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Another CRUSH thread any advice appreciate it

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by maz10, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. maz10

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    Ok guys need your help here, never thought I would be hear asking advice for this. Like everyone else I get crushes. Well what I thought were crushes but in respect to this new one I have developed they were nothing. I’ll give you the background story might be a long one and I do appreciate if you read it all (get out while you can now).


    I started university about 6 weeks ago. I’m only in a small centre so no massive lectures halls or anything; I have 18 people in my class which I spend all my lesson time with. Like you do you scout out what’s on offer so to speak. Well there was nothing special apart from Lewis (my crush) now who I didn’t really like at first, thought he was sorta good looking but nothing spesh . Well we started to get in to our little groups and he happens to be in my social and working group which makes it all the harder. He was very quiet at first and shy everyone was so I took it upon myself to get every relaxed and talking. Lewis was a little harder than the rest but got him out of his shell.


    Well 5 weeks on been talking and I swear we had been flirting a hell of a lot, but I’, not 100% sure if it were flirting. I don’t have a lot on the way of exp, I keep thinking i am looking too much into all this and hoping. But i think its flirting but I could just be flirting in a sorta fun way or just banter?


    A little about Lewis, he’s meant to be str8 but I swear there is something more and one of my class mates agrees with me so trying not to get my hopes up. He does have a girl friend at home, but doesn’t love her “wished they just stayed friends” his own words but wont split up with her as it will break her heart.


    Up to 5 weeks ago I hadn’t even realised I had a crush on him till we were on Facebook, when he called me an idiot and wrote ignored. Now I realise he were joking but that hurt when he put the ignored comment on. Like a stake thru the heart almost, I was so annoyed with him it were untrue. So I waited an hour to wait for another comment from him nothing and then he went offline. I was sooooooo pissed it were unbelievable. How could he have don’t this to me!!!


    He came back online in the morning and started talking to me. I were really short with my answers, he realised I were mad and asked what were up. I tried so hard to stay mad but all I wanted to do was just talk to him, so I broke down and started chatting a week.
    Another week had past still wanting to talk to him all the time. Getting really annoyed when he wasn’t on facebook and when he didn’t reply to my msg. On a night out I got a txt of him asking how I were and if I am enjoying myself and telling me there were loads of fit girls out :eek:. He were on a night out too so he had to be thinking about me to make him send a msg, my heart just grew when I got that txt msg. We texted on and off all night.


    Other day we all went to a cafe and I sat on a two seated table as there wasn’t enough room for us all to sit on the big table. There were one seat left to for him to sit at, but no he sat next to me I were so happy. That were the day I were really trying hard to ignore him and try and speed this crush over and done with found out that method doesn’t really work just makes u seem ignorant and down.


    I were doing really well till about 2pm. I hadn’t really been engaging him with him much. He kept asking if I were ok, which i sorta liked too cuz he knew I weren’t myself. But we all went to the pub didn’t we (no alcohol tho) and I couldn’t help it I had to talk to him. I even deleted his number out of my phone and blocked him on Facebook. That only lasted a day, i sorta played it off and he didn’t believe I had done it but I unblocked and were friends again talking lol. When I talk to him I just feel so happy and don’t want anyone to talk to me but him.


    I really don’t know what I am asking may be it were just a release and tell people in the same situation and likeminded people. It not even been 2 months and I am acting like I am in a relationship with him. I always thought I wouldn’t be the clingy one  but it looks I might be need to really watch that, and he does know I am gay. If you have any advice any at all by all means i will give it ago, maybe even how to get over it, or even get with him :-D


    If you got here thank you very much. Also tired my hardest to get rid of all my spellings mistakes.
     
  2. Dare2bProud

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    I don't have any amazing advice for you, however, I've been in the same situation many times. The first guy I ever fell in love with I would get pissed if he didn't talk to me as much as he usually did or if he was out with his girlfriends. I would often get upset with him and have the attitude "I'll prove to you why you should have hung out with me instead of someone else" and than I would go do something that he's been wanting to do with me just to spite him. Its a tricky situation because we reciprocated and had so much in common. I still think about it and I haven't been in a relationship since (I was 21, I'm 26 now ... 5 years ...). I've dated around, but can never seem to find someone that makes me feel the way he use to. I use to block him on AIM all the time to show I was upset and than play it off as I wasn't online. If this guy is still dating girls, but is also showing interest in you ... its tricky. My best friend ended up not talking to me during our last three years of college because I came out to him and told him I loved him. He's now moved to LA doing what, I don't know. I still think about him, but I know there is someone for me out there ... where they are ... I don't know.

    I was also in a Facebook war this summer, I had a crush on an actor. Added him to Facebook, tried to talk with him and he didn't seem interested. Find out he was interested in the music director and they kept posting back and forth on each others walls. I was so upset I took them all off my FB and than tried to add back the actor claiming I accidentally hit the "x" .... it still didn't turn out how I expected or wanted to. I ended up leaving the production because of all the rumors going around about me. Sometimes what goes on on the internet is not that worth it. Its just easier to hide behind for most.
     
  3. Just Adam

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    well honestly id say stop the pouting phase thaat is today ill tomorrow i wont day after i might...

    so jsut talk engage him see how he feels get to know him...cos not beeing harsh i really aint but it sound like he is allways chasing after you and your blowing him off ...which aint nice but it might jsut be how i read this.... dont think jsut because you have feeligns for someoen its a crush and has to be blown off...why? he obviouslly cares and you dont really know hes straight the comment he txted saying about girls he might be tryign to find out if your gay or not....i dont know if your out to him but if not its an idea... taht he might of been fishing...you jsut need to open up more find out about him...get to know him...get closer...maybe invite him out sometimes and if he asks why jsut say cos you like beeing with him....after all it does seem to be true.

    the feeling that no matter how mad you feel when you around or hear from him your jsut happy...that seems standard thign so dont beat up over that...


    bottom line he sounds like a nice guy who likes you and wants to be friends you think hes straight and all you can do is fish for answers and clues...

    maybe come out to him see how he reacts...i dunno im not good with this advice thing...

    but dont rush it and dont throw it away... see how it goes.

    take care.
     
  4. maz10

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    @Dare2bProud: I know where your coming from, totally didn't handle it the right way know that now.

    @Just Adam: That were some good advice after some very bad advice from friends. I will take it slowly and see where it goes. The pouting stage is over from this point lol. He's does know i am gay and very cool with that fact never showed any sign to suggest otherwise. Just hope for the best and prepare for the worst really. Whats the worst I get a friend out of it.

    Cheers both of ya for taking the time to read it :slight_smile:
     
  5. Just Adam

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    aww thats the spirit :slight_smile: ... spend time together and jsut see where it goes if nothing else a friend that accepts you and cares about you is a wonderful thing and very rare... :slight_smile: