I just want to come out now, but I still care what they are going to say, but enough is enough. Being in the closet is now being too much trouble for me than being out. I just want to wait until January, since its the holidays now, and I rather wait until it's a new year... I don't want to ruin it, if my family takes it badly. I actually want to come out right now, but it doesn't feel like the right time. The only proper day I see is Black Friday, but I am just too scared to do it even though I want to. I think I am just going to say "I'm gay", kind of conversation. I rather have it as blunt as possible, and wait for the reply. I think I'm going to tell my mom first. If my mom still loves me the same then great, but if she turns out to be harsh about it than I'm going to distance myself from her afterward.
To be honest, there never is a "perfect" moment to disclose the news in my opinion. You'll always feel things are too stressful, but you know you need to come out when dealing with life becomes too hard to live when your lies and aversion of where you went/with who or what you did piles up so much it threatens you with a snowball effect. You deserve to live freely and openly just as all heteros do. I wish you luck. Incase they take it badly have some PFLAG or books on coming out for them to read. That might help. It helped me a bit and tell them you're hear if they have any questions. You might even get an anticlimatic response which might be disappointing but much more relieving. And even if they take it bad, be sure you've come out to supportive friends, a counsellor or others first so you can be surrounded by positive people when dealing with this. (*hug*)
Hi there, Andromeda! Welcome to EC! Deciding whether or not to come out is tough because it's the one thing you have 100% control over, and as soon as you do it, you pretty much lose that control all at once. It's almost like hanging onto the edge of a cliff. You just reach the point where you don't want to hold on anymore, you let yourself drop, and you just hope there's water at the bottom. In most cases, there is, and you'll be fine. But it's the not knowing part that's makes us so scared to let go. If being in the closet is this troubling for you, maybe it really is time to tell someone. But none of us here can tell you to do it, as it's not our choice to make. If it helps, I guarantee you there's at least one person in your life standing outside that closet door, and when it finally opens, they're not going to run away. And most of the time, that one person is all it takes. Good luck. (*hug*)
Hi there! Let me add a little bit to the above. Often times when you listen to friends or family you will find clues as to how they might react to your coming out. Think about things that your friends and family have said to you in the past. It's really up to you as to when you want to come out. If you feel ready and comfortable give it some thought as to who would be a good person to come out to. Are you out to any friends? If you aren't, maybe start with a friend, which will help you to become more comfortable and ready to come out to your mum. Do you have a good friend who you trust and feel would be accepting and supportive? One thing you could do before coming out, is to stand in front of a mirror and say out loud, "today I am going to come out to my mum." As you do this, take note of how you feel. If you feel too nervous or have a squeeze feeling, than maybe wait a bit. Sometimes, having these feelings is an indication of that we are not ready to take that step. But you will know when it feels right. Here are a couple of tips on coming out over the holidays compiled by Becky. Here is the Link, in case you do decide to come out over the holidays. Hope this helps a bit!
