So last time I posted here I was finally "ready" to come out. I even typed up a letter for every member of my family. A couple days before I was going to give everyone my letters a commercial about how saying thats so gay is wrong comes on. My brother said something stupid and i replied about how the commercial is right. He then asked, "Are you gay?" and I said yes (in a kidding tone) but at first he thought I was serious. He then said, "Me too" with the most serious look I have ever seen on his face. Then he turned really red and continued with the conversation about how stupid the commercial is. (Just some background info: my brother is 23 and has never had a girlfriend, never mention girls etc., so it was just always back in my mind, "wouldnt that be funny if he was gay too?"..) After that little conversation with my brother I could barely see straight, i felt like I couldnt breathe, and I was shaking. AKA I knew I wasnt ready. Since then I have really just pushed back and held in everything since then until now. I, myself at least understand I like guys for sure, and have the once in a while crush on a girl. I cant see myself doing anything "more" with a girl, but for some reason I still get really attracted to some girls. I have never really had a crush on a guy in real life until recently. Im not going to pursue anything (he isnt gay) its just nice to finally like someone in real life. idk what im saying but I hope you understand? All my friends joke around that they could never see me dating someone, and that I am asexual to them. (I laugh in my head because if they were in my mind they would be really surprised haha ) Im not really ready to come out to any friends because my highschool just doesnt have the right atmosphere for me to be out and happy at the same time. Im fine with that I guess I just am getting sick and tired of just sitting dormant if you know what I mean.. I guess I dont have a specific question I just really need to let everything out and hear some responses haha :icon_bigg
haha lol Maybe one day.. I feel bad for my parents because they are on my sister that is older than my brother to find a boyfriend. Hope she finds someone soon because my parents want grandchildren
It would be an interesting dinner table if you all brought boyfriends home:eek: I've always kind of thought that my brother should be the gay one and that I should have been straight but I guess that wouldnt have been as much fun.
well if he was being serious, coming out to him might help you as well as him and you'll have each other for support. on the other hand, if he is gay, your parents might find it a little harder to accept that both their sons are gay, thinking that they'll only get grand children from your sister. what kind of people are they? are they religious or conservative?
Remember that you aren't here on earth to make your parents happy. That's not your job. Sure they might be disappointed, but are't we all disappointed about things all the time? If you sister is even older than your brother and she doesn't have a boyfriend either, perhaps you're all gay!
If you do decide on coming out, this might be the motivation for your brother, if he is so as well, to be more open and supportive. You mentioned that you were shaking - these conversations can be so unnerving, I understand completely. I never really 'came out' to my own brother, but at the airport when I was seeing him off to go overseas for college, I handed him the month's Times magazine for him to read - He handed it back to me and said "you might want to read this more" and grinned, pointing to the picture on the top bar for an article about gay community in mainland China. That completely threw me off, and had me shaking for a while. But I've learned since that that siblings can be so open-minded, and you can always be their little brother/sister no matter who you want to be with. So breathe and take your time, it's not a race to come out, and you should certainly do it to your own schedule.
Wow, that actually sounds pretty strange having your brother come out like that. My only sibling is my sister, and I she's possibly a little too young to even think about orientation at the moment, so that's going to be a few years yet. Well, you could always come out to your brother first, then both come out to your parents at the same time? If that would help at all. It may just make it even more awkward, the idea that your brother may have "corrupted" some how. Quite funny when I came out to my parents; first question was whether it had anything to do with my gay friend. Somehow people think that if you have any gay or bi friends, they've corrupted you from being 'normal'. No matter what, wait until you're happy. Thats all you need to do. If it gets to the point where it becomes too painful to hide it from your parents; that may be the point where you tell them. It was for me; so just wait and see I guess. Good luck whatever happens. Oh; and sexuality isn't exact. Just because you may have an occasional crush on a girl or something, doesn't mean that you aren't towards the gay side. The kinsey scale is better for sexuality than just the "Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual" labels.
oh, just to clear things up, my brother hasn't said he is gay. He just kind of went along with the conversation, and I just kind of had a feeling I guess you could say. Also, my parents are religious, but not to the point where they would shun me or anything. They seem to be open people and I know even if they were upset at first they would come around.
i reckon you should try bring this subject up again with your brother to find out if he is gay or not. maybe he doesnt want to say to you incase he thinks you will look badly at him.
