Does it really matter whether your college is gay-friendly?

I kept gay-friendliness in mind when applying. All the schools I applied to were pretty liberal (and the one I'm at now is VERY liberal) just because I knew I'd be miserable if I went 4 years without ever once mentioning my sexuality. Turns out I went even more flamboyant than I thought I would -- I'm an active member of most of our LGBTQ clubs and am out to everyone. Found a great girl who I'm with now.

Keep academics in mind first and foremost, but if you're between two schools that you think you'll enjoy equally for what they offer, I'd suggest going for the more gay-friendly one.

 

I think going to a gay-friendly college is important. College isn't all about academics y'know? It's about experiencing true, 100% freedom away from your parents for the first time (responsiblily), maturing, and gaining life experience. When the weekend rolls around and you want to wind down, do you want to be stuck in your dorm alone surfing the Web for hours or do you want to be out having fun with friends, or better yet, openly on a date with your boyfriend? Humans are social creatures; we need to love and to be loved.

Since you're technically not out yet, could you imagine having to dodge questions, tone down your "gayness" LOL, and lie about a part of your life for 4 or more years again? When you're a full-fledged adult? What if you slip up and someone sees you giving your boyfriend a peck on the lips at a party? What if you come out to a friend you thought was trustworthy and they tell the dean? What if someone finds gay porn on your computer, assuming you look at it? What if the way you walk, talk, dress raises people's suspicions?

Going to BYU may provide you with an excellent education, but would you want to live a lie for such a long time and possibly get expelled if you let your secret out?

 

Well, I am going to one of the top ten most conservative campuses in the nation (I believe we are number eight?) and one of the most religious campuses in the country. Also, we placed seventh on the "Alternative Lifestyles Not an Alternative".

I have to say that Texas A&M is not gay friendly. However, I do not fear that I am ever going to be in danger of physical harm just for being gay. As a matter of fact, many of my friends know I am gay and don't care. Of course there are plenty of people saying homosexuality is sinful and evil...but I was under the impression that you will get that anywhere. Furthermore, I met my boyfriend in the dorm my freshman year, and we have been dating for almost two years. Sure it's not pro-gay, but it's not that bad, and we really enjoy the campus and the town.

 

I would definitely say that going to a gay friendly college is important. Everyone says college is the best four years of your life, and while I'm not sure how true that is (though it certainly has been true for me to date), you should be able to be yourself throughout it. Though moreso in the essence that the college is not incredibly conservative where your sexuality is repressed (You don't need to go to an incredibly liberal college, I'd just avoid an incredibly conservative one too).

Also, you're a sophomore in high school, don't limit yourself to two schools just yet. You have a lot of time to do some looking.

 

Your priorities will probably shift 180 degrees between now and the time yo start applying and making decisions. You'll figure out what is important between now and then.

 

Well i dont want to crush any hopes here, but your going to be choosing between "the lesser of two evils" so keep that in mind. No school is going to be 100% "gay friendly". Your more looking as varying degrees of "less" un-gay friendly.

Take my university for example. We have the hallways draped with rainbow flags and posters of hot jock's making out in various places, yet homophobia is rampantly present. Just today for example i had to listen to an entire conversation from the person behind me in english class spit venomous words out his shit-hole of a mouth about a flamboyantly dressed person at a halloween party. I have not heard such horrible things said about anyone let alone a gay person in such a long time. It can be hard to deal with. Dont think that if your university has a LGBT group that your "safe". It takes a village, and in that village you will always have the village idiot.

That said, there are those moments i feel blessed to go to my school. Some days when i feel like shit i can just sit in the A building lounge and stare at the three giant pride flags and i just feel....a calm, soothing presence. In that lounge today in fact, i heard a group of friends talking and one of them said "Thats so gay." and in response the other friend said "AHEM!" to witch followed an "Oops, sorry." It made me smile.

Why am i telling you this? Basically, you seem like your unsure about coming out. I just dont want you to think your choosing between a) going to an un-friendly school with a good education and staying closeted or b) going to a friendly school with not as good an education and coming out. Thats not how it works for a few reasons. One, the education level depends on the amount of time and effort YOU put in more than the school you go to. The other thing is coming out. Its not going to be much easier at the "friendly" school, and there is no guarantee it will push you out of the closet. You could spend your entire 4 years there and not come out.

If you want my opinion, try and come out to that friend of yours now. If you can come out to some friends and family now you will be able to better judge how much LGBT representation at a school is worth to you. Its ultimately your call, but remember than if your teetering on the egde of coming out now, closeting yourself for another four years may seem like an eternity for you.