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Not just any "in love with friend" thread - he's gay too

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rocking23, Nov 14, 2009.

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  1. rocking23

    rocking23
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    so i have a really good friend, like really good friend.
    im starting to get harsh feelings for him.
    we would hang out just the two of us and i would picture myself jumping on him and harsh going at it.
    The more time i spent with him, he becomes much more attractive and more and more irresistible.

    here's the curve ball: he's gay too.

    i dont know if i tell him or ask him out if it would do something to our friendship or it may work out.

    whats your take?
     
    #1 rocking23, Nov 14, 2009
  2. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! I guess my first question would be, has he said anything in the past to you that would indicate to you that he might have feelings for you too?

    Given that he is a good friend, do you think he would react *badly* if you would let him know as to how you feel about him?
     
    #2 Mirko, Nov 14, 2009
  3. Just Adam

    Just Adam
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    well if you know each other well i would say tell him how you feel and see how he feels he may not feel teh same and should if a friend take it as a compliment that you really care for him and just appreciate you more...


    on other hand he might have feeling for you but was too nervous to say incase he upset you ... and you may end up together...some of the best relationships start as friendship as people get to know each other really well over a long time....

    as for what if it dont work ...well jsut put it this way would you rather jsut stay as friends never knowing and your feelings going unknown and possibly losing him to someone else anyway or to take your chances and see where things go.

    :wink: good luck
     
    #3 Just Adam, Nov 14, 2009
  4. rocking23

    rocking23
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    omg i loved that!
    despite it being so blatantly clear, i never though of that.


    but i dont know how i would bring it up un-awkwardly
     
    #4 rocking23, Nov 14, 2009
  5. Mirko

    Mirko
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    If you do want to tell him as to how you feel about him, you could go out with him to a coffee shop or grab a bite to eat and talk to him. It is going to be awkward, but if he is a good friend, and he knows you well, and you feel that you can't hold it in anymore, the maybe it is better if you talk with him. Try to find a place where you feel comfortable. Maybe you can start by saying "over the last little while I have developed stronger feelings for you and I think I really like you...." and take it from there.

    But if you feel that this could put a dent in your friendship, then maybe give it some more thought and think about if he has ever mentioned anything to you that would indicate to you that he might have some feelings for you.
     
    #5 Mirko, Nov 14, 2009
  6. Just Adam

    Just Adam
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    well best way is usually the easiest and most consideraet it will be an emotional moment so you want it to be jsut you two and in a comfortable situation if you hang at his place chilling in his room ( thats right im down with the kids on the lingo) then i say to use that setting ..

    as for the way to do it jsut txt him to hang out and when you meet up make the chit chat etc and after a while just use those really difficult little words " name...ive got somthign to tell you"

    and after that it may be heart breakingly hard but it will come out and then no matter what happens you know you took the chance and the ball is in his court...

    its good to do it at his as its alot to take in and he may be over whelmed and need some tiem to take it in and if needed you can leave go home and you know hes there and safe and can jsut lay and think about things...

    and just remember at teh end of the day the regret of the what if and never knowing constantly hideing your feelings is far worse than telling him , it eats away at you wrecking your insides trust me i know.

    so jsut go for it takeing it slow when its jsut you two and teh setting is neutral

    good luck (*hug*)
     
    #6 Just Adam, Nov 14, 2009
  7. Just Adam

    Just Adam
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    sorry for spelling lol its 3 am haha
     
    #7 Just Adam, Nov 14, 2009
  8. pteen

    pteen
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    Well if you guys are really that close then really the odds of him saying no are slim. With all due respect, I really don't know why you're scared if you both are that close, plus he gay, just ask him out what could happen.

    I have to say your pretty lucky.

    The relationship is kinda like a new house, in a oddly understanding way. You could have everything set up all the firnature packed up and ready you just have to move in. But, if your still not ready then try to start a discusion and psychologically get his opinion of you.

    Up for the challenge. lol :slight_smile:
     
    #8 pteen, Nov 14, 2009
  9. pteen

    pteen
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    And to start a conversation get in an exciting background and just talk about random things. Then you could brag of yourself, looks, personality, stuff like that. But make sound like your joking or something.
     
    #9 pteen, Nov 14, 2009
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