my fucking father came over this afternoon and well hes fucked up my sisters relationship with the family hes turned her against everyone and i was so tempted to say hey dad guess what ur sons gay and destroyed as much of his life as he destroyed of mine and my familys. i know its not right to come out in anger but i really hate him so much. what can i do?
I'm not in particularly good terms with my father either. His main problem is the opposite - he doesn't do anything. Sometimes weeks pass without me seeing him. He is not very gay-friendly either. I know I shouldn't, but I just ignore him most of the time. When I talk to him he always manages to say hurtful things so I simply avoid him. This way we both live better: he is absent from my life like he has always been and I don't have to deal with my homophobic father. I would not recommend coming out right now. I'd wait until things cool down. However, I don't know anything about the situation. If you want to talk, feel free to do so publicly or privately. My contact information is available here.
If there's one thing I know, it's that coming out to your parents in anger only worsens the situation. If you aren't on speaking terms with your dad, it would be best to wait until you are on speaking terms with him to come out to him. If you want to some out to him, it's best to do it at a time when you are both relaxed and laid back.
Being estranged is tough. But lashing out with anger is not going to be helpful. Keep in mind also, hate can have a bit of an opposite affect on you, as you expend energy on it, thus giving it power, that power can eventually make you become what you hate.
my arsehole of a father has used all his chances of the past years and he just blew his last so to me he is no longer my father, i will never talk to him again. it would have been the same outcome if i had come out to him at another time he wouldnt have talked to me so at least im ending it on my teerms 4 once
