well since i lost my best friend bc im gay which i understand its not my fault im thinking about getting a boyfriend.but im not out yet which will make it alot harder.i realy feel lonely.but i think im ready to fall in love i know what im going to do for my future but i need someone that will be there for me in what ever as i will do the same too.the thing is i dont even have a gay friend\s.i wish i had a boyfriend so i can talk to him about us and the things that come at us in life.but i find it kind of wierd that im ready for a boyfriend but not ready to come out. i have everything but love from\for a guy that i love.if i had a boyfriend i would love him and hang out with him and share so many ups and downs,sadness and laghters.(big sigh)wow im fantasizing:b.i wish i wasnt loney if i was gay and proud and out i would help\and stand up for all my friends that would be getting bashed emotionally and tell them its ok.just wanted to write out my feelings.this sucks i have no one to go out with anymore.oh well one day one day
i don't want to sound mean, but i don't think you're ready to have a boyfriend just yet. i went through the same thing right before i came out of the closet where i thought i could have a secret boyfriend and things would work and all that, but after coming out i realized that it never could have. secrets generally make relationships tougher to work through, so having a relationship that is secret to begin with is just torture, i sorta had one while i was closeted. in the end i felt completely used and heartbroken. since the relationship was a secret, we had trouble talking about it even to each other because there's so much paranoia and fear involved in it. even now, after coming out, i want a boyfriend, but i still don't know if i'm really ready. you need to build up confidence and security with yourself first. be fine alone, then you can be fine with someone else. and of course, always take my advice with a grain of salt because i am definitely not an all knowing authority. i wish you luck, and i hope things get easier for you.
Never was a truer thing said that "before you love someone else, you must love yourself" Sounds trite, but the basic meaning is that if you are not happy with yourself as you are, a relationship would be doomed. If you are secure in yourself, then a relationship is a good idea. It's one of those cruel paradoxes that when you need a partner the most, you are least likely to be able to get or keep one. But it is true. The biggest problem would be that when you do get a boyfriend, he's stepping into your fantasy, and he won't be able to live up to it. Not that I think you have crazy standards or anything, but it seems you want to share everything with a boyfriend, where in fact when a relationship starts, that would scare many many people away. It is the emotional closeness that he won't neccesarily be able to live up to. Try to get the fantasy a bit more realistic. Love is never perfect and never the way you dream it will be.
It's the same with me. I've had four boyfriends, but I've been closeted to my parents during each one, and each time it wound up failing. Why? I had to lie when my mom would call me which probably offended him, I had to basically kick my boyfriend out of my place when my mother said she was on her way to my place to waste some time before an appointment. As a result I'm sure that ticked him off despite what he said because he was getting in the mood and also just like I couldn't have him next to me in bed when my mom was going to come over. It was just a frustrating day...but yeah keeping a secret boyfriend is the worst thing one should do. Give it time and while you might think it would work, you would be MUCH better to wait until you're out.
what if i were to move out or go to another state to live.bc i dont think i want to\would do that for a very long time its just so scary things wont be the same.but anyways im looking for gay friends in my area and i feel like doing that is my first little step on giving people a clue. reply to all
