This Boy Is So CONFUSING

Hmm interesting...this guy could be trying to make you jealous by going out with someone else, or maybe he wants to just brag...Or maybe he just misunderstood you for not going out with him. These are many possibilities. You say that he sounded really sweet online, and what about now? Do you still talk to him? He could be totally faking it, and since you have never met him, you have no idea what he is like in person.

Maybe you should talk to him some more and see what he's like...feel him out a while longer and if he wants to meet up again, do it. If he doesn't seem to be interested anymore, than forget him. He's a jerk.

 

I can almost relate. I handle things differently, and I don't show I'm nervous when I really am. I usualy have oral anxiety (thanks popboy for the term) when I meet someone for the first time. Also I can't shut up, I need to fill evey single second with words. That's when I'm nervous, but I don't usually let it interfere with things... just a first impression.

I don't know many gay guys... actually I only met one that I know for sue is gay (again waves at popboy)... but I have my suspicions about a gew guys... and a friend said he'd introduce me to someone (yeah, I told him I was gay and the next day he was trying to get mi a boyfriend... he's just so sweet... xD)... but that's it, I don't know many gay people, and one of my greatest fears is that I won't act as i'm supposed to, specially if I meet someone with more experience. My greatest flaw is my oversized ego and Pride (yeah, with capital P), and I know I won't be able to tell someone: look, I have no experience, and the thought of them realizing that is scarier than I care to admit.

Anyway, this shouldn't be about me... I just thouth It would be good for you to know that you are not alone out there.

Most of all, universe has a way to balance itself, everything works out in the end if you don't mess up.

You shouldn't worry (and this will sound hypocrit) about not having experience and seeming immature, and specially you shouldn't be ashamed of being jealous... it's completely normal (except for that neurotic jealousy some guys have...).

Just try to look elsewhere... (yeah, that's hyprocrital coming from me, given the fact that I still have a crush on the same guy... obviously i wasn't over it... don't know why I was decieing myself)

 

All I can say is that people are different in person from their online personas. Don't enter into a meeting with ANY expectations. There is a very good chance that you could meet, and not get along at all.

BUT, that being said, good luck with everything.

 

First, don't play hard to get. The problem is right in the expression: "play." Dating is not a game and it does neither you nor the person you're interacting with any good to pretend to be less/more <fill in the blank> than you are. It just starts things off on shaky footing. If you are into someone, let them know. If you aren't, ditto. Learn to be honest about your feelings now because you don't want to turn around 10 years later and try to figure out then what's going on inside of you and how to express it.

Second, don't beat yourself up for being inexperienced. All of us have been at one point or another. I don't think it's that common for two people who end up together to have the same amount of experience. If you're serious about the guy, let him know you feel a little out of your league. Yes, that's hard because it requires being vulnerable but any decent relationship requires that kind of vulnerability and personally I think you can tell a lot about someone quite quickly by how they react to your difficult revelations, so it serves two purposes to be honest about stuff like this: a screening process and (hopefully) a bonding process. At the end of the day, you need to be able to talk to someone you're dating about stuff like this.

It was tacky of the guy to mention he was going out on a date with another person. That being said, some people take dating more seriously than others and it's possible in his mind what he said was no big deal. I would definitely fall into your camp of not wanting to know but some people are very "water off a duck's back" about relationships, dating, and life. Basically the only way you can sort out stuff like this is (again) by being willing enough to be vulnerable to say something about it. If you can't figure out a way to bring it up in a non-threatening manner, don't worry: being honest about being hurt about something is one of the very hardest things in life to do, and even with practice and time, it still doesn't always work out so sometimes it pays to work on letting certain things, that aren't patterned repeated behaviour, go.

At this stage, given you haven't met the guy, trying to explain that you felt hurt by him mentioning his other date is probably not worth the emotional effort on your part. But if things get more serious and similar thoughtlessness keeps happening, you'll want to speak up.

One of the hardest things to do, no matter what your experience level is, is to put yourself out there and risk being hurt. At the same time, nothing terribly worthwhile happens in life unless you face this challenge. Waiting for him to contact you might be quite frustrating--maybe it's time to take the initiative and drop him a line?

 

LOL! go paul go!