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glasses

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Kizz, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. Kizz

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    gonna be a pretty unique advice thread, but w/e.

    I recently got some glasses, as I was diagnosed as being short sighted.
    I have to use them for computers, reading etc.

    now, I've tried wearing them. they're ok-ish. sorta look good on me when my hair is fairly long

    my family aren't ok though.

    I am VERY self conscious. I keep adjusting my hair, I try to get through college unnoticed, I try to keep myself to myself etc. etc.

    I currently will wear them, but I usually try to hide away from the family. try to cover my face with my knee, hold my head in my hands etc.
    I'm just not comfortable with them at the moment.

    my mum thinks this is "stupid" and every time I do this, she punishes me by not allowing me to use my computer. she has so far punished me twice. the 2nd time she exploded at me, and we fell out for the day. I was sent to bed.

    I know and stand by my thoughts that I will not let them take me out of my comfort zone at all. yet my mum seems intent on doing just that. she seems so intent on only thinking about how I act, not how I am uncomfortable with them.

    am I wrong? what should I do? :help:

    (I have tried reasoning with her. she is acting completely UNreasonable about the whole issue with how I'm uncomfortable with them)
     
  2. Jim1454

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    I'm confused. You don't want other people to see you with your glasses on?!? Is that the problem?

    Because the reality is that you do wear glasses. What's the big deal?

    I'd be frustrated with my own daughter if I bought her glasses because she needs them and then she proceeded to do silly things like hang her hair over her face, hold her hands up all the time, etc.
     
  3. ArcaneVerse

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    I've been wearing glasses since I was little, it does take awhile to feel comfortable in them but really there is no reason to be ashamed and to hide while wearing them. Hell glasses are semi fashionable at the moment.

    I think your mom is doing the right thing to be honest maybe going a little overboard but she's just trying to get you to see your being irrational and silly.

    Are your family making comments about your glasses at all to make you feel bad about wearing them?

    Why do you not like them? is it because they are "nerdy"?
     
  4. Lexington

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    Yeah, I'm not quite understanding what it is that you and your mother are fighting about.

    Lex
     
  5. Kizz

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    she's saying my embarrassed behavior is "stupid".
    tbh, I understand it is, but I can't help how I feel. I feel VERY insecure wearing them. I just want to take it at my own pace. but every single push mum attempts to use keeps pushing me in the WRONG direction >.>

    I just want to go as I feel comfortable. but I feel mum is shoving them on, and flinging me into the open >.>
    and that won't make this any better.
     
  6. Lexington

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    How long have you had the glasses?
    And what kind of reactions are you getting so far?

    Your mother is right, though. Shoving you out of your comfort zone isn't going to help. But you're going to have to nudge yourself out of that comfort zone, and the sooner the better.

    Lex
     
  7. Kizz

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    I only just started wearing them yesterday.

    and I know, but still, I feel very uncomfortable with them. especially as now, they don't suit me (hair was cut recently, and they look TERRIBLE now)
     
  8. Black Cat

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    I've worn glasses since first grade. I had to get bifocals in 8th grade (but a year later got to get rid of them, I still have to wear glasses though) and felt the same way about them as you feel about your new glasses.

    There is a period of adjusting when you first get them, but it really isn't a horrible change or anything. They can't be that bad. Just take some time to get used to them. I can see how you would be uncomfortable with them but you are going to have to get over that, as they are vital to your vision for the time being.
     
  9. Chip

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    At your age *any* major change in appearance can be a really big deal. It's part of the desire to "fit in" that most people your age feel.

    I can remember getting a bad haircut at that age and feeling like I was going to die. And I think your mother sees that and is trying to help, but going about it in completely the wrong way.

    Your comfort with your glasses will grow over time. You do need to just get used to them, and if you've already tried talking to your mom about it and gotten nowhere the best suggestion I can make is conform your behavior to what she wants *while you're around her* so she leaves you alone. But it won't hurt to push yourself a little bit to come to accept yourself with glasses.

    A very large portion of the population wears them, and the companies who make them make a fortune off of people's insecurities by selling designer frames for 5 times what regular frames sell for. Don't give into this trap; just realize that your glasses are a utility that help you see, and look around and notice that lots of other people your age wear them too. It just takes a little time to get used to them :slight_smile:
     
  10. ArcaneVerse

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    Id suggest talking to your mom in a calmly manner and just say that "I understand I'm being silly but I have to comfortable with my glasses at my own pace"

    Now glasses do take some time to get used to, they completely transform the way you look but the only reason you think they look terrible is because they are a huge change.
    Every time I've had to get a new pair of glasses (ive had over 15 pairs by now) I hated them for the first week or so until I got used to them and the way they shaped my features but once I got over the initial shock I realised they don't make me look bad at all.

    Maybe give them a few weeks and if you still think they don't suit you, look at other styles and shapes of glasses. although I don't know if this is possible for you because I know how expensive glasses can be.
     
  11. Kizz

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    just a small note, I don't "need" them to see. I can still read etc. fine.

    and also, she is always around me. I can't move x.x she says she wants to keep my laptop in here so I spend more time with the family.
     
  12. Lexington

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    >>>I feel very uncomfortable with them. especially as now, they don't suit me (hair was cut recently, and they look TERRIBLE now.

    I recently got new glasses. And my partner went with me to pick out the frames. Not to HELP pick out the frames, but to actually pick them out. Because, as he concisely put it, "You're not gonna be the one looking at them." Which is actually true.

    Point being, YOU actually don't get to choose whether the glasses look good or bad. That's for the rest of the world to decide.

    Unrelated. Perhaps if you spent some quality time with your mother (sans laptop), she'd be more inclined to let you go on your own afterwards?

    Lex
     
  13. Mysterons

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    Can't you wear contact lenses?

    I started wearing glasses when I was ten but I never dug them. I didn't like the way I looked with them and I found them uncomfortable for gym lessons. I wore contacts for some months when I was twelve but couldn't get used to them so I went on with the glasses. When I turned fifteen I tried once again with contacts and never wore glasses again :slight_smile: (I mean outdoors, I only wear glasses early in the morning after I get up).
     
  14. I know how you feel. I got a new retainer yesterday after not having one for almost a year, and now I'm speaking with a lisp again. I was soooo dreading going to school today... and nobody even noticed. Chances are, most people are going to think your glasses make you look awesome. And smart. I know very few people who look bad in glasses. They're just cool.
     
  15. justinishere

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    This is exactly how I was when I first got my glasses. But you know once you just start to wear them they kind of just attach to you and you don't reliaze you have them on. I have mine all the time because I am nearsighted (can't see far) and it doesn't really bother me at all anymore. Once you get used to them you will love them.

    As for glasses in general, lots of people wear them. When you find the right pair that fits you that compliment how you look :slight_smile: