My parents buys me nearly everything I want. I'm always happy of course when I receive the things I want but I feel horrible at the same time. Like today, my mother surprised me with a $28 cardigan which I LOVE but I totally didn't deserve it. I know I can say, "Mom, stop spoiling me. I need to be independent more often." but it's hard when someone's not only willing to pay for 90% of what you pick up, but also is encouraging you to pick up more stuff. LOL My grades are slightly above average, I do two chores (she sometimes still fixes my bed), and I hardly spend time with her. I feel as if I'll forever depend on them, like I'm a fashionable, but useless waste of space that has no skills or know-how of his own. When I move out, what will I do? Continue to mooch off my parents in even larger quantites? How will I be able to make it? I then worry about the large amount of money that's frequently spent. Sunday, we spent nearly $300 on groceries when we'd been to the grocery store last week, spending over $100 then! I've never been able to ask anything pertaining to money, salary, or finances dealing with us. My family's middle-class, so while we aren't struggling (at least to my knowledge), I don't think we have the money to spend in such large amounts. Me and my dad seem to worry more about finances than my mom! I hate being in the dark when it comes to important matters such as money. What can I do to feel more independent? I've had a job that lasted for a year before I quit because it was too dysfunctional for me and I've applied to 3 places recently.
You basically answered part of your question here. Offer to help more with the chores, and make time in your day to spend with your mom. Get into watching a TV show together. Pick a book and both read it and discuss it as you go. Plan a game night to get the family together. There are plenty of ideas on how to boost your relationship with your family that cost little or nothing. No. You'll get a job and work to provide for yourself like everyone else in the world. It's as simple and depressing as that. If you're afraid of moving out, that's a common thing. Big changes like that can be scary, but after a few days on your own you get the hang of it, and the freedom that comes from making your own way through life is worth more than any mooching. Leave the money to your parents. If they want to splurge on you, that's their decision. If finances do get tight, I'm sure your father will tighten the metaphorical purse strings. Enjoy being a kid while you're still one, and then work toward making yourself independent from their finances. That's a true sign that a parent has succeeded in raising a child. Once they stop paying that last bill for you, you'll all feel proud of what everyone has accomplished.
Thanks for replying. Yeah, I want to get a job when I get older, but I still fear that I'll have to largely depend on my parents.
Wow in a way you are kind of lucky to have such a great mom. There is a time that every once in a while for your parents to buy you things but I would say not all the time is needed. Clothes and food are things that my parents believe that they will pay for, but for a new phone, computer, etc it is up to me to earn my money and buy my own things. Jobs are great choices to make money and feel independent. I think the fact that you are working and gaining money is something that adds to it. But listen to Astraroth's advice. Very good suggestions!
Don't feel like you need to worry about your parents' money. That's their issue - and it's really none of your business. Don't concern yourself with that. In my opinion, as a parent, it's my responsibility to meet the needs of my kids while they're in school. I will expect them to have a part time job or a summer job so that they have some of their own spending money for their 'wants' rather than their 'needs' once they are 16 or so. I expect to continue supporting them through their university schooling as well as high school. So don't feel bad. It doesn't sound like you're a spoiled brat to me. You might want to try to spend more time with your mom if you feel you're neglecting her. Stay in school and keep your grades up - that's what your parents want from you.
Dude no worries, the situation seems stable but you feel guilty?? hmm. SOme things that would help you feel better are contributing to your family finacially or spending less... so do one or the other... "jobs" usually suck cuz they are just for money..not cuz they are a career we like, the effort is usuallly worth the feeling of contribution/helping. Good luck
Nothing in what you write says "spoiled little brat" to me. Spiled brats usually ask for more, more, more, now, now, now, instead of worrying whether they should get a job or whether their family can pay for it. I don't think that before I was 24, I really paid for a single thing myself. All necessary expenses (food, clothes, school, books...) were paid for by my parents. And usually if I wanted something, they got it for my next birthday/christmas/shool report, or sometimes for no reason at all. If I really needed something urgently, I usually had enough saved-up allowance money (5€ per week, so not exactly big bucks there :icon_wink) to buy it. However, once I moved out and got a job, they just stopped paying for everything, and I just started paying for everything, without any mooching or problems from either side whatsoever. We just knew that the time had come for me to start paying for my own expenses. So I'd say enjoy it when your parents give you small unexpected gifts, because when they notice you moved out and started earning your own money, they'll be pretty quick to pick up on that and stop paying in your stead. Also, this is not the time to worry about not having the necessary skills or know-how. These are developed by actually living on your own, by having a job, and by making an occasional mistake to learn from. Once you are out on your own, and have an own job, basic know-how and skills develop surprisingly easy.
