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Just A Lost Little Boy : (

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by mm91, Nov 11, 2009.

  1. mm91

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    I'm not even sure if it's okay to post this here or not, but I might as well give it a shot. Right now I'm completely lost in life. For once, my sexuality is the only thing that I'm completely sure of. Okay, I lied. Outside of my sexuality I'm sure of two other things. One, I don't want to go back to where I started (my hometown). It's a place that traps you and keeps you there forever. Plus it's small, really boring and little potential. Second, I don't want want to be where I am now. Right now, I'm in my third semester of college and I'm completely sick of it. By the end of last semester I had seriously considered taking a break from school and doing something else with my life, if not only temporarily.

    Well, I returned to school and am now just about finished with my third semester and once again I am sick of school. The worst part is that is if I feel this way now I can't even imagine what I'm going to feel like come next semester. My problem with school isn't going to school or the work being hard or anything, it's just that right now I have no idea what it is that I want to do and there really isn't even a sparkle of an idea floating in my head. I feel like I'm just wasting time and money not knowing and that's really starting to bug me more and more. Also, I have very little motivation to even get the work done that I know I can get done. Right now, I'm perfectly happy with not studying and just squeaking by with B's. Mediocre is not what I wanted for this part of my life and I'm not happy with it.

    ....on top of all of this, there is a great guy out there (2,000 miles away) that I can't be with :dry: :icon_bigg but that's only the cherry on top of the real situation.


    I guess I'm not actually sure what I'm looking for and to be honest I'm horrible at taking advice...even when I ask for it, BUT maybe there is someone out there with something that can spark something in me to help point me in the right direction. Hopefully.
     
  2. Legnaj

    Legnaj Guest

    You know there are some cultures out there that actually take a break before entering college. After highschool, they go on a year long trip around the world and begin school on return. Why? Because of an idea that it doesnt make snese to throw someone into a school and expect them to know what they want to do after coming out of an institution where they were never taught about the real world. I agree with that. If you feel you need to take a break, do it. Explore the world (you dont have to take a trip around the world though) around you and find out what it is that sparks your fire and pursue it.

    You have a good idea of what isnt making you happy, thats a start. You need to explore what makes you happy before you can continue in my opinion.
     
  3. Gaetan

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    I'm also from a small, no future town...and I'm just finishing up my final semester of college. And, y'know what? I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I enjoy what I'm studying, and wouldn't mind a career in it.

    It is perfectly acceptable to take a break from school if you feel you need it. Just know that it is infinitely more difficult to go back if you ever do. All of my friends who have taken a break from school have not come back.

    Maybe try a different major? Or take a semester off from your major and just take fluff courses to finish University general requirements?
     
  4. Eleanor Rigby

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    About your problem with school, can't you see a counselor ?
    I don't know if this kind of things exists in US, but in France there are counselor you can see to help you find a profession that would suits you and the appropriate studies to reach that goal.
    Talk about it to one of your teachers, they might lead you to the appropriate person to talk about it.
    Take care, Eleanor
     
  5. Emberstone

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    I know what your going through. I just went back to school, but all of a sudden, I am starting to feel like it is just turning into a waste of time. For me, it is hard to get into classes because the school doesnt offer enough, and so I have to be full time to keep my apartment, but I cant get in the classes I need for my liberal arts core for my degree because he school hasnt figured out they need to add more. the school s 67% above what it was last year for attendence, and they are not useing the extra money to fund new teachers. so, I keep having to add classes that dont go towards my english major because thats my only option to stay in school.

    I am getting really depressed about it, because how am I suposed to succed if I am forced to take classes I dont want or need to just because I cant get into the classes I need because they fill up even before I am allowed to sign up. The college has this setup where the more credit hours you have completed, the sooner you get to register... the problem is what is left are classes that you can get a pass/no pass, but which do not apply as credit to any degree.

    It is making me feel as if I am in the wrong program because I cant get anywhere because of poor planning by the school.

    We should form a "We are sick of college" club.
     
  6. Dare2bProud

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    I wish I would have taken a break before college or actually after my sophomore year when I was coming out -- unfortunately with my fighting spirt I kept going and going. I graduated in five years with a theatre degree. I went from something practical Theatre/English Education to just theatre because with my depression I just couldn't keep up or focus and several of my theatre professors knew what was going on and kept me going. I think I will go back to get my teacher's license in the next year, however, I still have to work full time because I live by myself in my apartment, but, I think it might be the best option. Currently I work at a hotel and do a lot of volunteering hopefully it will all end up into somewhere. I've noticed I have become more and more lazy with paying bills and apartment cleaning. I've lived by myself for so long, I always pay bills on time but I'm not as intense as I was when I first started living by myself, I use to keep an excel spreadsheet of everything, use to be careful about what I charge, pay over the minimum on my cards ... ugh ... I'm lucky to be able to pay the minimum now! Its ridiculous. Anyway ... I probably missed the point of this thread, but I just wish I had time to catch up ... I still haven't ... three years out of college, five years out of the college ... its still all colliding. Sooner or later I'll get off of the treadmill.
     
  7. Kenko

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    I went through 4.5 years of hell on earth known as "University". I stuck with it because I was promised great career potential.

    I now sit 11 months out of school with no fucking job. Just an overpriced piece of paper. Another year of people in my program are about to crowd the job market, and the unemployment rate continues to increase even though we're told "The economy is recovering!"

    Sorry, I wish I could help.
     
  8. malachite

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    wow it is like reading a book about my life.

    I grew up in a small town too and felt that I would be trapped there forever if I didn't leave. I went to college and was unsure about things and tired of it by the end too.

    But let me ask you this: Are you majoring in anything or are you just taking your academic courses?

    Don't freak about not having things figured out, everyone in my life kept telling me I had to have everything figured out by a certain age, which I'm way past, or my life would jst be worthless. They are full of crap.

    The truth is:
    Life isn't bliss, life isn't some hiddden path for you to find, life is living plain and simple.