To understand our relationship fully, you have to know the past. Last year, my friend--let's call her C--and I went out a couple of times. I, being incredibly self-conscious and having just fully accepted my sexuality, was unsure of the whole situation and called everything off before it even started. Well, guess what happened a while later? I realized I actually do have feelings for C. Real, romantic feelings. I've had this crush on her for a while now, and today she and I saw each other for the first time in a while, at an art club meeting. Throughout the whole meeting she and I couldn't stop talking and laughing -- I don't remember a time when we ever clicked like we did today. She just made me feel so happy and self-confident. I don't think my feelings for her have ever been that strong before. C invited me to go over to her house this weekend to hang out, and I (of course) said yes. I couldn't have had a better start to the afternoon. That...was when things started to go downhill. See, there's this other girl, M, who recently admitted she liked me. She was at art club today, too, and I guess noticed how much time C and I were spending with each other. As soon as it was over she proceeded to ask me if I liked C. *begin train wreck* I couldn't lie anymore. I had to tell M the truth. So I replied that yes, I thought I might have feelings for C. This was the first time I really admitted that I didn't like M as anything more than a friend, and it was difficult. That was rejection one, and that would've been enough to make my day a little worse. But then, almost instantly after that happened, I got a random text from C, referring to our plans for this weekend: "I'm glad we can still be friends after the whole dating thing. Sometimes stuff gets awkward, you know?" This girl who I've liked for such a long time, and who I was finally starting to reconnect with, basically just told me she only liked me platonically. Rejection two. BIG rejection two. (Do I even have to add that the minute I got home, my parents got into a new fight?) Needless to say, I feel like crap now. I'm really starting to wonder if God even wants me to be happy for more than twelve hours at a time before smushing me back down to reality again. I know this is a pointless thread. I mean, you guys can't do anything to fix my problems, but I really needed to vent a little. God, I sound like such a cliche, angsty teenager -- sorry for that.
(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Well, I think it was best that you told M that you didn't have feelings for her, because if she thought you did, the longer it goes on, the worse she would feel later. At least now she knows and can try to move on to someone else. As for you, I'm sorry that you feel like you're never going to be with someone. (*hug*) Don't give up hope. Peoples' feeling change all the time, and if you spend more time with C she might realize she still likes you romantically after all. However, that said, I think even though she doesn't like you like that, it sounds like someone who could turn into a very good friend.
