No, I'm not going to help him self-harm, he needs help to stop himself though. You may have seem my post about my transgender friend. Well yes, he's started self-harming, which I know is a real problem. He is having a really difficult time as he's just came to terms with it in himself. I have suggested that we go to the school counsellor, but he doesn't really want to go. So yup, any advice?
Hey! I'm sure you are already doing that, but keep talking with him. Let him know that you are there for him at any time he wants to talk. Let him know that you are worried about him. Try not to push the issue of going to the counselor too much. But bring it up from time to time to see if he has changed his mind about it. Usually those who are transitioning or have transitioned, do have a counselor to talk to and medical staff at a clinic. As you know, it can and is quite often difficult for someone who goes through reassignment surgery to deal with. Often times, not only are they dealing with coming to terms with it all but also with depression. What you could perhaps do, is talking to a counselor at your school and ask if there a few resources in the community that you could mention to him. Do you know if he has any counselors at the moment?
Since you know about the self-harm, I'm assuming you must have a fairly good rapport with him and a level of openness about discussing things. You might consider talking to him about what sorts of things trigger his desire to self-harm. Usually it is traumatic memories, specific types of stresses, and similar things. You haven't described what types of self-harm, and so it would depend on what exactly he's doing, but perhaps one approach -- until he's ready to consider seeing a counselor -- might be harm reduction; encouraging him to explore healthier ways that he can seek to manage or control the feelings that lead to self harm, and healthier behaviors when he is self-harming. For example, perhaps he could consider doing some form or exercise when the urge to self-harm comes up. For some people, the rush (or even the calming effect) they get from some types of self-harm can be replicated with exercise. For others, practicing calming breathing techniques can be helpful. And sometimes, if the person is open to it, starting some form of meditative practice (tai chi, yoga, zen meditation) can provide the calming that will take the edge off of the desire to self-harm. Ultimately, of course, it's driven by inner issues that are best dealt with by a mental health professional but in the meantime, some of the above, if he's open to any of them, might be helpful.
At the moment, he's scratching himself to pieces with his fingernails, but he told me he's considered cutting. He also says he's cutting himself because he hates himself, but it's gotten worse in the last week or so. I'm certain he doesn't have a counsellor at the moment, but I think I'll go the counsellor at school and talk to her about it. She's really good. EDIT: He just told me he's also suicidal and probably would have tried to commit suicide if his younger brother hadn't tried 4 times already.
