I can't really find a single problem in my situation so I'll present it as life has to me (except with more precision and cohesion). I’m a freshman in college attending one of the most gay-rich universities in the country. My problem is that I still don’t have any gay friends! I thought it would be relatively easy but all my friends are straight. I think the problem is two part: I’m sort of in the closet and I’m shy. I am just about ready to start coming out but I don’t know where. I also decided to honestly say my orientation if asked…but no one asks. I don’t dress stereotypically gay, you can’t tell from my voice, and I do all my ogling coyly. I’ve decided I’ll go to the LGBT club this week in an attempt to get gay friends. It really sucks that I don’t dorm because I miss out on all those opportunities to meet awesome (gay) people. I’m also trying to improve my flirting because it would be nice to have a boyfriend for once. I just got desperate because it seems paradoxical that I should have no gay friends in a place where I can look across the street and see three gay guys. I’ll just list some questions I have below so it’s in a clearer form. How do you build confidence or overcome your shyness? How do I let guys know I’m gay without waving a rainbow flag with limp wrists while lisping? How do I effectively flirt? And more importantly, how do I maintain non-aggressive looking eye contact? Thanks for reading guys! I know I’m a sad mess!:lol:
Hey there. You're not a sad mess. You're exactly the same as most of us are. If you're going to an LGBT meeting next week that will be the best thing for you to do. Go to the meeting and get comfortable. You don't need to be someone other than yourself - but try to come across as being friendly and open and approachable. Often, when a new face shows up at these meetings, someone will approach you and welcome you. Hopefully that will happen in your case. If nobody approaches you, then you'll have to make the extra effort to introduce yourself to someone (or several people). As others have suggested here on EC, wearing a subtle symbol of 'gayness' would be good - a small rainbow pin or some kind of subtle bracelet or something. No need to wave a flag. Finally - if you figure out how to flirt effectively, please let us know! I'm not sure there's any forumla. Getting to know people in a friendly environment - like the LBGT meeting - is the best bet. You might not find a boyfriend there, but the people there will likely have friends who might be boyfriend material. Or you'll make a friend who is willing to go out to a bar or club with you where you might meet one. When I first came out, I actually put an ad online that was very clear and honest - I was only looking for gay friends. And I got several good responses. I'm still good friends with one of the guys that responded today - 2.5 years later. Good luck - and welcome to EC!
I agree with Jim that going to the GLBT meeting next week should be a great start in the terms of making gay friends. As for the letting people know you're gay, well I have no idea I guess wear subtle hint like a small pin jim suggested. Or you could borrow my Lady GaGa shirt, that's a dead give away . No I idea bout the flirting thing though. The GLBT meeting though, that sounds like your best bet for making gay friends.
