Hello, I have this very weird problem going on. I am only 14 years of age and I am positive that I am gay. I have a crush on this guy, and he talks to me, I look away, and tries to get eye contact with me and my heart starts to beat fast, the only thing I can do is blush and walk away. And after that, I always regret for not talking to him. There is this problem where he takes off his clothes to change for sports, I... can't resist him :icon_redf. Well, but that is not the problem. The thing is, I think I have this crush on a girl. Is this normal? I mean, I am pretty sure that I am gay. But, I can talk to her easily and I get this feeling which I cannot really explain. It is like, a warm and loving feeling. I feel really happy being with her and I keep thinking of asking her out but... I don't think I can. I do not really get sexually aroused by girls. Well, maybe not yet. I need some advice on this :S I am gay, have a crush on a guy. And think I have a crush on this girl. This is all so confusing!:tears: Oh and also, I never told anyone I am gay.
Its a confusing time when you are not sure whether you like guys, girls, or both. It is possible, I believe, to be attracted emotionally to a girl while having no sexual interest whatsoever. It would be wrong IMO to ask her out if this is the case with you, unless that is, you are completely up front about things and she is happy to go along with it. At the end of the day, you cant choose how you feel, its something that will evolve and hopefully become clearer in your mind as time passes.
Honestly I've had crushes on a few girls but I think they were more like friend crushes. Like I just wanted to be around her but not actually be with her. I think it's kinda like a Gay version of a 'man crush'.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pamgat1Wro[/YOUTUBE] ya, like this. liking someone a real lot doesn't necessarily mean you want to be 'with' them in a partnership sense.
When you're 14 it's normal to not be certain about your sexuality. You don't need to label yourself as anything yet, and you don't have to try and bend yourself out of shape to fit a label - if you mostly like guys but like the occasional girl, that's totally fine, that's just who you are. Sexuality isn't divided into "100% straight" "bisexual with 50% preference either way" and "100% gay" - most people are somewhere in between.
Do you always have a tougher time talking to guys rather than talking to girls? I feel that way, especially if I'm talking to a guy, that I find hot. Then I often have problems with finding the right words and I look away most of the time, which makes me look like I'm not interested at all when it's not the case at all. I don't thinks it's abnormal at all. Even though I describe myself as being gay there can exceptions some times. Maybe you should make this as your goal: Whenever you see him/talk to him, see if you can make eye contact with him and smile to him. It's a way of telling someone that you're appreciating him/her without saying it, which is great if you're shy or a bit unsure of how you feel. Practise looking him in his eyes and when youy feel you have control of that, move on to the next step, which is talking to him. I hope it goes well and good luck
Remember that, quite often, words are what you make of them. I consider myself to be a lesbian despite having plenty of crushes on guys. The difference is that guys don't quite make my heart flutter like girls do, and I can't imagine going beyond a strong friendship with any of them. You'll learn who you like in due time; there's no rush to settle down with "I like guys" or "I like girls" yet. Just let the emotions take you. And welcome to EC!!
Maddening, isn't it? Sexuality really is a very confusing thing. I've heard a multitude of opinions, thoughts and experiences on the matter, and very little of what people have told me has helped me to sort out my own feelings toward men and women. You might consider the possibility that you're bisexual. I was certain that I was straight until I was...about 22? That, and it's certainly possible to be gay and still be attracted to the opposite sex. It's also very easy to mistake certain feelings for attraction, such as admiration. I haven't made things any easier for you, have I? It isn't always easy, but give it time. As time passes you'll learn more and more what you're into and what you're not. Self discovery can be a rewarding experience (it certainly has been for me), and it's a path that has no end.
