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Have you ever WANTED to break down and cry?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BasketCase, Oct 29, 2009.

  1. BasketCase

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    I know its a strange thing to ask but I wanted to ask anyway.

    For the last year or so I have consciously been trying to improve my life through taking small steps in the right direction. I've been succesful in changing some things, mainly work related, though less successful in other areas.

    What has struck me though is that at no point during this time have I ever shed a tear. A few weeks ago I passed up a great opportunity to engage with other gay people in a relaxed and 'safe' setting. Having passed it up I felt absolutely crushed for a period of days before I lifted out of that.

    Despite that feeling of dismay I didnt cry, I wanted to, and the emotional state I was in probably warranted it, but I just didnt cry.

    Sometimes I feel like I just need to break down and sob to myself for a while. To outwardly show how I feel inside. It just doesnt happen and I stupidly think, at times, that it means my emotions arent real.

    Anyone else wanted to cry but just never cried?:confused:
     
  2. Ralphtruco

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    first of all :confused: what do you mean by "engage"?
    and, i know its sound pathetic >_>... but i have...i always told myself that that boy it isnt worth crying or getting so depressed about...but i have wanted to cry :S lots
    then again xD something so horrible happened like..um yesterday and there i did cry...
    and i dont think that ur emotions arent real because of that xD
     
  3. Just Adam

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    i break down on a daily basis everytime i think of specific things
     
  4. Steam Giant

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    Ooooooh yeah. Crying is a HUGE release, and if I could do it on command, heh jeez I'd be doing it like every third day! But yeah, I generally can't cry, and I really wish I could. I even had major problems with depression before and very rarely cried during that time too. So yeah, totally agreed with you there.
     
  5. BasketCase

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    I mean engage in its normal everday use:

    1. To involve oneself or become occupied; participate

    I've no gay friends but had the opportunity to be part of a group and potentially make some. Nothing sinister or kinky about what I mean by 'engage'.
     
  6. Jiggles

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    Somehow i manage to do it daily and its horrible! :frowning2:
     
  7. Ralphtruco

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    and in a just friends way or more than that? (like relantionship)?
     
  8. SailingKoala

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    Hey I try not to cry, but when I get too emotional I can't stop myself - but other times when I feel I should be feeling something I just feel detached and lost because everyone else is so upset and I am just numb...

    But like others have said it can be a great release..
     
  9. revolutionrock

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    I am in the same situation. I didn't even cry when I was outed to my family and I had envisioned myself being hysterical whenever I thought about telling them.

    It is like I can't cry. I guess I am just too level-headed...? I think it would be an awesome release (especially given my lack of crying, like, ever), but nothing seems to stimulate it. Although I do have moments, mostly when I think about money and school and stuff, when I am almost on the verge. I think there is trouble a-brewing.

    But I don't know how to do it. I get so down sometimes, but my tear ducts are just as unaffected as ever. I'm glad I'm not alone in my inability to emote this way. :slight_smile:
     
  10. malachite

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    I've been there. In fact I was a few days ago. I thought I'd feel better if I had a good cry, but the tears never seem to come. It's been like that for years now.
     
  11. Kizz

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    I have wanted to break down ALL the time.
    I just learned to try to live with it.

    guess this current stage of lonliness is the main problem, but I'm not open, and it's hard to see everyone around you with their GF/BF. it's natural to me.
     
  12. NateDawg

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    I could cry riht now.......
     
  13. Lexington

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    We all deal with our emotions in our own way. Some people cry at the drop of a hat, and other people can't cry even if they desperately want to. I'm more in the latter category. Once, I actually pulled over while driving because, for whatever reason, the planets aligned when a song came on the radio, and it made me start crying.

    What song? "Basket Case". Not kidding. :slight_smile:

    If you can't cry, don't beat yourself up about it. Feel free to let your emotions out other ways if you'd like. Scream, punch your pillows, kick the bed, go for a run.

    Lex
     
  14. Filip

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    I don't think I've ever cried in the last 17 or 18 years...
    There has been a few times when I really wanted to, but the most I ever get is that my eyes become slightly moist. I just don't seem to be able to do it. Maybe if I had someone's shoulder to do the crying on, but so far I haven't tested that yet.

    Never think that not crying makes your feelings less sincere or less real, however. While I've never actually been in the head of a different person to feel how they feel, I'm sure that crying or not, all people fundamentally feel the same things.

    Also, even if you didn't engage with other gay people, you at last thought of it! So that is already a good step forward! So therre's not need to feel bad over it anyway!
     
  15. Just Adam

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    been there this morning... good start to the day realising just how disgusting a creature you are...kepping my record intact it would seem of doing this everyday...


    what a life :frowning2:
     
  16. BasketCase

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    I'm glad, in a sense, that I am not alone in this. Its obvious that none of us want to have a reason to cry but that we wish sometimes we were able to when unfortunate or sad things happen.

    Lex - There are songs that inspire in me the feeling of wanting to cry, U2's 'One' for example, but there is no song that actually brings me to tears. My physical expression of emotion is usually to punch a wall, not good, sore sometimes, but its a temporary release at times.

    Filip - I do know that my feelings are real but its just that I need to remind myself sometimes. I too can get my eyes moist but that's as far as it goes. I get your point about wanting to engage being a good thing and its still something I want to do and have a chance of doing in a week or so.

    Ralph - by friend I mean just that, friendship.
     
  17. Just Adam

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    you really arent alone.
     
  18. JayTeeNY12

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    Whenever I feel like breaking down and crying the tears never come. Its very annoying, but happens I suppose. I don't really know how to explain how I get through those moments because honestly I'm not sure myself. They're tough. You just need to stay strong.
     
  19. JakeBHT

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  20. GoBabyGoGo

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    right now ;(