I just can't say it out loud!

For me, I've hesitated to say that I'm gay, especially when I'm first coming out to people. What I found helpful though, was to start out 'easier' by saying things that were true but not quite so descriptive. Example being that I started off by admitting to myself that I "wasn't straight." From there, as I began coming out to more people I was able to accept myself more readily and make that final push towards full self esteem and feel comfortable calling myself gay. I would advise to take the process slow, work up the self esteem and courage on your own time. (I did it by writing in a moleskine and weighing all the feelings I had on the subject).

 

When you're in the closet, you put up a kind of wall - most people kind of train their inner filters to not let the word "gay" get past, in case they accidentally say it and have their sexuality revealed or even suspected. Now that you're in the process of coming out, you still have that filter in place. Maybe you could start by just saying it out loud to yourself - look at yourself in a mirror, and tell yourself "I'm gay". Once you feel a bit more comfortable with that, try enlisting your friends who you're out to, and say it to them over the phone, or over MSN. The more you say it, the more comfortable with the word you'll be. Good luck

 

Hey, I have the same problem so you're not alone here. 5 of my friends know that I am gay, and I told them through a letter, it was still hard, i took 3/4ths of the letter to actually say that i'm gay. It's really hard to admit something like that then say it out loud to everyone. It's almost like saying it out loud is going to make it true, and that can be difficult to come to terms with. I know i'v accepted my sexuality personally, I'm completely okay with being gay, but I'v never had to live outside of myself with that knowledge. People knowing that I am gay is going to mean that i'll be able to be public with my thoughts and emotions, which is great, but really scary at the same time. I try to tell myself every so often that I am gay. When I look in the mirror to say it when no one else is home, i still cant say it very loud, it feels weird to say. So you're not alone in not being able to say it!

 

coming out to yourself is the toughest part of the process. Try looking at yourself in the mirror, think it "I'm gay...I am gay" then when you can speak it.

It's hard, but it is all part of the process.

 

I hear ya. Having a ton of internalized homophobia myself, I looked at myself in the mirror and worked from saying, "I'm bisexual, to I'm queer to... I'm gay." It took a few months moving from bi to gay though simply to admit it to myself. Then it took longer to tell others.

*hug* You're not alone though. Having all these barriers put up by "society" sucks. No one ever wants to be judged from what I've seen.

 

I had the same problem when I started coming out. The first time I said the words 'I'm gay' to somebody else (who I had already told I was "maybe attracted to guys") I hesitated before I managed to force the words out. It was something about actually being open after hiding for so long, and the fact that once I said the truth, I couldn't take it back. But I got over that, and, like people have already said, going along to my university's LGBT society and meeting other people who were out really helped. I also looked in the mirror a few times and told myself I was gay.

So dont worry, it seems to happen a lot, and like most things, coming out gets easier with practice!

 

I was going to say something along these lines. Saying out loud to someone means that you can't take it back. Once you've told someone you're gay that information about you has now left the inside of your head and is now a part of your external environment too. That is a big change.

It gets easier.

But it takes time.

I started to come out 3 years ago, and only in the last little while am I actually comfortable telling people that aren't really close to me that I'm gay.

 

This is how I was. I started out with "I'm not straight," went to "I'm bi...please oh please god let me be bi," then to, "I'm gay and I hate this part of myself." It wasn't until almost my sophomore year in college when I was able to think, "I'm gay, and I am happy." I had a bunch of internalized homophobia because of the attitudes of many of my friends in high school. Plus, being gay meant I totally had to readjust my life plan. I was just so scared to be who I really was and hoped that maybe if I just waited long enough, I would be attracted to girls. It wasn't until I met my boyfriend that I was actually 100% ok with being gay. After I met him, I was more than ok with being gay...I was thankful for it, because if I was not gay, I would not have this wonderful guy in my life whom I love so much, and who loves me back.

All I can say to the original poster is what other people have about getting in front of the mirror and telling yourself, "I am a good person, and I am gay." Just tell yourself this all the time, and hopefully it will help you overcome whatever is preventing you from actually verbalizing the fact that your gay.

 

Kevin's got the right idea. If you can't say it to others, you're probably still having problems saying it to yourself. Say it to yourself until "I'm gay" sounds like "I'm six feet tall". Where it's a datum, not a confession. At that point, you'll be ready to tell others.

Lex

 

I wish you the best of luck, I'm in the same boat but when I told my cousin, I tried to kinda plant seeds in his head with what I was saying until he went "so, are you gay?" this kinda helps if you are having trouble saying it if repeating "I'm Gay" to yourself doesn't work because if you make people ask, all you have to say is yes.
like I said, GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS