Ok so here is my issue So I meet this guy online, we'll call him "Ethan", about 2 months ago, and at the time he was in a relationship. It wasn't a problem because he seemed like a great guy and all, so we would talk about things like our family, likes dislikes, accentual things. I really grew to like him as a friend. About three weeks ago to a month, he wanted to meet with me and hang out. I had no problem with it, but it never happened. Shortly after this he broke up with his boyfriend however and me and him started talking. Both wanting to meet up and all.The problem however comes from my end. About a week or 2 ago, I began to be depressed, but felt I couldn't talk to anyone about it, cause all of my friends were having their own issues, or I couldn't get in touch with them. So, as from all of that, I started to talk to him more and more. I wanted to tell him about my issues, but he would bring his own into the picture, and I wouldn't want to make him feel that I was selfish by bringing up my own problems. So I would constantly try to bring attention to him, asking what he was up to, etc. getting really clingy, which I hate to admit. By doing this, he started to pull away, which in turn worried me and made me wanna try and fix it. But the thing is I have no idea how to since this, if it happened, would be my first relationship with a guy. So here's my question, Should I lay it all out, tell him whats been bothering me, including everything about him? Or do I just simply back off, stop talking to him for a few days, and try to start new? Is the relationship still recoverable?
I wouldn't lay it all down at once to him, it might push him away further. Just give it a break for a few days, if he initiates small talk than cool. If he asks why he hasn't heard from you just say, you've been really down lately and just needed some time and that should hopefully open two way communication.
so then I wait until he approaches me? Or wait a few days and try and talk to him? Thats the part I'm nervous about
But wait...he won't really talk to you about your issues and problems, are you sure it's a relationship you want to pursue? Because that's what friends and most certainly a boyfriend is suppose to do- talk to you about your problems and help you. But if you do want to, just wait a few days for him to come to you. If it's been a while and he hasn't contacted you, you can go to him and tell him what's been up.
It's not that he doesn't want to, it's that I'm nervous of telling him about my issues and him being stressed from it. But thanks, this is the advice I needed to hear!
It seems to me the one-sidedness of your relationship, where it was all about his problems is what pushed him away in the first place. What Dare2bProud said is really good advice. I would go with that.
