just something i been wondering lately... i have know for almost five years or so im bi (Or gay idk xD) and during that time i always promised to myself "when i get a boyfriend the first thing ill do is come out to my family" that "happened" about a month a go...and at that time the promise changed to "ill come out when im in love with him" and i know that if that ocurred then ill would change that once again ... idk how to aproach them with the theme...or what i would tell them (given that im not sure if im bi or gay) at least i know that one of them is not gonna freak out or anything (my sis has two gay friends) and i have read lots of times over here about a letter but... i dont know then it would be weird when i saw them again when i was with him i felt so terrible because i felt like i was doing something wrong to them or something u_u
Aw (*hug*) I know what it's like to feel like you're doing something wrong. I know you know that you're not, and just feel that way, but for the record: you're not doing anything wrong If your sister has gay friends, maybe it'd be best to talk to her one on one and tell her before anyone else. It's always best to choose the person who you think will take it the best for the first person you come out to. And while you could write a letter, I highly recommend doing it in person. You're telling her something very important about yourself, and you'll also be able to talk about it if you do it in person. You don't have to, though, that's just my suggestion. Your sister loves you no matter what ^^ knowing that you're gay won't change your relationship with her! The same goes for the rest of your family too, but coming out to your sister first seems like a good idea to me.
i know im not u_u but the liying part sure felt like it i have thought that it was best to start with her...but i dont know how i could do it =_= i mean it would just be so out of the blue with her... *sighs*
Most of the time I came out, it was out of the blue. At first, I would build up the courage while I was with the person and then tell them at a calm moment that I had something important to tell them about myself, and then come out. Later, I'd specifically go to someone and say, "hey, could I talk to you for a minute? There's something important I'd like to tell you, about myself." With my brother and sister, I think I just ambushed them in a normal conversation and said, "hey, did you know that I'm bisexual?" I came out to everyone as bisexual, even though I'm pretty sure I'm gay now. I figured at the time that I wasn't sure which I was, and I figured that bisexual would be easier for people to take. Turns out that people who care about you will still care about you no matter how you come out to them ^^
Things rarely go ask planned, but that is the way of the world. You put off telling your family by saying when I get a BF I'll tell them, now you're at that point and it hit you like a ton a bricks. Well, don't beat yourself up. It's hard telling your family your different then they imgined you were, or so that voice in the back of your head says. The truth is you're not different, sure something in your life has changed, but you're still that same kid that grew up in their house. Point is: there is no right or wrong way and no right and wrong time. Come to terms with being gay first then worry about telling your family. Keep on truckin there pal, and give my best to the BF. :smilewave
I think it'll come out of the blue most of the times when you come out. Even if you do plan it's not likely that you're going to stick completely to the planning, which is okay I think one of the most important things to remember is, that you should only come out when you're comfortable with it. You'll know when you're ready to do it, and when you feel that, then come out. Maybe your sister should be the first one you come out to. But remember it's all your choice. I hope it all goes well for you
