I haven't been to my home country since coming out to myself, almost two years ago. Now I am there for a vacation, but I am feeling really stressed out because when friends and family ask me "so, what's new about you?" I don't know how to come out to them and I end up feeling I am lying to them. I thought I was comfortable with my being gay, and I always assumed that once here I would come out to people (doing it by e-mail or phone never felt right to me.) But know I am finding it really difficult to find the appropriate moment in the conversation. Some times it's because the conversation changes subjects suddenly, or it's because there isn't the right people or combination of people. But maybe I am not as comfortable as I thought I was, and I am just finding excuses? I am a reserved kind of person, and I don't find it easy to talk about touchy-feely things with others. I really liked Rex' suggestion in other thread about just introducing the topic in a "matter-of-fact" kind of fashion, but I just can't get myself to do it :bang:
I don't think email or phone is necessarily such a bad idea. You'll be given more of an opportunity to say your piece, and you can control who you tell first. Telling someone face to face is important, if it affects them, i.e. a relative dying. But this is about you, and it's not as big as deal as you think it is. Coming out is often anticlimactic.
Hi! Now I know why I haven't heard from you in a while. You are on a vacation....lucky you. I think anyone would be stressed out and perhaps even confused in that kind of a situation. It can be daunting. I don't think anyone would really feel comfortable with having the entire family around the kitchen table and having everybody staring at you while you begin telling them about yourself. But how do you feel in terms of coming out to your friends and family? If you wanted to start coming out to them, maybe what would help is if you talk to them individually? Maybe start with a friend, who you know would be supportive. Do you think it would be easier to talk to your family on a one on one basis?
first off *hug* <3 *hug* because i know it is hard to figure out how to approach this subject. Really its about simply working up the courage and being comfortable and ready to simply take time to go "mom/dad/*friend* i need to talk to you" then progressing into simply telling them. I know it seems very stressful now but don't worry. when u are ready you are ready and when you do tell them i am sure they will be very accepting and it will be a massive weight lifted off your shoulders *hug* and best of luck i am sure it will all turn out fine
I think you'll be even more stressed if your vacation ends and you still haven't come out. I think you'll regret it. So take the opportunity now. If you find yourself alone with the people you want to come out to, tell them that "You have something you'd like to share with them..." and then just tell them. Get it overwith. Because it is what it is. Good luck!
it's ok, you don't have to rush things if your not comfortable with it. You might just want to tell one family member at this trip that you think will be fairly ok with it. it will feel better to have somebody there to talk about it with and they can maybe offer some advice on how they think the rest of the family might react. hope it all goes well
If you're "waiting for the right time", trust me - it never comes. The best way to handle it is to put it in context. You're being asked "What's new?" And that's something that's new. If you have a boyfriend, or an ex-boyfriend, that's an ideal frame of reference. "I just started dating a new guy, and he's pretty cool. We're still kinda getting to know each other, though." Or "I started dating a guy, but he and I ended up not having much in common." Or, if you haven't dated yet, put it in the future. "My next goal is to find a boyfriend, but I'm so out-of-practice with dating that I'm not even sure where to start." Lex
