Feeling empty after coming out

i guess im still in the awkward phase form telling my mom...it kinda seem like yeah she knows but nothing has changed...you know, i feel weird...have you guys talk talked about it, or just does she just know...

 

"Miss being in the closet"? Your Out Status says just your mother and its only been a few days. I think now that you told someone in real life your being gay is solidified and its freaking you out. Its hard when all of society is constantly telling you that you need to be heterosexual, so these feelings are normal. Its one thing to accept your gay, its another to tell people. It makes it so much more real. As for "It's just such a change" its only been a few days. Im sure your emotions are still on a roller coaster effect going up and down and every way possible. Give yourself time.

 

I sorta felt that way, too, but quickly got over it.

I guess I kept thinking, "OK, I'm out, now what? When do I start dating?" The problem after coming out for me was that nothing changed. No one abandoned me. No one treated me any differently. But because I stayed single, I hardly felt gay. :lol:

It's easy to hold on to something for fear of change. Now that you've let it go and nothing's happened, you're just anxious. It's normal.

 

When you come out to someone for the first time it kind of feels like you've closed a door behind you, and there's no way you can turn back anymore, even if you wanted to. Change is stressful, even if it's a good change, and it's totally normal to be stressing out at this stage. It'll ease off, and being out can be really awesome

 

Coming out can be a long and grueling process, and feelings like this are normal. Every now and again I rethink whether I should have come out to everyone at such an early age and especially at a Catholic high school, but you need to focus on the positives of coming out and think about how bad it'd be if you didn't come out.

Just give it time and your confidence with the matter will grow. I've been out of the closet for over a year now and I still have troubles really talking about it. I can talk comfortably about guy problems with some people, but in terms of talking about sexuality itself in relation to me? Good luck, lol I avoid it like the plague. That being said, the times I do talk about it my friends and I get more in depth and I can talk about it slightly better than before. Still avoid it like I said, but it's getting better.

Just stick true to yourself, don't rush things and remember you're only 16. You're very brave to be coming out to people at this age.

 

Oh god, I am totally there right now. It does feel...weird. There was something alluring about hiding a secret, I guess. Now that its out, and no one really cares (MOST of my people already knew, they were just waiting to end the charade), its very...plain. Nothing has changed, really. Not that I am different now, 'cause I've always either liked dudes or been hard pressed to find a reason why to like girls, but I was expecting something else.

Its almost like watching a movie, it doesn't seem real.

 

See I've dated guys, I've come out to everyone but my parents, and I still don't feel right. I know what you're feeling but in a sort of backwards way. Instead of being out to my mother, I'm closeted, and since I have such a close relationship with her, the fact I'm hiding that part of me from her basically makes me feel like something's missing. I mean with breakups, when I was dating girls, she'd comfort me when the girl dumped me. (Though the fact the girl always dumped me should of alluded to something lol), but now when I'm dumped by guys, I have to deal with it myself. I don't have someone I can actually talk to aside from my friends, and while they're great, when you have the close relationship with your mother, it's your mother you want to go to for comfort. So yeah, I know what you mean x2x2x2x2y2, it feels like there is still something missing. All you can really do is just wait and see I guess....but at least it's not causing you depression like it is with me...

 

I think that's quite normal - it happened to me too...

The way I've come to understand is like this - it would really help if you watched the US Drama series "House": One character has a "bad leg" - he's a real asshole all the time; doesn't care about anybody. In one episode, he is shot. After waking from surgery, he is told that new research from Germany was used on him during the surgery that could restore the "life" to the dead muscle in his leg.

When he gets pissed off that people fiddled with him, his best friend retorts: He basically said that he (Dr. House) was just upset because he's taught himself that being a cripple was part of who he was. Living with it for years... that just consciously and sub-consciously happened. House's friend goes on to say that 1 in 1000 AIDS tests are incorrect - so what happens is patients go home preparing a life leading to death, then when they survive and have another test and find out, years after, that they're ok, they actually become depressed - their identity (to them) seems to have changed.

This could be the case with you - you've grown accustomed to the fact that this part of your life "had to be hidden". I feel that's what happened to me - I came out at 16 as well.

Of course, this may not necessarily be the reason... I'm just offering an alternative to the other options people have given you =) Hope I helped!

 

Good relation Cam, and I remember that episode End of Season 2

 

You've held on to this part of yourself for how many years?
There is a sort of...excitment about keeping secrets, maybe that is what you feel is missing, but trust me it is no where near as great a feeling then having people accept you for who you really are.