I really think I'm almost ready to come out of the closet.... but where is a good spot to find guys my age. I want a straight acting just regular guy like myself and every time i read about gay clubs and bars in my area it sounds like a bunch of creepy old guys that just want sex. Where are the normal guys out there?!!
Here's an idea, and don't take the wrong idea. But to put it simply....don't search. You'll never find him if you search, all you'll find are guys who want your you know what, or theirs inside you. Simple as that dude. Don't search, let him find you.
i've just about given up on searching. it doesn't work. and yeah, there are a bunch of old creepy guys at clubs and bars, but that's not all there are, there are some people just like you there, i mean, what are the odds of you really being the only one right?
Hi there! If you feel that you are almost ready to start the coming out process, I would recommend that you start the coming out process first. Once you have started coming out, it is also going to be 'easier' to find guys around your age. I would try to take it one step at a time as all of this is going to be a 'life changing' experience for you. As part of your coming out process and building a strong support network, which is always good to have, maybe try joining a LGBT support group. Are you studying at a college or university? If so, you could try finding a support group on campus. If it is well run, they can very supportive. LGBT support groups are also a good place to find guys around your age. You could also try finding a support group in your community, such as PFlag or another support group. Often times support groups have also social events that tend to attract not only members but also others from the community. But not to worry. Normal gay guys are out there!
I agree. Searching for a guy before coming out seems like you are seeking a guy for the wrong reasons. I would conisider the people who can best keep your secret, and who you think will be supportive, and hope for the best. Build your confidence first.
i look at soooo many of these threads just hoping that someone has a miracle answer. but nope, no miracle answer.
There never will be. There isn't like some sonar or tracking device that tells you who your soul mate is, nor can you get their soul stones and put them together with yours like in Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Simple as that. We just have to let the world take us where it will take us.
Ha ha ha nice sabrina the teenage witch reference! Yeah, i mean I may only be in the process of coming out, but i'm finally okay with people knowing or finding out that i'm gay, but I'm finding that gay guys just kindof come out of the woodwork when you're out. Guys will feel more comfortable to approach you knowing that you are in fact gay. So dont worry about it dude, just relax do what you want and dont look. Dont set your standards real high either, which it seems like you're doing... Let it be possible that you fall for a guy who's maybe a bit more feminine than you. I'm not saying that's who you'll end up with but it is something you should be open to, after all, you are looking for a gay guy, not a straight guy (i hope).
hmm,i do not want to make it past 18,without everyone knowing,it's ma goal,no offence,but i find it very dred when you are in your like 30's,and are still in the processe of coming out,and I do not want that to be me
thats why you should come out first. Seeking a guy first may seem like it will make it easier, but it usually doesnt... plus, is it really fair that you are seeking a guy to basically use to come out further. people rarely ever find their true love the first time they cast their net. Putting yourself out there as a gay man isnt easy, but you are going to find that alot of guys are not really interested in someone who isnt out, or already in the process of coming out. From what it seems, you are seeking to use a guy to come out further, an that is kind of unfair. What makes you so sure that it would be easier to find a guy, then come out? At the end of the day, why not come out first to people you can trust. that way, you can find people who will be supportive of you. Romance in the real world rarely is like the movies. I think you have a high chance of getting yourself hurt by finding a guy when it seems your arent ready to come out openly to the people already in your life.
you guys are right when you say that searching doesn't help much. it doesn't. but letting him find you doesn't help much either. you have to put yourself out on the scene, make sure people know who you are and what you are interested in. 'cause if that one guy doesn't know your out and ready and where you are, then he's never going to find you.
Well I'm a straight acting gay guy, and I just came out of the closet recently (surprising for everyone, so I must be straight acting; they all say I have no gay tendencies)...anyways, yea I'd probably recommend coming out to somebody or a few people before trying to find someone. But as everyone else says, searching probably isn't the best way to find someone...maybe because searching seems like an act of desperation and easily wooed, where as single and going with it makes you find the right guy and I feel like it opens your standards and options more because your not so eager to find "somebody". But, I don't really have any gay friends...I have one female lesbian friend that lives in a different city, and an acquaintance from my old job in the same city as my lesbian friend. They both want to take me to the gaybars, as like you, I am somewhat hesitant about it...probably just haven't left my wall down or whatever yet and it's all still new to me. Which brings me to my point, that straight acting gay guys probably will be at the bar - because I would like to find someone too, although I'm sure there's way better places to look then a gay bar - I just feel like there would be a lot of hot sluts there Good luck!
