Hi well I am good friends with someone I used to share my place with and we shared the place for 5 years. I always thought he was straight, but a few days before I moved out with him he made a move on me and things got sexual. Well he is cute but I feel there is no spark there. the last days I was there I slept with him and was not that keen but decided to. I have now moved out, and he seems keen to continue having a sexual relationship with me but I am not. He stated he is my best friend. Problem is he can get jealous of gay friends I bring around and he was pissed off when I caught up with 2 gay friends recently when I was living there. He is more attracted to females and says he is looking for a girlfriend, however his jealously is making me uneasy. I have no problem if he is dating women and never get jealous of that. In additon I live quite far from him and plan to see him again in a few mths time as he will come and visit me. How can I say to him I am not interested in him sexually? things were great when the friendship did not turn sexual but I feel I made a mistake. I dont want to hurt his feelings as he stood up for me when things went bad for me and was always there for me when I needed it.
That's a tough call. But you need to be honest (with hurting him the least way possible). So you have to word it carefully. Tell him your time together was great, but you didn't feel a spark there like might have, though you thought you did at first. He might understand. I'm sure he has had friends he's not had sparks with? I know I've confessed serious crushes with women and they backed off because they didn't feel anything mutual. I also slept with a couple who I didn't feel much for as you describe. It worked out in the end and most of them are still friends with me. You just have to be calm and talk it out. If he gets all mushy, tell him, "I'm sorry but you've probably had people have crushes on you and you haven't felt the same way right? Well that's how I feel here. I love you as a friend though man."
The best thing in my opinion is to be honest with him. It might hurt his feelings on the moment, but it's better now than in a few weeks or a few months where her could have the feeling that he had been played by you. Call him or send him an e-mail saying that he really is a good friend and that you appreciate his company a lot, but that you don't want to carry on to have sex with him because it makes you uncomfortable. If he doesn't take it well, give him some time to swallow the pill. Maybe he has more feelings for you than you think. Take care, Eleanor
>>>How can I say to him I am not interested in him sexually? "I'm not interested in you sexually." More complete: "I think we had a great friendship, but I think once we made the relationship physical, it brought in a lot of jealousy and complication that I really didn't want in my life. I'd rather stay platonic friends from here on out." Lex
I was in that place once, however I handled it completly wrong. We fooled around a couple of times and went out a couple times and he dropped a lot of hints that he wanted something serious. I did not. When we went out one night I went home with someone else. He was not happy! It is hard telling someone that you are not interested but it is easier than having to see someone or run into someone that you did that to.
