteem.

    Tyra told me so. Tyra is always right (ALWAYS!)
     
  10. Numfarh

    Numfarh Guest

    ...
    That's the lamest explanation for accidentally dating gay men that I've ever heard.
    And Tyra, while crazy, is almost always not right.
     
  11. MLCarr

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    It doesn't help my neutral view that my first boyfriend from my freshman year in high school came out yesterday... *sigh* The sad thing is I knew it all along.
     
  12. Paragon

    Paragon Guest

    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HK9VBxDlQOE[/YOUTUBE]
    this is why (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
     
  13. Holmes

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    From the other way around, there were two girls I liked, one for quite a few years, and then I realized that they had gone out with each other. It was about a month after then that I finally decided to start coming out. This was all about a year ago.

    So was there some reason that I was attracted to lesbians or bisexual girls, not knowing at the time that they were? I know it's not what you were wondering, but I do think it's an interesting question. There could also be no particular meaning, because I've also liked girls who were completely straight.