My boyfriend of 5 months (and first "serious" partner) broke up with me about 2 months ago, when I told him I'm transgender. Since then we've hung out some together, though we argued a lot. He's made it quite clear that he is not interested in me at all. I don't think I love him any less than I did 2 months ago. i miss him so much, and he doesn't even care. (I'm crying writing this right now) Problem with that is, I've been, well, a bit of a stalker. And I can't seem to stop. I really wish I could just move on with my life...but I don't know how. It doesn't help that the person I cared so much about, broke up because of my gender. And purposely tried to hurt me while he was at it. I really want to be over this... I have enough problems, what with gender/social stuff/school, as it is.
im sorry it went bad for you and im really sorry your crying..nobody should be able to have that effect on you... ok fact is he doesent want you hes not interested and he never will be. he is hostile to you and when your together theres nothign but hate and negativity. i know its hard to move on but you ow it to yourself to be happy and find someone who will love you. do you think your using your fears of acceptance by people to cling on to the hopes of this impossible relationship? perhaps, are you afraid of how others will react so are afraid to move on ? maybe, but you have to try. nobody who has been in love will tell you its easy to get over someone, you allways think what could i have done different start thinking all those coversations what you could of changed what did you do wrong....STOP! fact is you did nothign wrong he did... your not lettign go out of fear and guilt... he wasent able to accept and love you for YOU... all you did wsa be open honest and loving and he threw it back in your face with bile... you need better...this man will never love you never care about you and you deserve to be happy and cared about. step back and think about him... what really made him so great that no other man could be? what makes him so special because ill tell one thing he doesent have and thats love.... he wants a guy but only one on his terms... HE NEVER LOVED YOU! he only loved who you were in his head... he loved the man not the person... when you really love someone the way they deserve you dont jsut cast them aside when they open up and are honest to their very core, he is no good for you and would only drag you down...you deserve better and you will find better. so get over the guilt part you did everything you could it was his call and he through away a great person beacause he was unaccepting and small minded. as for fear you will find someoen who loves you, he isnt special, yes he wsa teh first but he wont be teh best by any stretch ...this was just the warm up on the side lines now you need to come into play... youve experienced teh negative reactions people can have b ut to alot you can say what you got to and they will jsut say so? and? it dont matter i love you... there are better people out there for you so much better its impossible to stress how much so its liek looking from mud up to a rainbow... your best option for this is to just break contact and surround yourself with your friends at this time and get out have fun dont stay cooped up thinking abotu him and what ifs it will never happen he will move on and so must you as you need to be happy. it will be hard and will take time but over that time feelings do fade and life goes on and you will meet someone who will make your life amaizing... just take care and get out of the house with friends... x
