Basically, my mother is a crackwhore, and I need to get the fuck out of here before the crap hits the fan, so to speak. My solution is to go live with my dad in Texas for the next semester. This will hopefully wake my mom up and make her realize that she has to change. And next summer, I'll come back to evaluate the situation and see if she's turned things around. If things are better, I'll move back. If not, I'll just stay with my dad until they are. I've been talking to him on the phone and he's 100% supportive of this plan. The problem is that he's not sure how to go about it, legally anyway. He and I both agree that my mom isn't going to let me go live with him without resistance. I think I can convince her if I rationalize with her and sort of lay it all out on the table, if you know what I mean. Even if she were to let him have temporary custody, however, he doesn't think that will really solve anything, especially since she won't be ready to give up the child support that he's been paying her. So, I just want to know if anyone knows anything about parents attempting to gain temporary custody of their kids.
Well, there are several ways to move forward with this. One is to legally emancipate yourself from your parents. If you can get emancipated, you can choose who you want to live with (or choose to live with neither one). However, the downside is that it also revokes responsibility both ways. They don't have to take you in or provide anything for you from then on. I would only use this as a last resort. I'm assuming your parents are divorced or separated considering you talked about custody and your dad being in Texas. Filing for temporary custody would be the best idea in this scenario. It would give him the legal responsibility for your well-being without the risk of a kidnapping charge if your mom is cracked out and decides to claim you were kidnapped. The other option is to tell your mom in one of her more lucid moments what this is doing to you and that you are going to leave if it continues. Some parents need a strong wake-up call from their children in order to get better. But if it doesn't seem to phase her, or she relapses after a brief stint of sobriety, it's not your fault, and you have no reason to stay there. Most interventions involve this sort of ultimatum. If she continues on her path of self-destruction, she needs to know that you're going to have to remove yourself from her life until she makes a change. Whatever route you choose, good luck. This is a rough break. (*hug*)
I've been discussing this with my boyfriend for a while, who is a little bit older than me, and would most likely be able to take care of me better than either one of them. I would love to be emancipated, not because I'm one of those rebellious teens headed down a road filled with failed GED tests and drug problems, but rather because I'm almost certain that I would be fine without them. I've practically taken sole care of myself for the past year; I think I could do it for the next three years without much of a problem. However, I don't think this is an option that either of them would like or be willing to support at all. They were never married to each other. They broke up before I was born and ended up marrying different people later on.
Is a judge involved at all with your current custody arrangement? Given that your dad provides child support, the amount comes from a judge or the court, right? I'd say that if your mom balks at your plan, you could threaten to go to the judge--or court or child/family services or whatever--and detail the situation (mom=crackwhore) to them.
hmmm,well,you steel seem really young,how would you...make money?or have you ben doing that as well?because I know how horible thing can be,but...living on your own at such a young age can't be good for you
No, there's not really a court-ordered custody agreement of any sort at the moment. For my entire life it's been agreed without debate between the two of them that I would live with my mom and stay with him for a few weeks every summer.
I am sorry you are going through this. Regardless of your ability to care for yourself, it is highly unlikely that a court will legally emancipate you. If there is no court order, your dad has the same legal rights to custody as your mom. If your mom is on crack, she is not fit to act as a parent to you right now, and she would not be likely to prevail if she tried to get a court to grant her custody (that is assuming your father does not also have any similar issues). Your parents should discuss this and try to reach an agreement. If that is not possible, it may mean that you and your dad need to make a decision as to what is in your best interest, which may mean living with him. He can file a petition with the Arkansas court seeking custody of you, based on your mom’s drug problem and inability to care for you. The local clerk of court should have forms available to help him file the papers. Another option is for you to simply go live with him. Your mom would then have to file papers seeking custody and establishing it is in your best interest to live with her. Again, with a serious drug problem, that may be a difficult burden for her to meet. Another option is for you to contact the local child protective services agency, perhaps in conjunction with your dad, and seek their intervention. This last approach may create some real issues because you then have the state stepping in to potentially assume responsibility for your safety, which may mean you wind up in a foster home or a group home until they are comfortable that your dad can provide a safe home for you.
I think s5m1's advice is right on the money. If your mom is truly addicted to crack, or is otherwise abusing drugs, and particularly if your child support is going in part to fund her addiction, then she is pretty clearly not a fit parent and it is likely that your living situation would be judged inappropriate for you. Matters are complicated by the financial aspects; even if your mom realizes she can't do the best by you, she will probably, particualrly if she has the typical addict's mind, be unwillling to give up the money that comes from her having custody. So getting a reasonable agreement may not be easy. You might try having a neutral third party (therapist / social worker ) talk to both parents and essentially convince your mom that the best and really only choice is for her to let you go live with your dad, and to give up the child support. This may have to be done with an either/or... "Well, you're clearly not able to properly care for him, so either you give him up to his father voluntarily, or I am going to be obligated, under my professional code, to report you to child protective services, and that may involve criminal action against you and your son being put into foster." It's a common technique that interventionists use when working with addicts and essentially strongarming them to go into treatment, and it is remarkably effective. It would be nice if, in the process, someone can also encourage your mom to get help. If she is using crack, it is not easy to give up without some sort of professional assistance. If none of the above is practical, I would probably vote for your just going to live with your dad. Most likely, at age 15, if a court becomes involved, they will place heavy influence on what you want, and if it can be demonstrated that your mother has a substance abuse problem, then that plus your desire to live with your dad should pretty much make it open-and-shut.
Your dad could take your mom to court for custody of you. You would have to testify infront of a judge that you would rather live with your father.
There's no court-mandated custody agreement. If there's no court-mandated custody agreement, then there's not really too big of an issue. Unless there's a court order, the child support money is not required and is not a legal mandate, so at that point, if you want to move in with your dad and your dad wants to have you, there shouldn't be a problem legally. Make sure you document everything. Keep an email chain running in regards to your desire to move in with him nd his willingness to provide for you. If you have a cell phone, make sure you call your dad every so often (if you're not already) and stay in touch. If you have a good paper trail, and your mom tries to report you as having been kidnapped, you and your dad can pull the email chain and the phone records and show that it wasn't a kidnapping at all. Remember, though, that my advice is about as good as that of Perry Mason, as I'm not a real lawyer.
Please see the Arkansas Attorney General's Opinion at the link below. It addresses the issue of parental custody when the parents were never married. It is very important and you should read it. http://ag.arkansas.gov/opinions/docs/2001-229.html HTML: Opinion No. 2001-229 September 26, 2001 The Honorable Shane Broadway State Representative 201 S.E. 2d Street Bryant, AR 72022-4025 Dear Representative Bryant: I am writing in response to your request for an opinion concerning A.C.A. §§ 9-10-113 (regarding legal custody of a child born to an unmarried woman) and 5-26-502 (establishing the offenses of “interference with court-ordered custody” and “interference with custody.”) It appears from correspondence attached to your request that the question in this regard involves the applicability of A.C.A. § 5-26-502 in a case where an alleged biological father, whose paternity has not been established, takes physical custody of an illegitimate child from the mother without her consent. You have asked whether there should be an enforcement of § 5-26-502 in that situation. RESPONSE It is my opinion that this decision must be made by the prosecuting attorney, in the exercise of his prosecutorial discretion. While it is my opinion that A.C.A. § 5-26-502(a)(2)(A)[1] could possibly apply in this situation, the criminal charges, if any, that may be appropriate are dependent upon all of the relevant facts and circumstances of the case. Decisions about whether to prosecute, who to prosecute, and what charges to bring are left to the sound discretion of the prosecuting attorney of the jurisdiction. This office has no authority over such matters. As you have pointed out, A.C.A. § 9-10-113 (Repl. 1998) establishes a statutory presumption of custody in the mother of an illegitimate child. See also Norwood v. Robinson, 315 Ark. 255, 866 S.W.2d 398 (1993). Subsection (a) of § 9-10-113 states: When a child is born to an unmarried woman, legal custody of that child shall be in the woman giving birth to the child until the child reaches the age of eighteen (18) years unless a court of competent jurisdiction enters an order placing the child in the custody of another party.[[2]] Arkansas Code Annotated § 5-26-502, as amended by Act 1553 of 2001 (see n. 1, supra), states as follows under subsection (a)(2)(A): (a)(2)(A) A person commits the offense of interference with custody if, without lawful authority, he or she knowingly or recklessly takes or entices, or aids, abets, hires, or otherwise procures another to take or entice, any minor or any incompetent person from the custody of: (i) The parent of the minor or incompetent person; (ii) The guardian of the minor or incompetent person; A public agency having lawful charge of the minor or incompetent person; or (iv) Any other lawful custodian. (B) Interference with custody is a Class C felony. As you have pointed out, another subsection of A.C.A. § 5-26-502 establishes the offense of “interference with court-ordered custody.” A.C.A. § 5-26-502(a)(1)(A) (as redesignated by Act 1553 of 2001). It would seem, however, that this provision is inapplicable in the case of an unmarried mother whose custody of her child flows from A.C.A. § 9-10-113, because there is no actual “court-ordered custody” in that instance. The question has thus arisen regarding the applicability of § 5-26-502(a)(2)(A). The plain language of § 5-26-502(a)(2)(A) indicates to me that this criminal provision might apply if a biological father whose paternity has not been established takes a child from the custody of a mother who has legal custody by virtue of A.C.A. § 9-10-113. She would presumably be the minor’s “lawful custodian” (§ 5-26-502(a)(2)(A)(iv)), and it is possible that the alleged biological father would have no “lawful authority” to take the child. There are, however, factual determinations to be made in this regard. Additionally, whether the various elements of this offense are established is a matter to be decided by the prosecuting attorney. Prosecuting attorneys have the discretion whether or not to prosecute and what charge or charges to file if they do choose to prosecute. See generally Rothrock v. Walker, 197 Ark. 846, 125 S.W.2d 459 (1939) and Venhaus v. Brown, 286 Ark. 229, 691 S.W.2d 141 (1985). Because this office has no authority or jurisdiction in such matters, I am unable to conclusively resolve this question concerning the enforcement of § 5-26-502. Ultimately, this decision rests with the prosecuting attorney. Assistant Attorney General Elisabeth A. Walker prepared the foregoing opinion, which I hereby approve. Sincerely, MARK PRYOR Attorney General MP:EAW/cyh [1]The subsections in § 5-26-502 were redesignated by Act 1553 of 2001, § 11. Subsection (a) (2) (A) was formerly designated as subsection (b) (1). See A.C.A. § 5-26-502 (Repl. 1997). [2] The biological father may petition for an award of custody, provided he has established paternity in a court of competent jurisdiction. A.C.A. § 9-10-113 (b).
Here is the Arkansas Statute on this issue. It says that the mother has custody of a child born to unmarried parents unless the father petitions the court for custody. Your father should consult an Arkansas family attorney for specific advice on what to do.
