Virgin over here

I know in TV and movies people don't usually talk and show how just seem to hit the magic spot automatically, but it doesn't work that way in real life, and I don't think say "yeah f:***: me" is sexy at all, in fact it's laughable.

you can tell the person you like what they are doing. Do people talk during sex? sometimes.

Most important: don't do anything you're not ready to and be safe!

Oh and have fun too.

 

I'm a virgin as well, but I'm passing along info I've gotten from friends....

As for reciprocity, it depends on your partner. Some people only like to give, others only like to receive, some are nice enough to do both. I imagine that, were I to have sex (I'm asexual), I'd be too bothered by it to receive and would be perfectly happy to be that guy in the bar just giving. Some people will be totally vocal with what they want.

Some people have pretty anonymous hookups (going to stick my disclaimer and ask that you keep it safe!) that don't involve much talking. I've heard of couples who dirty talk and others who carry on nearly-normal conversations during it. (The last one seems pretty rare.)

 

This is going to sound like the general advice given on almost any subject, but it's because it works. Just let things happen naturally. Some people talk, others don't. The dynamics with each person are different. If you don't like the sound of dirty talk, don't say anything dirty. If it turns you on, then use it (but be wary of how your partner feels.)

 

as for porn to sex comparisons, in real life i assume theres more helpfull hints rather than 'yeah fuck me' perhaps hints like 'a bit to the left' or something?
as for talking in sex, never do the british thing and discuss the weather

 

^yeah mostly just the helpful tips during it. or what to do next. talking about other things can get kinda awkward lol.

 

Hi there. Welcome to EC.

Reading your post and about your one experience thus far, it sounds like it was a rather anonymous encounter. From the 'been there, done that' file, my first experiences were also rather anonymous - because those were the only kind of 'gay' activities that I was exposed to or heard about.

Now that I'm on the other side of that, I'll tell you that those aren't the best or most healthy kinds of sexual encounters. Some people get a thrill out of them - but it tends to further encourage the secrecy around being gay - and it's 'OK' and cool to stay in the closet.

So I'd say that you should be able to talk during sex - and that likely requires you being comfortable with the guy that you're with. Being comfortable should mean being with him for sex as well as being with him for a coffee or going to a movie. If it's someone you've arranged to meet at a public park via a hookup site, then you likely aren't going to feel comfortable talking with him, or going to a movie.

The good news though - just hang out here in EC and get comfortable with your orientation. Again - welcome!

 

when i was with my ex, we didnt have sex sex, just oral and sometimes if a movie was playing in the background wed make a comment about that and giggle a little. when i first became sexual with him, i felt awkward and even turned him down the first time. but after it wasnt such a big deal.

and comparing real life sex to porn is crazy. the ppl on porn make having oral sex look easy... u have to put in more effort than that! lol

 

For me, sex involves a great deal of communication. It can be tender and loving, playful, or hot and steamy. Not every session is the same as the last one or the next. Therefore, the type and amount of communication will vary. There are some basic themes that apply, though. Let your partner know what does and does not feel good. Similarly, find out what he is enjoying. If something makes you uncomfortable, such as a leg cramp, say so. If something feels really good, let him know. If you love him, say it. If you want it done harder or softer, say so. Tell him to slow down so you don’t cum so fast. Openly communicating will greatly enhance the experience for both of you.

Also remember that people communicate non-verbally, as well. The way you touch him, the way his body moves, the rhythm of your breath, the way he looks into your eyes – these are all forms of communication without ever saying a word. Be conscious of these things.

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin or inexperienced. We all start there at some point. Just let your partner know, communicate openly and enjoy!

 

Hi! I just had [anal] sex for the first time not too long ago. I was super nervous about it. My boyfriend and I (sorry if this is TMI) had been doing oral/jacking off/making out naked for a long time. So to make the "jump" to anal sex was really natural, not awkward, we had great communication, and was perfect . It didn't hurt, and I think that's because he knows wtf he is doing and we communicated. I think talking about it is crucial - and SAFE. Because condoms are a must =).