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Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HELP

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by drake86, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. drake86

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    I hate sending something I am unsure about please let me know what you think:

    Hey man,

    I wanted to drop you a quick message about something that has been on my mind a lot recently. After years and years of debating I have only just recently started to tell people that I am gay. Crazy right? I first told a good friend about 7 months ago and the last person I told was another friend from --- earlier this week (a grand total of two people). Please don’t be freaked out that I am telling you. I have kind of gotten to a point in my life where I just need to accept this, let people know, and move on. Spending years worrying about the outcome of people knowing I’m gay is exhausting and annoying. I want you to know that the reason I am telling you this is that I consider you to be a very good friend and am comfortable in sharing this information with you. After hearing you talk about various political and social beliefs I feel that sharing this information with you is really no big deal. You are probably the one person I feel most comfortable sharing this information with right now. I will eventually tell my pledge brothers and other close friends from school but for some reason I feel like they are not as open minded as they should be. One of the biggest obstacles that has prevented me from telling more people is an overwhelming fear that they will treat me differently or that an existing friendship will somehow change or be altered in some manner.

    This whole “coming out” process is VERY new to me. Like I said only two people know; three now including you. I have yet to tell my parents or siblings and feel that I have reached a point where I will tell them soon. This is inevitably extremely awkward and uncomfortable for both parties involved, me and the person I am telling. Please do not feel awkward by this message. I understand if this may be a little overwhelming or unexpected and I apologize for springing this on you. It is strange hiding something and then all of a sudden getting the urge or feeling the need to tell others a piece of hidden information.

    I think one of the things that makes this hard for me in my mind is that I feel like telling my friends will be a complete shock. I guess I feel like I don’t fall into that stereotypical gay mold (I mean I don’t wear a wig, jewelry, or women’s shoes when walking in to (the name of a school that we both work at), joke). When I first told my friend we were both really drunk and he fired questions at me left and right, literally every question you could think of. If you want clarification or are just interested in something don’t hesitate to ask I’m completely comfortable in talking about it.

    Again my biggest fear about telling people is that this will change how people perceive me or how they act around me. You’re a close friend and I hope this information won’t change that; I am not suggesting that it would if I truly thought it would have an impact on our friendship I probably would have not told you. It’s really strange letting your guard down and by doing so making yourself completely vulnerable, and is something that I am not very used to. Thanks in advance if for nothing else just simply allowing me to tell you about this part of my life.

    Your friend,

    XXX
     
  2. ADTR fan

    ADTR fan Guest

    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    damn. can i use that next time i decide to come out??? That is a great letter!!!! :grin: all mine have been like: "i wanted to tell you... im im im im im im *voice cracks* bi." no but seriously, good luck! from what you wrote, your friend seems very accepting.
     
  3. Ralivar

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    It's a great letter, if only the letter I'm trying to write to my parents were as good.
     
  4. Mirko

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    Hi there! I think it is a great letter. You have let your friend know the reason as to why you are telling him and that you trust him. Let us know how it turns out.
     
  5. NJCentralGary

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    Great letter!! Please keep us posted.
     
  6. drake86

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    just emailed it to him now i just wait...
     
  7. shorty

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    This perfectly sums up what I think most of us feel. Please straight people, don't act weird around us, don't treat us differently, just accept it as a fact of who we are.

    Oh, and edited to add, the whole letter is very good! :eusa_clap
     
  8. Filip

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    It seems I'm a tad late, but I do still want to say I find it a very good letter. I like how you explain how you come out to him because you value him as a friend. Also, I like the almost casual tone in which you mention you're gay.

    I hope he'll reply soon! Please do let us know what he replies!
     
  9. Gaetan

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    :thumbsup: Hope it all goes well!
     
  10. confused102188

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    wow when i come out i ant it to sound that good!
     
  11. Ander Blue

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    Re: Just came out to my second person and am about to send this letter to a third. HE

    Drake,
    I want to thank you very much for your thread. I myself am in a similar stage of coming out and am on the verge of letting my close friends know. This past week I told my fraternity brothers at house meeting, and was greatly encouraged by waves of support I got in return. Today though, I sent out an email to my best friend back home, an email the idea of which has been giving me stress now for several days. Your letter gave me hope though and helped to ease my fears. It's great to hear such positive feedback and encouragement in such a worrisome part of my life. I hope your letter is taken well and that friendship is just as strong as before. Thank you again