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boys boys boys...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ADTR fan, Nov 13, 2009.

  1. ADTR fan

    ADTR fan Guest

    okay so im talking with my friend currently, and i will admit now that i like him. and i think he likes me. we were talking about 11:11 and wishes and he told me his was "super duper secret" which of course made me curious. i kept asking questions such as do i know her, does she sit with us at lunch etc. after going through all the girls that eat with us came to one last person: me. and it wouldnt be awkward for him to like me, except that he has a girlfriend. who i have been friends with for a LONG time. and i would feel awful if he dumped her for me! i really need some advice: i really like him, but i don't want to hurt her. what should i do?
     
  2. littledinosaurs

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    =/ That's a really tricky situation.
    i think it'd be easier for everyone if you don't get with him.
     
  3. ADTR fan

    ADTR fan Guest

    okay so he just told me he liked me... and i know i SHOULDN'T get with him... but maybe if they broke up and we waited a while? i obviously wouldn't go out with him immediately after they broke up. cuz i'd rather not be a boyfriend stealer. okay so i guess i will wait until a decent amount of time until after they break up mutually if he still likes me then... *sighs*
     
  4. L|L

    L|L
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    Grab life by the horns.

    He likes you, you like him.

    If he wants to try it with you, tell him the GF has to go.

    Look back on life and regret silly thing you've done - not the opportunities you've missed.
     
  5. Ander Blue

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    Talk to him about his relationship with his girlfriend. Try to find out if he's happy with the situation or if he's looking for something else. If he decides that he will feel happier with you, let that be the decision and plan for damage control accordingly.
     
  6. ADTR fan

    ADTR fan Guest

    i think that part of the reason they are growing apart is because she wants to spend time with her other friends. which generally is considered a good thing, except that our group of friends will all be going to a movie, and his girlfriend says that she has to have "bonding time" with another friend. these two friends have"bonding time" all the time! its not like they're long distance, they have all their classes together! so because of this the actual couple don't get to spend time together. and then he met me... :|
     
  7. HighintheClouds

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    I think he likes you because he doesn't have enough time with his girlfriend. He feels them growing apart and you're being seen as a replacement. In which case if you're really a good friend I'd suggest that you don't go serious with him. Instead, tell him to fix what's missing in his relationship he already has.

    Perhaps I'm giving the "errant" girlfriend too much credit and/or benefit of doubt, but how would you feel if you were in her shoes and were dumped by your boyfriend, only to find your long-time friend hooking up with him after a while? I don't know about you, but I think I'd feel betrayed. Furthermore, what if she ever finds out that you've both actually been planning the breakup and eventual get together? You can kiss your friendship goodbye.

    Of course, she might not find that out, but then you'll have to live with such a decision on your conscience.

    Here's another look at the situation. So what if he breaks up with her? By you encouraging it (whether explicitly or implicitly), you're basically telling him that it's not necessary to deal with his problems. What then if he finds such a problem happening in the relationship he has with you in the future? What will he do? Will he try to solve it with you, or will he find another girl and get together with her, because hey, that's what he did to get together with you?

    If you really want to be a good friend to the both of them, I say you try to help them fix their relationship. In the long run I think it'll do all of you better.