I don't know what's wrong with me,it seems like everything is changing,I know things are suspose to as you grow older,but I can't take this,this isn't right! School,you know,i use to be a+b student,im now strugling,extreamly bad,i'am...failing at my life,and i'am cluless,at time I say i'am content,but i know i'am not!and i just lie to myself,Which brings me to my friends,I still got most of them,but you know,they say freindsships break apart?No,i can't let that happen,It kills me to see a friend that I had 4 for years,pass me in the hall,without saying a word,or aknolaging each other...:tears: Im always trying to put others first,and maybe thats my flaw,but i need a change,latly I have ben fighting tons with my parents,that kills me!i had it,and it brings me down every single time,hmmmm,maybe im just over exceding everything,and i just need to chill,but this isnt right,if I were to compare my life from elementry,to middle school,and to know highschool,it's just harder daily,and...it's just my fault!I'am failing at everything,frieds,school,family,chores...and...its all my...fault...!:tears:
Not really,I can be very bright,and im constantly talking to people,so I always try to make it seem like im happy...I gess i just always wear a mask,and truthfully,im extreamly tired.I'am not yet,but...im sure it'll led there,i gess as long as i got my mask,everything is k... -puts mask on-
Awe Ryan. sounds like Highschool HELL. hm. wich is the standard feeling for a lot of ppl. Im sorry. IT will get better. Ppl are naturally selfish, incconciderate and do everythign at the cost of others, ppl who dont are what a good person is, fighting the average frame of mind. If you let ppl drag you down itll only get harder cuz there will always be SOMEbody who will try and wreck something for you or wrecks it by accident. If you allow everybdy to get to you you will have a very hard time. Lifes about adjusting to where you are stuck at and getting to the next step. Talk to me if you eed something dude but cheer up Ryan :]
Trust me your mask will wear out eventually.. At work the times I smile and joke.. but outside of work I'm actually depressed.
omg,i feel so emberessed,I was listening to Your Gaurdian Engel By Red jumpSuit while reading this,and i started tearing up...god,thank you...I always stand out as the strong one,i have ben every since i was a kinda,for family issues,and now,im just completly powerless,its...pitiful
^^ Ry, crying can actually be a GOOD thing... It's a release for your emotions I guess? I know exactly how you feel and exactly what your going through. My advice? Take a step back. Breathe in. Breathe out. Stand up, go outside and go for a walk or something. Don't come back until you feel a bit better. Sadly enough, the quote I live my life by? "That without remedy should be without regard, What is done is done." Shakespeare. Yes. I am incredibly sad like that... But seriously? It works. Don't let stuff that happened get to you, live for now.
mmm...thanks cal,nd everyone else heh,il get over this,the mask just got a scratch...but i got it polished...ill be fine,or,i will look like im fine...
Hi there! Going by your first post, it seems that quite a few things are going on in your life at the moment. Maybe try to take things day by day. Sometimes friends have their own things to worry about and are consumed by their thoughts, which might help to explain why your friend didn't say anything to you when he/she passed you in the hall way. Did you have a chance to talk to your friend since then? Putting 'always' others first, can become overwhelming at times, because it does take a lot of energy out of you. Putting others first also means being constantly there for them. Maybe you need to start putting yourself first and make sure that your needs are met as well. If you don't mind me asking, why are you fighting with your parents? If you feel that things become overwhelming, maybe try talking with a counselor at your school who might be able to help you to get things back on track.
yes,I have sen the friend,it's just an overall thing,I hate lossing the people I held close,but,i know you have to let them go! And I fight with my mom over the stupidest things,see,she is like the laziest clean-o-halic you will ever find,and since my dad was gone as a kid,I BECAME man of the house,my older brother was n a private school,so it was ALWAYS RYAN RYAN RAYN GRRRR 3...2...1... sorry,but anyways,im sick of it now,she asks me to do stuff,I do,but,not good,and she's tired of me being "lazy" and "half-assing" things...and im tired of jsut everything,i think i just give up,I fail...at everything,no helping it i gess
But my dad is back now,oohhh goody -.- no,i hate him for leaving me,we r buddy buddy sometimes,but he left as a kid,when i needed him,when my mom clearly needed him,so i gota b the fucking man,a fucking5-10 year old isnt a fucking man!huuuu i jus neda chill
Ryan, I'm sorry to hear about your dad leaving you when you were little. (*hug*) I think it would be good if you could make an appointment with a counselor at your school. I think it could really help you in talking about things. It seems that you have a lot of anger within you which can have an impact on how you relate to others and on your performance in school.
hmmm,i never really liked counclers,i always found it emberassing to go to one,how do you talk to them,what do you even do???
Ryan, I used to feel the same way. I never thought I could talk to a counselor. I was always the strong one too, never worrying about how I felt or what I needed. Just like you, I was always trying to do things for others. But, I learned from my counselor how to look after my needs too. You have needs that have to be met. Sometimes, it is hardest to do those things for ourselves. Maybe that is part of why you are feeling so down. The great thing about a counselor is that you just talk about stuff. You can start out slow and get to know him/her and eventually work up to things. They are easy to talk to. It took me years before I pushed myself to see one. It was also the best decision I ever made and allowed me to live a much happier life. Maybe just give it a try once and see what you think.
There is nothing embarrassing about going to a counselor. It is their job to listen to you. When you speak with a counselor, everything that you do say is kept confidential. It is just between the counselor and you. During a counseling session, you can usually start talking about whatever you like or is bugging you. For example, you could start by saying, "My feelings are all over the place at the moment. I feel there's a lot of change going on in my life, and I'm not sure how to handle all of it at the moment." From there, go deeper into what is bugging you. Maybe talk about the fact that your dad left you when you were a kid and that he is back again, but you feel that something isn't right. You might start feeling a bit uncomfortable the first time around, but as you keep talking you will become more comfortable. As you start talking, a counselor might ask you to pause and to go deeper into something that you have mentioned. If you feel uncomfortable to begin the conversation, write it all out, as you have done here, and give it to the counselor to read it over. The counselor might also ask you a few follow up questions, which will allow you to reflect on things and also to go deeper. The counselor might also give you a few suggestions as to what you could try or how you might approach things. Talking with a counselor can be very helpful. Often times when we hear ourselves talking about things that are going on in our life we can piece things together. Hope this helps a bit.
Yes it has helped,and i mite try to see one,i still get the awkward feeling from them comsidering my mom is one,sorry i forgot to add that,but she works for a company,so i gess i can try da school 1
Dear Ryan, Life sucks. The only advice I can give you is not to get a job. That will make your life 10x worse. If you ever feel like you're going to kill yourself (and you probably will feel like that at some point) or you just need someone to talk to then private message me, or post somethin on my wall, Life sucks, yours truely, Carl.
aaahh,thats horrible advice lol,it mite be truth,but advice is suspose 2 b cheerful,or at least hit homerun by the way,sorry i posted this,it jus kinda sliped,im better now
