mmm hi,im kinda new here...but,i need help,because...well im really comfused,like I know im gay,but,im dieing to let anyone know,but I can't like,I really want to,but,it seems my parents are more anti gay,which worries me,and im just scared,i want to be me but everyday is like a prison in my own mind...im so stupid!:bang:
You are NOT stupid!! This is YOUR life! You have do what feels right...if telling your parents right now is not the right thing for you, then don't do it. Hopefully you can find ONE person you can trust that you can tell your feelings to. I know exactly how you feel and you are NOT stupid bro. You are 16 now and soon you will be an adult and can live your life for yourself. I wish you the best and if you want you can friend ME and I will be there to hear you. you are NOT alone!!!
oh,ok thanks But the thing is that it kills me not telling my mom,like i use 2 tell her everything,and now its just like,we are falling apart
It's a tough thing man, I know how you feel...I DO!! If you think your Mom will be accepting of you ,then I say you should tell her. If you don't, then it's ok to wait. Right now what is important is that you can feel ok in your own skin. You are not wrong for who you are, you are WHO YOU ARE. It's only a decision you can make, but you have a friend in me and you have a bunch of friends here at EC that know what you're going through and how you feel. Chill bro, we're here for you.
Hi, Ryan, First, welcome to EC and congrats on taking the steps to talk about your situation and be open with yourself, your family and your friends. Second, whether you are gay or straight, every teen experiences a process as they grow older where they begin to 'individuate' which is part of the growing-up process where you begin to have some private thoughts/experiences that you don't necessarily share with your parents. Issues around sexuality are often among the first to emerge in that way. What is it that makes you think that your parents are anti-gay? Have they specifically said things, or is it sort of casual conversations, or what? Do they have any friends or family that you know of who are gay? This sort of thing can offer many clues as to how they might react, so start with answering that and perhaps we can help you more
To Chip,Thank you for welcoming me,its a matter of both,small talk,and just comments they say sometimes,not like alot,but somtimes,I already figured how my mom would act if i told her,she would act like it didnt bother her,when she doesnt think it,and my dad...well i don't no or care for his thoughts. To Gary,I dont feel wrong in my own skin,and,i love who i'am(i think),its just i hate hidding who i'am beause i like fitting in with my freinds and family :eusa_doh: And Thank you both for being here
Ryan, Sometimes family/friends will say things that they might regret (or see in a different light) if they realised how it impacts on a loved one. Sometimes that may not be the case, tho' thankfully, in most places the incidence of that is becoming less. You sound reasonably optimistic that your Mom would be accepting - and that sounds promising. I would suggest that you take a good look at the 'Support & Advice' & 'Coming Out Stories' Forums as they would likely give you some ideas of how other people have faced the same problem and the results they have had. I would also mention that immediate family, especially parents, can often be the hardest people to whom to 'come out'. Sometimes it may be better to start with close & trusted friends (your own generation) whom you strongly believe will be accepting - thus building a network of support before you get to 'the really hard ones' (parents). It's up to you - but if you look through the orums you will see a lot of stories, concerns, ideas & approaches - some of which are bound to strike a chord with your own situation. Psychologically, coming out is not an easy process - but looking at what other people have been through will give you some insight on what may work for your own situation. After all that - Welcome! EC is a fun and (I think you will find) VERY supportive place. I'm sure you'll make friends and find good advice here. :icon_bigg
Welcome to EC! A lot of people choose to come out to a close friend first. If you have a friend that you feel will take the news in stride without freaking out or telling anyone, then go for it. Each friend that you tell will form a support network for you that will be useful when you decide to tell your parents. They will all be there for you afterward, regardless of how things go. Now, as to your parents, the mental part of coming out is definitely the hardest. You have to build yourself up for this. Logically, you're going to be gay whether you tell them or not, right? And one day you might want to date someone of the same sex. Will you be willing to just hide that person away whenever the family is nearby? Probably not. So, this issue will eventually become an issue. It's more a matter of when than if. And you might be worried about your parents being anti-gay. Well, that might be a good reason not to tell them until you have alternate living arrangements, like your own apartment. However, if they don't seem like they would actually kick you out - just that they would be upset - then it just takes realizing that you will have differing opinions on stuff over time. A lot of people turn out quite different from their parents (religion, political, sexual, social) and have to face these divides eventually. Because you happen to be different than them doesn't make them inherently better or you inherently worse. That said, even if they are upset about it, that doesn't mean that it's your fault. They'll get over it in time (mine did), and then you can all move on to bigger and better things.
mmmm i gess,and...I did have a freind that i would tell,but they moved,and...most my freinds are really drama girls so its just grrr...annoying to tell them anything personal. As of my parents,im sure my mom would understand,and i dont really care for what my dad thinks,but,its just the scared part of it,because they are my family
