Is it wrong to settle for things in life?

I don't think there's anything wrong with settling for something. When it comes to a friendship, they may not be the best person at the time but that friendship can definitely become stronger and one day you may be the best of friends.

With a relationship, that might be slightly different. I know how it feels to really want a boyfriend. But just settling with any guy and not having any attraction could end up hurting the both of you. There should at least be some sort of attraction between you.

 

people who are with each other for the sake of it and not based on love is no relationship at all its just having a shadow and it leads to cheating and loads of bad things...

the problem is if you have no hope of finding love and jsut want to settle you have to think would someone want to settle with you..would someone really want that?

or if your the type who are like me and dont think you can be loved and cant get someone to settle eitherway then what does it matter.

but you are really young and you can meet people anywhere dont give up...

 

>>>Is it really ok to just settle for people/things? In relationships? Friendships? School? Anything really?

Depends on what you mean by "settle".

Let's pick a dream guy for you, just for sake of argument. He's six feet tall, muscular, hot as hell, athletic, smart, and loves almost all the stuff you do. Now say a guy comes along that fits your dream guy definition to an absolute T...EXCEPT he's only five foot six. Or isn't a big fan of your favorite band. If you start dating him, have you "settled"? Hardly. I think you're being realistic. You realize that your dream guy is just that - a dream - and as long as you click with this guy, there's nothing wrong with dating a guy who isn't your dream.

Now say there's a guy who fits many or most of your dream-guy characteristics...but he's an asshole. He likes to demean you, insists that you fit into his schedule, and doesn't want you around when he's "hanging with my REAL friends". Dating HIM would be settling. And settling for a guy who isn't worth it.

The main things is - do you click with this guy? Do you like being with him, and does he like being with you? If you're ever thinking "This guy will do until somebody better comes along"...just wait until somebody better comes along.

Friendships are different, because we can have a lot of them. And they don't have to be full-on "BFF"-type friendships. For example, I have a friend that I pretty much ONLY talk music to. I certainly consider him a friend, but we don't hang out all that much. He's one of the first people I think of if I have an extra concert ticket, but I wouldn't even consider him for an extra sporting event ticket. This doesn't mean I don't like him, or I'm stringing him along. That's just as far as I think either of us want to take the friendship, and that's totally cool. I have other friends that I can go to sporting events with, or hang out with on weekends, or talk to about my problems. I don't think I've "settled" on this guy.

In school? Again, different situation. Stick with your principles. It's tough to give specific advice without a specific example, but in general, it's best to remain true to yourself.

Lex

 

As Lex said, some component of being realistic, and it depends, when it comes to relationships. It is definitely settling if you thing "Better him than no one"

There's all sorts of "re-adjustment of expectations to be more realistic" in life. From a young age you're fed a sugar-coated version of the world where you can do "whatever you set your mind to", and you'll always find the man/woman of your dreams and live happily ever after.

Truth is if you go you University, expect 4 years of hair-pulling hell where you're supposed to do nonsense assigned by overpaid professors that have non-existent communication skills whose only goal in life is to secure grant money.

Once you graduate you're not going to get a "dream job", you'll be lucky to get something in your field at all.

Next because the university didn't extract enough money from you, the alumni association will start harassing you asking for money saying "Remember how tough things were when you were a student?"

 

>>>But is it settling if he fits some of the things but you really think that there will be someone better.

Forget better. Answer the question "Do I like this guy? Do I want to be with him?" If the answer is "yes", then go for it.

Lex

 

Well, in my opinion, the question you should be asking yourself is do you want to be with them even without that physical attraction? If your answer is yes then you're not settling, and you should be happy that you can be with them, but if you can't see yourself with them without that physical connection, then you'd be doing so much harm to yourself to stay with them.

 

The physical attraction bit is kind of a sticky widget...

Given what's been said, I'm guessing this guy doesn't have that "dream" body that you want. Ok, got it.

Next-Is he someone you find UNattractive physically? If yes, simply put, that's going to be a problem. Although sex certainly is not the be-all and end-all of a relationship, it usually is a sufficiently significant portion that if it's not present, the relationship will eventually run into trouble.

Or, is he not your dreamboat, but he's not UNattractive either? In this case, it can work. Even if you don't think he's dreamy, you can still find him attractive enough to make it work, and in a case like this, that attraction will grow stronger as you get to know him and fall in love with him and bond with him.

Like Lex said, worry less about whether your cock immediately springs up as soon as he walks into the room and more about how compatible you are and if you can make each other happy. As long as his presence won't make your already-hard cock limp as wet spagetti, you'll be ok.