I have ADD. Or, more accurately, I'm pretty sure I have ADD. I don't have a diagnosis, but everything that I know about it, and that my mom (an early childhood professional) knows about it, points to me having ADD. This however, is not the problem.. It is simply what I believe to be the source of the problem. The problem is that I seem to be practically unable to do homework. I'm in college now, and I got here, because I'm a good test taker, and I had my mom throughout high school and before to make me do my work. But now a lot of my classes are based on essays and presentations and stuff that requires lots of planning, time, and preparation. And I'm living alone now. I know that if I don't do the work, then I won't pass. I know that means I won't graduate, and that I will have wasted thousands of dollars. I know that means I won't be able to reach my goal of being a teacher. I know all of these things intellectually, but I can't make myself act on them. At least not consistently. If I do my work at all, it is either because I have a personal interest in it, or because it is the very last minute. And even those do not guarantee that I will get the work done. Whenever I have work to do, I always find something else to do. Or even do nothing at all. I waste hours and hours on the internet. Even when I lost my internet in my dorm room (I got caught pirating things) I just spend hours and hours in the coffee shop, or the library. And occasionally I'll convince myself to be more social, and go hang out with friends. I love being in college, and I don't want to get kicked out. I'd also like to be able to graduate in four years, which might not happen if this trend continues. I'm also worried that if I can't establish a work ethic, but still manage to get through college, then I'll be a terrible teacher. I know all the skills that are needed for me to succeed as a student, will be needed for me to succeed as a teacher. I'm going to be getting a job soon, and I don't know if this is going to help or not. Either I will realize I have less free time, and make better use of it. Or I'll just waste as much time as I have been, and never get anything done. As an example, let me explain my current situation. I was supposed to give a 10 minute speech, on Monday. I wasn't ready, so I skipped class that day and was going to have the speech ready for the next class on Wednesday. That class now begins in less than an hour, and I have nothing. After two weeks of not doing any work, on an essay for another class, I changed my topic. It's now something I'm much more interested in, but I'm still behind. I was supposed to have copies of a rough draft to give to peer reviewers on Tuesday, but I didn't and now I have to email them the essay when I get it done. Which I hope will be today. Plus I have my regular work for other classes, finals are coming up, and there are a few classes where I know I won't be ready unless I do some serious studying. It feels like my whole life is comprised of skipping classes or other work, in order to get something done, only to waste the time I have, and get nothing done. I know there are organizational techniques, planners and the like, and I've tried them, but I can never stay committed to a system. I know I'm smart enough to understand and do the work. I just don't know if I have the ability to actually do the work when I'm supposed to. Am I just not cut out for college? Will I ever be able to be a decent teacher? Will I ever get a boyfriend? (sorry, wrong life crisis) Thanks for giving my the space to rant. I think just writing all this out has helped a little. Any advice, tips, condolences, pep talks, etc. you can offer will be much appreciated.
I think that it's really good you've realized this that's probably the first step i suppose don't make yourself stick to a planner as such you obviously understand that most work does need to be done so when you've been on the internet for so long, or something put about an hour aside to get some done and gradually do it that way mix play and work a teacher is a good job to aim for but apparently any good job is competitive you seem smart enough to go for it so let yourself go for it
Then you'd better look for another one - and stick to it. We are all guilty of this to some degree. You're not alone. But I sense that the more you worry about it, the worse the situation gets. For me - I make lists. That helps me get organized. But then I actually have to do the work - and that's not as easy. But having the list helps. Break stuff down into smaller pieces that aren't overwhelming. Take half an hour to do one of them. Cross it off. Reward yourself (if necessary) with a break, and do something else aftwards. It really is that simple. You know when you're not doing what you need to do. And instead of getting even more worked up about it, simply get started. Starting now, even if it isn't as good as starting yesterday, is better than starting tomorrow, or not starting at all.
Do you maybe have any creative hobbies? Like music, art, writing, crafts, decorating or something? I've always heard, "Make a career out of something you'd always enjoy doing and that doesn't require you to wake up and go 'crap, I have to go to work?' "
What you're describing doesn't sound like ADD to me. It sounds more like for one reason or another, you never had the necessary encouragement and structure to develop good study habits. As Jim said, we all procrastinate to some extent, but the key is implementing some sort of structure that helps you get past the procrastination. Sometimes setting yourself a precise schedule, and tying it to specific goals helps. You can say "I'm going to start on my speech at 10AM and I"m not going to do anything else, no matter how tempting, until I have at least half of it written." And don't allow *any* excuses or distractions. Or you can do a variation of that where you allow yourself 10 minutes -- but no more than that- of distraction every hour, and use a timer with an alarm to let you know when your break is up. You might also consider seeing a therapist; it's possible there's some sort of underlying issue going on psychologically that's inhibiting your ability to accomplish and study and focus.
To answer Rae's question, I'm a slam poet (competitive performance poetry) but I don't really have any interest in turning that into a career. It's really only viable if you do the touring poet thing, which I don't currently have the networking, or poetry skills to pull off. I like teaching, I just am afraid I won't be able to handle having stacks of papers to grade. Teachers may not make much money, but they make consistent money, and that's important to me. I'm bad enough with money as it is. You gave a lot of good advice, Chip, thanks a lot. I'll definitely look into some of the things you suggested (we have pretty affordable counseling on my campus) Thanks everyone for your feedback. I'm off to write a paper.
