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What to do..

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Regnbue, Nov 19, 2009.

  1. Regnbue

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    Some weeks ago I joined a small club at school with only three members (+ myself). The girls there are all from 10th grade, and I do really like them a lot. We're having fun togheter and stuff, something I hadn't had in a long time. But my problem is one girl, Marie, told me today that Marianne (Both from the club. Marianne's a bisexual 10th grader who just moved here from the other side of the country) had a chrush on me, but I don't feel the same way for her. I've actually chrusing on Marie, who's straight (She says) and has a boyfriend. She also told me she had a small chrush on me when we started to get to know each other, but said that she had been thinking a lot about liking a girl, and that she came to the conclusion that she didn't like girls that way. I find that quite hard to believe, because it seemed like she were bi or just bi-curious or something like that.

    But the thing is; if Marianne suddenly were going to tell me she likes me, I wouldn't know what to do. If I told the truth to her and said I didn't feel the same, everything would become so terrible awkward, and it hurts to be told the person you like don't feel the same, I don't want to hurt her.

    What to do?
     
  2. Pepsi

    Pepsi Guest

    Well you can't lie to her. If you don't feel that way about her then you shouldn't pretend to and you shouldn't lead her to believe you could.
     
  3. Jim1454

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    I'd say - do nothing. Well - almost nothing.

    You should prepare yourself for that question - and have a tactful and respectful answer ready. It doesn't have to result in her being crushed if you don't like her.

    You might also want to be careful not to send her false signals that you do like her.
     
  4. Mirko

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    Hi there! As Jim mentioned, you should prepare for the possibility that she might let you know as to how she feels about you. All you really can do is being honest with you and let her know in a tactful and nice way that you don't have the same feelings for her. If you like her and look forward to spending time with her as a friend let her know that too. Like this you minimize the impact of your answer on your friend, because you still give her something to hang on to.

    As for your own crush on your other friend, believe Marie when she says that she has thought about girls but came to the conclusion that she doesn't have any feelings for girls. If she is bi-curious or questioning her sexual identity, she needs to come to terms with it in her own way. If you can don't question it. Perhaps try to move on from your crush as best as you can. Try to widen your circle of friends, try to get to know a few other people so that you can gain a bit of distance from her.

    Hope this helps a bit.
     
  5. Regnbue

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    Thanks. I'm grateful for every answer. ^^