6 year friendship down the drain.

Ouch that's really bad. If she ever says you have changed its her that has. That's just cutter her nose to spite her face.

 

You need to let her go. At least for the time being. Remember - she thinks she's helping. To her way of thinking, she sees a friend falling into a pit of sin and decadence, and feels she needs to save you from it. You obviously don't see it that way, but she does. If you'd like, you can send her one more message. "Look, I'm gay. This isn't a choice - it's who I am. I don't need help saving myself from my sexuality. I'm totally fine with my sexuality. If you have a problem with it, then I guess we'll just have to cut contact." Then, stick with it.

Then go out and find yourself a Warren G.

Lex

 

Most of us have been there, at least I know I have, but there comes a time when you have to cut the ties that bind. I know you hate to loose a friend, but if she is just injecting negative venom into your life then you have to ask yourself: is this person worth what she is putting you through?

The long and short of it is: you can't reason with a closed mind. If she can't except your life choice then maybe she shouldn't be in your life.

 

ya, that.

get rid of her. she might grow up and stop being a hater later.

 

I really don't mean to hijack this thread, but I can't help but take issue with your use of the term "life choice." Describing someone's sexuality as a "life choice" makes it akin to things one has a choice about- such as drug use, promiscuity and eating too much frozen chocolate cheesecake at the state fair =P. I personally didn't choose to be gay; if I had a choice whenever my sexuality was determined, I might have actually chosen to be straight. Sorry, I just had to comment and couldn't keep my mouth shut- it's just something I feel really strongly about. Feel free to go back to discussing the OP's questions and conversation at hand.

 

Haahaaa Too Funny!!

 

This same exact thing happend to me. She and I were best friends for about 6 years, we even dated on and off through out those years. We were really close, she was the only one who knew everything about me and I knew everything about her. Ever since she found out the only thing she says to me is that is a sin, and Im going to hell. We went from talking/texting all day every day for 6 years to not speaking one word to eath other. I even kind of bitched at her because I told her that she was judging me and that TRUE friends accept you and support you no matter what the situation may be. She claimed that she couldnt support something that was a sin.. Needless to say we havent had any contact with each other in over a year, and my life truly is better without her. Yes, it sucked at the time that all of this went on because she was my only real friend (or so I thought), but I would rather have friends who will lift me up and support than drag me down and degrade me. I really believe that if she can't accept this small part of who you are then she doesn't deserve to have you in her life. Whatever happens, good luck.

 

I know I've had plenty of rants about homosexuality NOT being a choice, but being something you born with. Trust me I didn't mean anything by it.

 

good work pal

 

hey mate. Im really sorry how things are going with your friend. This kind of thing is so hard because she obviously means a great deal to you but at the same time she is rejecting a big part of who you are. I think you just have to give her some time to accept it. But at the end of the day if she doesnt acknowledge who you are then you may have to go your separate ways. She needs to understand you, and she needs to understand that being gay isnt something you`ve chosen.

Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out with her.
xxxxx

 

That blows man. If she's really your friend, she'll come around.

 

To the OP,

If she is against your sexuality based on religious reasons, (instead of actually being homophobic) then I will say it's a much better position than many of us. Changing a homophobic person is a lot difficult than changing the view of a religious person.

A lot of people who are against homosexuality happens to be opposed to this issue based on religious/cultural reasons, or even from ignorance, rather than being homophobic. If it's the latter, the chances of changing the person's mindset is difficult.

The story of Sodom and Gomorah had been interpreted in a lot of ways. Most scholars now agree that Sodom and Gommorah had actually been destroyed for sexual perversion (like rape, pedophila, bestiality) of either sexuality, and not for homosexuality. In fact, when you read the entire session of the event, even the sexual aspect becomes unimportant; their lack of hospitality and rudeness toward guests take the first step. The actual Hebrew version of the Bible have nothing remotely closer to any condemnation towards homosexuality. There are various websites and scholars out there who takes this interpretation of the story, rather than what it had been taught for so long. You can always expose her to that.

Another thing - is she against your sexuality, or your 'lifestyle'? I don't mean to sound personal, but is she simply against your sexuality, because she feels this is something you've chosen, or does she want you to visit psychologist or the likes to get rid of this (as if that's possible), or is she against your homosexual practices (if you indulge into any)?

I do not feel the girl is necessarily bad; I don't sense anything homophobic in her (unless you haven't mentioned it). She wants to save you (even if her understanding of the issue isn't correct) as much as she loves you.

Lastly, I think you are a lot lucky - pardon me for saying so - that it is only a friend. I have my entire family against my sexuality (they don't know 'bout my sexuality yet, and yet I know how much against they are regarding this issue), yet I have to survive there forever - because I love them very much.

Hope everything sorts out well. Contact me if you want to.

 

I had a friend who went through a similar situation. Him and this girl were really good friends and she knew he was gay, but one day she told him that she doesnt agree with gay people and that every time she saw him and his boyfriend together she was glad to see him but at the same time wanted to throw up. She didnt understand why he got soo upset, but I guess you truly dont understand until someone does the same thing to you.

It sucks that people have to be so homophobic and that they think they have to live their lives the way someone tells them to. We dont have a book to look at for what is right and wrong, and it seems like people who worship the bible sometimes tend to twist things in different ways. Its how they interpret the bible. I dont understand this, but letting he go would be the best thing to do. Sorry for rambling on here!

 

It sucks losing a friend because of stupid religion. But you're going to need to let her go, because if she can't love you for you, she's not worth your time.