1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

dad

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lordjord96, Oct 25, 2009.

  1. lordjord96

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2008
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    milton keynes.
    my mum and dad are split up (from november last year). He says he going to poland for some work training...but i have his laptop for the week. so i searched his pictures and i saw some of this landy sitting on a bench possing and poland (in polish) next to her. other pictures of her is at london and nottingham forest.
    iv told my mum shes angry as anyone could be, me and my brother are angry. i dont know to tell my dad about her or not? mum has already told my grandad about loads of things that :***: basterd has done like applide for a job in afganistan and paying my mum £20 pound a week. but this, really pisses me off so much. should i tell him?
     
  2. BasketCase

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2009
    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    If they are split up then I dont understand why it is a problem that he has pictures of another woman on his laptop?

    Applying for a job in Afghanistan, not something I would do, but why is it a problem?

    The £20 thing, I assume that is some sort of financial support, if so then I would agree that that is not enough to be paying and that he should be putting a bit more towards support.

    As for telling him, you probably should own up, assuming that its not going to put you in any physical danger etc.
     
  3. x2x2x2x2y2

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    2,326
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wonderland (and California, USA)
    What they ^ said. If they're getting divorced then why shouldn't he have pics of other girls?
     
  4. s5m1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Messages:
    800
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    Your mother and father's relationship is between the two of them. You should stay out of it. They are both your parents and both love you. Don't take sides.

    You also should not be snooping around hs laptop. How would you feel if he invaded your privacy by doing the same thing to you?
     
  5. Ben

    Ben
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Messages:
    1,301
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm thinking the same thing. It has been a year, so he might be seeing someone else but maybe he hasn't told you because he thought you'd take it badly or is waiting to see where the relationship (if there is one) goes first.

    You can tell him if you're upset about him possibly lying about going on a business trip then you two can talk things over, if you think it will help.
     
  6. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think it' s always difficult when your parents split up and you see one of them starting in a new relationship, because in a way that sort of becomes the final straw; you are forced out of your denial, and you realize that it is unlikely they will get back together. So this applies both to your mom and to you.

    Your dad may not feel comfortable yet in saying that there's another person he's interested in. He may not have met this person, he may not know it will work out, etc. so he doesn't yet feel ok sharing the info. But it sounds like he is trying to move on with his life and has figured out that, for him at least, the relationship with your mom is over and isn't going to work for him.

    Whether or not you tell him is up to you; he will probably feel that his privacy is being violated, in that he probably didn't expect that you would go snooping around his laptop, but perhaps he might feel relieved that you know and he didn't have to bring it up.

    I would suggest that it might be beneficial for both you and your mom (and your dad, too, if he is local) to go to therapy and get a little help in understanding the divorce and learning how to move through and let go of the anger. You both have every right to be upset, but at a certain point, you need to move beyond the situation and your mom would do well to start thinking about a future where she can be happy without him.

    I hope that helps.
     
  7. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    651
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Actually I think if anyone needs to see a therapist might be your mother... He moved on.