So this is my first time ever coming to anyone for help. i have been so deep in the closet that every time i try to make a small step out i run right back in. I have never said the words I'm gay to anyone and it is eating me alive. I have become very unhappy with this fake straight life. I have know I was gay since I can remember but when I was younger I thought it would go away like a cold. I should not be ashamed of being gay but i am. I even have trouble admiting it to myself. Thank you for any help you can give me!!!
Have you got one person you can come out to? I'm still deeply in the closet but coming out to my brother felt immensely satisfying. You might enjoy the experience of just opening up to one person.
that sucks and i understand since i go back in forth in hating im gay then liking it well it's tolerable right now, but i wish i was at least bi to fit in better. Well is it at a crying stage, since crying helps me a lot when I build it up enough. Then I am okay, then I listen to music and fall asleep.
Have you even said that you are gay out loud to yourself? It took me a while before I was able to do that. But listen, you need to be happy with who you are. For starts, just tell yourself, out loud, "I am gay, and I am a good person." Even if being gay is not what you would have picked out (I'm not sure anyone is overly excited when they come to the realization they're gay) you need to gradually come to accept it, and you can do that by admitting that you are both gay, and a good person. With time, when you realize that you're a fundamentally good person despite the fact that you are attracted to the same sex, you won't be ashamed or worried about what other people think of you. (*hug*)
If you're not ready to come out yet, don't force yourself to. I really like Kevin42's suggestion - stand in front of a mirror, and tell yourself "I'm gay". Coming out to yourself and coming to terms with your own sexuality is the first and most important step, and coming out to other people is a lot more difficult when you don't have that grounding within yourself. It takes time to accept your sexuality, but it does happen. (*hug*)
This post helped me a lot when I was in that situation. I have never been fully okay with my sexuality. I just understand it for what it is, and accept that I cannot change it. That is from the post I linked above. I say that over and over to myself most every day. All I really can do is continue to come to terms with it. You'll come out to someone when you're good and ready. Even coming on this site was a great step in the right direction.
it does help to have at least some one to talk to...but you do also need to work things out for yourself, but if you have someone in your life that you love and trust with all your heart i think that if they feel the same way that they will understand and may be able to talk with you and help you you work stuff out...but good luck with your figuring out what going on...this place is an awesome resource to help sort things out...and if you want to talk to some faceless name feel free to pm me...
Hi there and welcome to EC. You've come to the right place. As stated above, you can't change the fact that you're gay. All you can do is change your attitude towards that fact. Hanging out here will help - because we're pretty darn awesome. And you'll start to associate 'gay' with 'awesome' in no time! Only when you can be positive about it should you bother coming out to other people. But you've already come out to us - and we understand if you're not really thrilled with the idea. Not many of us were. But take it from me - when you get beyond the fear and the doubt and can accept it as it is, you'll feel amazing. I do. Good luck - and again, welcome to EC!
Well then more hugs are in order. (*hug*) Seriously, this IS the best place to talk. If I hadn't been surfing this site when I told my parents, I would have regretted the entire experience and fucked it all up. Its an INSTANT support network, because we've almost all been there, save a lucky few. If anything, it allowed me to vent all the angry and violent baggage I've accumulated over the years from not only being closeted but also living in a dysfunctional family. My friend helped over the summer, but EC is so pleasant and open and bereft of flame wars and intolerance...you feel at home, you feel safe. So welcome again. (*hug*)(*hug*)
Hi there! Welcome to EC! A lot of us have been there, that's for sure. And a lot of people here are where you are right now, so please know that you're not alone (*hug*) and that we know how you feel. I know the idea of coming out to people seems impossible, and I know it's a scary idea, but trust me, 99% of the reason why coming out is so difficult is because of this fear. While the hardest people to come out to were the first three or four, everyone after that may be easier to come out to, but I always get a little fearful before I tell them, even now. And NONE of them reacted badly. In fact, if you're coming out to someone who already knows and loves you, coming out to them will change nothing about your relationship with them!
I know how you feel, as I'm sure a lot of people here do. I was locked in that closet for over 13 years. This may sound kind of dumb, but it worked for me. Look at yourself in the mirror, I mean really look, and say "I'm gay." It's sort of a coming out to yourself thing. The closet is lonly place and a lot scarier then being out here with the rest of us, I mean there are spider and stuff in there.
