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Was this inappropriate

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by drake86, Nov 8, 2009.

  1. drake86

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    So I sent a message to a person I knew from school 3 days ago. We werent close friends but knew each other and had a bunch of classes together. He has yet to write me back. Was something wrong with what I said?

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    Hey ____,

    Sorry if this is random but I wanted to ask you for some advice/ words of wisdom. I know we haven't talked in a while and I wish we had kept in touch better but I have been thinking about something for a while now and thought that you would be a great person to turn to.

    I've been struggling with my sexuality for years and years, probably since I was 12 or 13. I came to the conclusion that I am gay a few years ago but did not feel like coming out or acting on it. I know you had said that you came out a few years ago and that it was a process. I don't really have many friends who are gay, that I know of, and feel like I don’t really know anyone who I can turn to for some honest advice or opinions.

    Sorry if this is a bit overwhelming or if it seems out of line I just feel like I don’t have anyone that I can talk to who would understand what I have been going through. I guess I just wanted to see how your overall experience coming out was, if you are willing to tell me about it. I have told one other person who graduated --- in 07. My parents do not know yet though I feel like they have to have somewhat of an idea.

    I am happy where I am now but am getting tired of keeping this a secret. I hope you have been doing well since graduating. The real world is not the same. I am currently living in Houston, it has been a whirl wind since school.

    Again, sorry if this seems pushy but I just don’t really have any idea of how I should move forward. Please don't feel like I am asking you to solve my problems I just thought it would be nice to have someone that I know who I could occasionally bounce some ideas off of. As I am sure you can remember this is nerve wracking so I would really appreciate it if you kept this information to yourself, not saying you wouldn’t. Thanks for any help and I hope all is well. What have you been up to since school ended?
     
  2. x2x2x2x2y2

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    I don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe he hasn't read it yet or maybe he changed his email.
     
  3. NJCentralGary

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    I don't think it was inappropriate, i think it was brave. I'm probably twice your age and I haven't done anything like that. I hope he responds, keep us posted.
     
  4. HackmanWIU

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    Nothing wrong there, I sometimes don't check my email on the weekends just cause I am busy.
     
  5. i need help

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    i personally agree with every one else...
    and if he was out, you are just asking for a little help and i know that i would help anyone i could...

    i think your fine...
     
  6. sexyalex

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    Nicely written. Couldn't have said any better. :slight_smile:

    I hope he writes back.
     
  7. Camman3

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    If anything, he'd be eager to respond to that - find me a gay guy who wouldn't help another guy struggling with his sexuality. All LGBTs have gone through it and know how confusing it can be. There's no way it was inappropriate. Just hang in there for a few days - maybe he just hasn't had time to check his e-mails yet.
     
  8. drake86

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    He still has not gotten back to me. It has been four days since I sent him the facebook message. I guess all I can do is wait. There a bunch of gay guys that are in the organization that I work for. Should I contact one of them if this flops. I do not know any of them verry well and I would not want the word to get out to the other people I work with just yet....
     
  9. Confusicus

    Confusicus Guest

    I think you should just give him some time. I know how you're feeling because I just recently did the exact same thing. I contacted an old friend who I went to school/grew up with, and wrote a very similar message on facebook. I remember it took him a couple days but I was constantly checking back and seeing if he had written me yet. I ended up meeting up with him and a friend of his who had worked for a LGBT hotline a while back, we caught up, took in a screening of Where the Wild Things are and then chatted at Steak and Shake for an hour or two. It felt great to be in the company of some people who I knew I could just be myself with and not worry about what they were thinking. I need to meet up with them again, I still have many questions lol, I just hope they don't mind me hanging out.

    Wow, sorry to hijack your thread, just thought I'd share my experience. Hope he gets back to you soon and can help you out some. Just reaching out is a huge step, but I feel it is a positive one that will only help things improve.
     
  10. drake86

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    Thanks for the advice. Should I message him if he is online on facebook? Not trying to be a stalker but I just can't figure out why he hasnt written back. I guess it is a bigger deal to me than it probably is to him.
     
  11. drake86

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    He got back to me. He was totally cool with it. Feels awsome to have someone to talk to about this whole thing. Would have been really awkward trying to talk about it with the one straight guy I came out to.
     
  12. Jack2009

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    I wouldn't help just anyone.