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He has a boyfriend...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by worldofshrimps, Nov 16, 2009.

  1. worldofshrimps

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    Okay....this is a bit strange and the person is on this forum so...this may be embarrassing....but! I started talking to this guy a few days ago and we really clicked and we never run out of things to talk about. He's a really nice guy and then he tells me he has a boyfriend...don't really know what advice you could give but any suggestions?
     
  2. Just Adam

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    all i can think of is to jsut be happy with him be glad you have a friend and i hope you meet a nice guy :slight_smile:
     
  3. Greggers

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    "Advice"?

    ...

    He has a boyfriend. Thats an instant "Off Limits". You can be, like Adam said, happy for him. You can stay friends with him if thats possible for you, or stop communication if you think your too infatuated. You really dont have any other options though, cause what are you going to do, try and break him up? Hit on him anyways? Nothing good can come of seeking ways to get with a guy who has a boyfriend. Just be happy for him.

    (I mean, i guess you could "wait it out" and see if they break up heh...)
     
  4. Jim1454

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    People can be nice without necessarily wanting to have a relationship with you. Perhaps here on EC we're just more friendly than the average person you'd meet on the street.

    And the fact that he has a boyfriend even though the two of you have lots in common and seem to get along really well just means that someone else got to him first.

    As already mentioned, just be glad to have a good friend. Maybe one day soon you'll want to talk to them about this awesome guy you met and who you hope will be your own boyfriend.
     
  5. Schu

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    What not to do:

    1. Don't be friends with him only to hold out hope that they will break up and you will get to pick up the pieces, that's an incredibly unhealthy friendship right there.

    2. I've let someone cheat on their significant other with me once and once only, and that was one time too many. It makes you feel like shit, and nothing good ever comes out of it. Don't sleep with someone without the consent of everyone that needs to give permission. If you guys do stoke up something romantic, don't pursue it unless and until they break up, and preferably a little later than that too.

    What to do:

    If you can deal with being a friend with someone you seem to be developing feelings for and can ignore the feelings for both of your sakes, be his friend. If you can't, explain to him, try to take it down a notch or three. If that doesn't work, don't be friends.
     
  6. Just Adam

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    all great advice...and i think maybe Ec is nicer than the usual lgbt perosn on teh street...

    or teh ones ive met lol
     
  7. worldofshrimps

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    Thanks guys...yeah I kind of thought about all of this and it makes sense...it just sucks.
     
  8. Lexington

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    Yeah, it kinda sucks. If you need to, put some distance between you two for a bit so you can get your head back in the right spot.

    Lex
     
  9. silas99

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    well firstly one big huge hug for you (*hug*) okay one more just for luck (*hug*)

    I cant say anything more than what other people have said already. Chin up duck, there is someone out there for you and he's just waiting for you to meet him. (*hug*)
     
  10. malachite

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    ARGH! I had the same thing happen to me about a month ago. I know that gut wrenching feeling of seeing someone you really like with another person.

    The bad news is there is no cure for a broken heart, it has to heal on its own. The good news is that it won't hurt forever, and you'll find someone someday.

    oh one more thing: (*hug*)
     
  11. 71390S

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    Awwww.

    It will be okay. And yes, everyone has given great advice. Boyfriend does mean off limits, and if you think just being friends will be too hard give yourself some space :slight_smile:
     
  12. Black Cat

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    It happens to me all the time. Most of the advice I was going to offer has been given above. About all I can add is just give it time to pass. It's not easy, but it will go away if you just keep telling yourself to get over it.