so I dont know how people havent figured it out already... am I that good at hiding it? Ok so heres the deal i may have made a huge mistake (3 years ago). I decided it would be a good idea to try out the straight life and see if it worked for me and maybe I would just become straight. So I met this girl and she really liked me and I thought she was really nice so when she started coming onto me really strong I broke and went out with her. Three years later our relationship has gotten out of control and I probably should put a stop to it and I dont know how. I'm not ready to come out of the closet yet so i dont want to look at her and just be like "I'm gay" but at the same time I think she is starting to catch on. I have this HUGE crush on this guy (he's a whole other story that I'll blog about later) and i think she notices it. Today she says "well since your hanging out with him tonight I guess I wont hear from you since I think you would rather be with him than me". I don't like leading her on but i don't want to break her heart after all I do love her (in a strange sort of way). I want to be straight with all my heart and I knw thats so wrong because thats not what i am... and this really is'nt a desease and it cant be cured!!!
Break up with her, leading her on longer will only worsen her eventual heartbreak. Whether you come out to her when you do it is your choice, I don't know if telling her you're gay will make it easier or worse. Good luck with it everything though! (*hug*)
Yep, it's probably far past time for the break-up. Your heart is already out of this relationship if you're crushing hard on another guy, and her heart is probably already broken because she's sniping you with these verbal daggers too. Just imagine how awkward it's going to get if you keep going this way. I was with a girl for three and a half years. It's tough, but if you really do love her, you'll realize that you're leading her on and keeping her from actually having a fulfilling relationship. You don't necessarily have to come out to her if you break up, but if she asks it's probably best not to lie about it, otherwise she'll be more hurt that you can't even trust her with the truth.
The best thing you can do for both of you is to break up with her. Yes she'll be probably be hurt, but hopefully she'll be able to heal and find someone who'll truly be in love with her. And you deserve too to be truly yourself and to get a chance to be loved for who you are. I know it's not going to be something funny to do, but the more you'll wait and the more difficult it will be. Take care, Eleanor
You are being completely unfair to this girl by dating her. You need to break things off, and not date anyone until you figure out what kind of life you want to lead. If you decide that you want to continue to date women, that is your business (and the woman you're dating). I don't suggest that...but it is your life, and who am I to tell you what you need to do? That being said, any girl you date deserves to know what she is getting into, and you need to tell her that you are attracted to men. Otherwise, you are building a relationship on a lie, and that is a selfish and cruel thing to do. A relationship is not just about satisfying your desire to be straight - there is another person involved and you should respect and love them enough to be 100% honest with them. I'm sorry, I know it sucks being gay and it makes life more difficult than it would be otherwise. I hope you come to terms with yourself and choose the decision that brings you the most peace. It took me a while to accept the fact that I was gay. I am glad I did though because I have found a wonderful guy that I am excited I get to spend the rest of my life with.
(*hug*) It's a tough situation, that's for sure. It's clear that deep down, you already know what needs to be done. And she already noticed that you're really crushing on the other guy. It's a typical example of one of those situations that has come to the point where everyone knows what's going to happen, but yet no one dares to move for fear of starting the inevitable. So the best way would be to just rip the metaphorical band-aid off and break up with her. It probably will lead to tears, and talk about why this is happening and what the both of you are feeling about it, and you might be really hesitant to go through that phase. But ask yourself: is this situation really worth it? You're both feeling miserable already. And that's after just three years. Continuing it indefinitely will only make it worse. You might reach the breaking point in 2 months or in 10 years, but eventually this situation will blow up! You don't need to do it by telling her you're gay if you don't want to. But on the other hand, I do think that it might be something you really should consider. Otherwise you'll have to concoct another story about why you're breaking up with her. If she finds out that you're lying about why you're breaking up with her, then anger and recrimination are almost certain. Being fully honest has the advantage that you can honestly tell her how you feel, why you did the things you did. You could explain that you really do love her, except not in a way that allows you to be in a romantic relationship. And if she loves you, she hopefully will understand in the end. This was all a mistake, but you can try making sure it's the kind of mistake you grow from, rather than the kind of mistake you regret. It's tough, but please do remember that we're always here to support you. And that in the end, things will be better if you allow yourself to be yourself. (*hug*)
You say this was a big mistake. You know you have a crush on someone else. You're not loving her by leading her on. I would rather someone break up with me than stay with me for a long period of time where I could have been looking for someone else.
