Okay, So I was having this conversation with my friend about my sexuality and he said I'm straight just wanting to be bisexual. True, I am confused, but I don't see how you can want to date a guy if you're faking it. Like for example, I've never liked a guy. I've liked a guys looks and I can imagine dating them, but I haven't really loved a guy. I was in love with a girl, I mean, I loved her, she was awesome. Words can't explain how much I loved her. I don't want a label. I want to be able to date whoever I like guy or girl. And My feelings toward guys: "I want a nice cute guy that’s funny, nice, and awesome. I want to go to the mall, and hang out and hug and hold hands and walk down the street and hold hands and talk about life and everything. I totally want to date a guy. It would be so magical. We would hang out all the time and hug and kiss." "I thought hormones just affected sexual thoughts, because i have those about girls and guys, but mostly guys. I'm very sexually attracted to both sexes. When I tell myself I'm bi, it doesn't sound right, like i'm lying, but I really don't care what gender, i don't see gender, i see personality and how nice they are." Maybe I am gay, I mean, my attraction to girls is diminishing What am I? Am I faking it?:icon_sad:
I have a friend that came out a few years ago, she had spent all of her years dating only men. She met a girl that she fell in love with and came out to everyone. A few years later they broke up, and she met a guy that is now the love of her life. She recently got married. The moral to this story is don't worry about labels, be who you are. If you are "bi" then ok, if your "gay" then ok. Just follow your heart and you will be ok. You can simply be attracted to people...whether guys or girls. Btw, who would be straight wanting to be bi-sexual? Doesn't make sense.
Listen to yourself and your wants and needs, not other peoples opinions. It's so easy to listen to someone's opinion of you and start to believe what they say. If you keep listening to them and not yourself it will only get more and more confusing.
I think it would be best not to label yourself, you may meet that special person who you love gender regardless. So I don't think you should think of it as "do I only love guys", "do I only love girls", "do I love them equally", "am I lying" and think of it as "does it matter?" since you are physically attracted to both sexs, you will meet a person who you love mentally so just wait and see who you fall inlove with.
As someone said, "labels are for clothes." There have been other discussions here at EC about the inherent imperfection of a trinary labeling system for sexual identity (gay-straight-bi). Kinsey is the best we have, a 7 point scale going from 0 to 6. You are likely somewhere on the continuum, probably closer to 5 or 6 than to 0 or 1. But don't discount the fact that your unconscious is probably struggling with the baggage associated with accepting yourself as gay, and you may, at some level be going through the stages of loss (denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance). Even if at some level you are ok with it consciously, there's some part of you that may be doing some bargaining; the "Oh, I like the idea of being with a guy sexually, but can't see myself in a relationship with one" thing. And likewise, you have to consider that you may simply have not found the right guy or girl to know what true love feels like. I'd say don't worry about the labels, just be open, see who you are attracted to. My experience in working with a number of people is that masturbatory fantasies are usually (but not always) a pretty reliable predictor of your sexual orientation; if you are constantly fantasizing about guys, it is more likely you are gay than not. And if you're so inclined, it can also be worthwhile to have experiences with both sexes and see where it leads you.
