Okay well, I'm planning the order in which I should come out to people. There's my best friend, who I'm going to try my best to come out to this weekend. Then there are some of my friends at school who are already friends with another gay kid, so they should be no problem, right? But, here's the thing, my twin brother and little sister will be in the same school, and if they know, my mom might find out. My little sister has spent the past 3 days watching the seasons of Will & Grace (and quoting it all day), so she might be okay. I don't know about my brother, but unless he turns to physical violence, which I really don't see happening, I don't have a problem with him. My older sister doesn't live with us anymore, but she's the family member I feel most comfortable coming out to right now, but she might slip it to my mom on accident, because she is kind of ditzy. I was just wondering if anyone had some thoughts about it. I really feel comfortable coming out to friends first, but you know word travels fast in schools.
Well, if you feel that if you can trust your friends to keep it a secret, make sure they know not to spread it, then by all means go for it. I've told a few friends at school - and to my knowledge, they haven't told a soul.
hmmmm... coming out is always better then being outed so it might be best to come out to your entire family at once. If you dont want to and decide to tell your siblings then you should repeatedly ask them to keep a secret. You say your little sister is watching Will & Grace and really liking it. She may be excited that your gay and want to tell people so you might want to give her some time. And if you tell some people from your school expect the entire school to know in a matter of days. Word travels fast so be ready.
Great thoughts, guys. I just went to www.familyacceptance.org and found it extremely helpful. I would like to just walk into my mom's room and be like "I'm gay." Then bring up the site, and ask her to read all of it, and then we can talk. Who knows if she'd do it or not, but I feel that the woman there is a lot like my mother. My mother is always talking spiritually to family. I sometimes think she's only religious when it suits her purposes, but then I rethink it and know that it's bull. I think that site could help her immensely. Once my best friend and her know, I think I could just tell everyone and not care about whoever else knew. Although I sometimes have trouble with my mom, I love her completely, and I hope she can do the same for me.
I am in the middle of the process that you are going through. I told my best friend first. I knew I could trust her and she has been really supportive. Coming out to my parents was one of the hardest things I have ever done (not that I regret it, I feel relieved), but I couldnt have done it with out the support of my best friend at my side. Tell your best friend, then your parents and go from there. Your family should hear it from you, not some exaggerated rumor. Anyway, good luck. -Bryan PS- I came out exactally how you planned, I walked in to my moms room and I said Hi and she was like Hi. Then I said, "Im gay". (Just be prepared to answer all of the little stupid questions)
You sound like you and your older sister are close, and if that's the person you feel most comfortable talking to about this, why not try? I know I'm not really out yet either, but personally I believe that you need to start with the most understanding people, and work your way down to the not so understanding people. I think it would make the whole coming out process a lot easier. Is your mom the type of person who listens to other's advice and such? Do you think she would be willing to view and maybe even use some of the material on that website in this situation? If not, then maybe that isn't the best idea. But I don't know her, so you have to judge for yourself.
Thanks Bryan, it's good to know that I'm not being totally dumb about this. Thanks for your advice, too, Time. I don't know if my mom takes advice. Sometimes, if you present stuff to her, she'll sit there for a while, and think about it. Then, she'll say something like, "Okay, that makes sense." On a side note, I just walked into my little sister's room (she's still watching Will & Grace), and proceeded to pretend to steal her milk. Only I decided to add a stupid song to it. I'm not flamboyant in the least, but I do sing stupid songs some times. After I had finished the song, she was like "Are you sure you're not gay?" I just smiled and put her milk down, made some general comment and got out of there. I want to tell, but she doesn't need to be first.
Wow someone else from Oklahoma! Welcome to EC! Ok I think you should come out to the friends you are closest to and can trust. telling your good friends first can give you the support you need to tell other people. coming out to your family is likely the hardest thing you will have to do. You will know when you are ready. When you come out to your family keep in mind that you might not get the reaction you want. they will likely need some time to get used to you being gay. try to be patient. good luck.
