Right time for a long winded post and finally ask for help! Now I'm not the one to explain things clearly or fully. I cant help it pisses me off. Anyway here goes. Well the problems started when i came out to my best friend. I said I was gay to him over MSN. He came back to me shocked and that but he said that he was happy for me and would sick by me. I was pleased with this. He said that nothing will change. Boy was he wrong.... he never speaks to me face to face! He will speak over MSN fine but face to face naa he’s nervous and such, Makes me feel really bad and loanly. The next two people i came out to really can’t be bothered to speak to me now. When i need to get things off my chest. When i told one of them that i was gonna come out to the masses she was like you sure but she sed it like she couldn’t be bothered. It kind of knocked me back abit. Feel abit out cast atm. Next problem is dealing with my dad when i come out. I was thinking about speaking to a rather close family friend and see what she says about it and if the worst happens I can stay a night with her or what or talk to my dad about it all (They are rather close now). Any help would be wonderful guys! Jiggles. PS none of this probably makes sense but I'm totally mixed up and such. No wonder I have made over 200 posts in 2-3 days!
u posted so much coz ur awesome! dont come out to any more people unless your sure its the right course of action, as for your friends, you shouldnt want to be friends with such disrespectful people, your probably better off without them, its probably for the best
I want to come out as I feel I'm living a 'false' life in the sense that I'm not being me! Abuse from school peers I can live with as I have been bullied since I started school all those years back in 1997 so it doesn't effect me. As for ditching them I would have no one then.
thats probably why my advice doesnt help, see, i have a huge social flaw where i do everything to avoid bullying, i guess i was thinking more about myself when i was typing, sorry. you should try (as awkward as it its) asking the people is your coming out the reason theyve become distant...
I know where you are coming from about the bullying. I know alot of people can't handle it. ALSO on another note. The first guy never wants to come over to mine not either. He's always 'busy'. Sleep overs only had one then his mum said he's not allowed over for them any more... before she was more than happy for him to come over... hmm
this may sound out of the blue but maybe the guy who avoided u after u told him on msn is awkward but it affects him personally, is it possible hes closted himself?
Possibly. But he's never expressed interest in anything other than his Digital Piano! When it broke he was so distraught I was taken back by it.
pianosexual? no JK but u should look into it, ever since my firend came out to me ive been acting really awkward around him trying to come out to him, your friend may be experiencing the same thing
Possibly don't want to blurt it out and ask in case he isn't and the real fact is that he doesn't want to be around me but doesn't want to hurt me.
Hey Jiggles, First with your friends, you really should try to ask them about it. Tell them that you are feeling distant to them, and that you are worried that your coming out is the cause. Also mention that you really didn't want anything to change. But also that it is a hard time for you, and you wish you could have the support of your friends because that's what friends are for. Second with your dad, that sounds like a viable plan. Can you trust this family friend to keep it secret if based on your conversation you decide to wait a bit before telling your dad.
Hey Im sorry that your friend has been acting like that towards you in public. It seems like he is just maybe having a hard time accepting it. When people feel like they know you and then you come out to them it can be really shocking. Just try to give him some time and let him know that you are the same person. As for your other friends, they should be there to support you and listen to you, try talking to them about how you feel, let them know that you would appreciate if they were really there for you during this time. It can be scary when you decide to start coming out to your friends, but we are all here to support you As for your dad, do you feel like he will take it badly when you tell him? Has he given you a reason to think that he doesn't like gay people?
Ill try and speak to them. I just don't want to sound like I'm going on and on about it to them. I trust her. She's a Primary school teacher! (5-11 Year olds) See above. I really really don't know. He never says much about it. although he has commented on two gay people on TV he just went "Look at those poofs." but I could tell that he was just larking about. That's what it seemed to me. Expecting me to think the same. :eusa_doh: Thanks so far.
@$%&*$£ so called friends! The guy said sorry to me and tried to make amends so I'm getting somewhere with him! As for the other two I'm what I call a 'back up' friend. I.E. If their other friends are in class or that they come to me. Which is not exactly nice really. Rather be with the others than me. As for dad, I'm going to go to my Guidance teacher and speak to her. Seeing as this is what they are for. Get things out and that. ARGH!
Right just been to see my guidance teacher and I'm shaking like nothing on earth... She was supportive and made me feel better and that. She is going to be contacting LGBT Scotland and get someone in to help discuss things with me. So thats going to be interesting. Things are getting better in funny way. Baby Steps at a time I suppose
I've had similar happen to me, and many of us would have had the same happen around here. Of course, this is kinda a big thing to digest for some people. Give them time and they'll realise that they're being idiots. If not, they're not true friends. Sadly if you can't salvage your relationship with them, there's not much you can do. Don't let it discourage you continuing your way out of the closet though, you'll definitely find a bunch of accepting people!
