Tonight my brother called me and told me that he is getting remarried. Its the second marriage for both of them. It's going to be a small affair with 25 people. Its going to be at a restaurant with a justice of the peace. He told me that I could bring my bf. I asked if it would be awkward for him and he said it would not. I talked to my parents and my mom said she would be fine with him being there and my dad said it would be up to us The thing is, its going to be on the 28th of this month and the only people I have not come out to in my family is my aunt and grandma. I have been planning to tell them soon because of the holidays. I want my bf to be there. He is a big part of my life and I love him. There are two things that I am thinking about. One is like I said above is that I need to come out to my aunt and grandma and two no one has met him. Do you think a family wedding would be a proper time to introduce him to my family? As my brother said we won't be the center of attention, my brother and gf will. Also would it be too soon to introduce him to my and and grandma after I come out to them (probably sometime this week)?
Is there going to be any rehearsal dinners or anything of that sort prior to the actual wedding? If so, that might be a better time to introduce him to your family, but I really don't see why it would be a bad time at a wedding either.
A few years ago, one of my friend who is a lesbian introduced her then girlfriend to her family during her brother's wedding, and everything went very well. So, I think it could be a good occasion to introduce your boyfriend to your family.
as long as they all remember the day isnt about you so they should just leave it and be happy for your bro then any difficulty should be fine...guilt trips are a neccisary evil at times but i think youll be fine im sure they will just like the fact your happy
I think it would be the perfect opportunity. If they're all (well, minus a few) already aware you're gay, then the introduction is bound to happen sometime, and what better time to do it than when everyone is together and generally in a good mood? I don't think that introducing your aunt and grandmother to your boyfriend after just a week is necessarily to soon. When you come out to them, the topic of boyfriends might come up and you could tell them then. That way they already know he'll be there.
I think you handled this with the utmost courtesy by asking your brother and immediate family first. No one else has an issue with it, so why should you? You have set out on a new path in life living honestly, without hiding who you are. No reason to break from that path now. You can talk to your aunt and grandma ahead of time or just show up and say hi. Whichever way you chose, I suggest you just go and enjoy the wedding with your BF.
I just got off the phone with my bf. He is very flattered that he was invited. He said he needs to think about it. I knew he would say that. He is very deliberate and thinks things through before acting. That is just the way he is. I am fine with this. From talking to him I told him that I want him to be comfortable with meeting my family in this setting.If he says no for some reason, I will understand.
Second that! I hope he decides to accompany you to the wedding. I think it's a great idea and it would be great if you two could go together.
I don't know if this was already said, but you should come out to your aunt and grandmother sometime before. Because I feel like it would put your boyfriend in an awkward position if you didn't.
I don't know just how close you are to your aunt & grandma - but perhaps this might be a reason to contact them prior to the ceremony and let then know that there is something about you that most of the family already know - but for which you have been waiting for the 'right' time to tell them. Perhaps you could go on and say that you really want to bring this out into the open with them now, because the rest of the family are fine with it. You could make the point that you want the day to be totally and solely about your brother and his partner's wedding - so you want to let them know that your brother has invited yourself and your partner to the wedding - and that your parents are aware and totally OK with it. In order to make sure that there are no 'awkward moments' you also wish to let them know that your partner, for whom you care a great deal, is a guy. It just happens that you have acknowledged that you like guys rather than girls - and given the importance of the ceremony - and the fact that there should not be anything to take away from the happiness of the bride & groom, you want to let them know now, rather than 'springing a surprise on them' on the day. Only you will know if this is feasible - but it was the first thought that came to my mind.
Now I don't know if I am ready to come out to my grandmother. I thought I was able to and ready. All day I have been thinking about it and I feel so overwhelmed. I have a lot going on right now. I am having a surgical procedure done next Friday and will be out for a few days from work, unpaid. So I have been stressing out over this. I am thinking that now may not be the time for me to come out to my grandma and aunt. I am thinking that I may wait until I am back at work and had the procedure done. I feel bad and I would be letting my bf down. I invited him to come along but now I can not bring myself to talk to them.
I would say with what you have going on in your life it may be a good time to wait. When you are overwhelmed already, there is no need to add more stress into your life. However, before reading what was just posted, I think that it would be a great time to come out. Personally I think that having your boyfriend their with you would be great support. It will also show your grandmother and aunt how happy you are and that he makes you happy and are in love. Expect some attention from the family though, but not all of it because it still is your brother's special day. Keep us updated!
I just got off the phone with my bf. We both agree its not the right time for him to meet my family. I still need to talk to my grandma and aunt. I explained to him with everything going on I am not as ready as I thought I was to talk to them. He was very supportive and understating. Also I want to talk to my former sister in law. I want to tell her that I know the kids know I am gay and that they can talk to me about it if they have any questions. Also I have been thinking that for the kids they are going to see their dad remarrying and I don't know if it would be too much to see me with my bf for the first time. By him not going to the wedding it does not reflect how we feel about each other. If anything it shows that we have excellent communication between us and it will make our relationship stronger in the long run. We both want to meet each others family and we want to do it when we are both comfortable with the situation. Thank you everyone for your advice. As usual it was very valuable. (*hug*)(*hug*)
