Are we not meant to have contact with our first loves anymore? I still continue to think of him to this day as if we had some sort of spiritual connection. As if we were brothers separated at birth. He's moved on. So have I. He's out of state, I'm still in state. We haven't spoke in three years. He refuses to speak to me. He said our friendship was tried too many times and with me coming out I had somehow outgrew him. That we are on different journeys and paths. Yet I can't seem to let go of him, wondering what he's doing and where he is. Every time I've tried to add him to my FB he has declined it. It just bothers me because there's something about him I can't seem to let go. Does anyone here still keep in contact with their first love as tragic as it may be? What's this connection I'm feeling? Is it meant for us to not talk? Will are paths ever cross again?
i had a first love well i suppose, you do still love them afterwards except my love didn't love me back which wasn't very good we never had a relationship she was straight but it does take time it took me 2 years, but it might even take longer you get out, meet new people and find out that they aren't the only people in the world who you can give your emotions to if he is being so ignorant to you he really isn't worth it so what i suggest is just try not to think about him i know it's hard but focus on what you have at the moment and stay hopeful
Ugh.... I know how you feel. I've just fallen in love for the first time. In a way it's amazing. In most other ways it really sucks, because the girl I love doesn't love me back. But I don't think it's that way for everyone. I keep up hope that mutual love between two people does exist, and will exist someday in my future. I just don't know when it'll happen.
Gargoyle tail-thumping time. >>>Every time I've tried to add him to my FB he has declined it. It just bothers me because there's something about him I can't seem to let go. This situation is tragic simply because you're making it tragic. Friendships and more-than-friendships are not will-to-power. You cannot make somebody like you, or LIKE-like you. It's a two-way street. Both parties need to agree to it. If one person isn't interested, the friendship/relationship won't happen - no matter how much the other person wants it to. He has told you that he's not interested in you, or in being friends with you. He's told you in words and actions. He hasn't talked to you in three years. When you send him a facebook friend request, he turns it down. These aren't mixed messages. They're very clear, bold and underlined. "Not interested." And yet you persist. You keep sending friend requests. You keep trying to contact him. And you say "I can't move on". You can't move on because you keep expecting something to happen here. And he can't make it any plainer - nothing is going to happen. You need to let him go in your heart, grieve about it for a bit if you feel you need to, and then pick up and look elsewhere. Don't keep looking back. Don't keep his name and number in your cell phone "just in case". Delete the number, delete him out of IM, delete him out of your life. I know. It's tough. It sucks. And it's horribly unromantic. Instead, it's hideously practical. But sometimes, the hideously practical answer is the right one. I'm sorry. (*hug*) Lex
Here's some music to go with Lex's great advice. Do yourself the courtesy and do whatever you have to do to move on. I heard a piece of great advice once that I'll share here. "Your first love is not necessarily your greatest love. It's just the one you compare others to." I remember seeing another thread about not finding love, and this one seems to almost be a self-answer to that one. You haven't moved on from your first love, so finding a new one is like trying to get to the moon without traveling through space. Once you detox from your first love, you might just find that others will be more apt to be attracted to you. As someone in another thread said recently, people have a tendency to notice the tiniest misgivings about somoene's self-confidence. Maybe guys are just picking up the "I'm not really over him" vibe. [YOUTUBE]3vfLvZCdT9g[/YOUTUBE]
So many of my past friends and loves have let themselves drift away from me - frankly, I think it's a bit cowardly for someone that used to be so close to just shut me out instead of explain whatever's making them not want to stay friends, but hey, that's life, the best I can do is be candid with people myself. I used to fight it, but it doesn't help, it only hurts - so I don't anymore. Lexx has good advice.
your first love should be special, it is the first time you have those feelings for another person, it is something you should remeber for the rest of tyour life.
